Allow Your Timing
In my last post, I shared my frustrations with my foot. After eight shockwave treatments and new orthotics, it’s still painful to get out of bed in the morning, and limits the speed and distance of my runs. I’m trying hard to put everything in perspective. I imagine myself saying to a Ukrainian refugee, “My foot hurts! Well, it doesn’t hurt all the time, just sometimes, and I can’t run more than five miles at a time. I mean, what kind of life is that?” Don’t. Be. Ridiculous. But acceptance is a tricky thing. On the one hand, this is really not okay. It’s not okay that I’ve been dealing with this for ALMOST TWO YEARS, spent thousands of dollars, and still am not really positive of the diagnosis. But… this is where I am right now. To fight against it would be like ranting and raving about the fact that the grass is green. Thanks to Nicole, I’ve been reading a chapter of Wake Up to the Joy of You: 52 Meditations and Practices for a Calmer, Happier Life every week. This week’s chapter was “Allow Your Timing.” The chapter starts with a quote from A.A.Milne: Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day. Ah, perfect! Funny how, when you’re on the lookout for it, the right thing seems to come to you. In the guided meditation part of this chapter- (by the way, I never actually do the guided meditations. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to do a guided meditation from a book- have someone read it to you? I just read it to myself and think it over) – there is this: “Bring your heart present in this moment and accept that at this moment, things are perfect just the way they are. Take your time and do everything you do, but slow down in such a way that you relish and cherish everything that is going on in your life.” So what is there to cherish right now? SO MUCH! To start with… running. Believe me, I know the difference between being able to run a little and not being able to run at all. I’ve had some long layoffs due to injury, and it’s a whole different life. Not only can I run, but I live in Florida where it’s sunny almost every day. I grew up in the midwest and I can remember those dark winters. My family is healthy. My son is home right now, but when he goes back to school I know he’s returning to a school he loves. How lucky is that? My daughter has her challenges- as do all thirteen-year-old girls!- but she gets good grades and enjoys school. Most likely there will be some rocky times ahead with one or both kids- why not enjoy this moment where both kids are happy? Don’t get me wrong- I’m no Zen master. I’ve fought against this- ran too far, gotten angry, sworn, and last week I briefly entertained the fantasy of strangling my doctor. But I’m trying. I try to remind myself- like the river, my foot and I will get there someday. What was your worst injury? This is definitely my longest, but it’s hard to call it the “worst” because I’ve been able to run through it (for the most part.) What are you cherishing in your life right now?