Just Like Me…
Lately I’ve been making my way slowly but happily through Pema Chodron’s Welcoming the Unwelcome, and I love it. (Thanks again to Nicole for the recommendation!) It’s not a long book but I’m reading one chapter at a time and not rushing through it. This is the second book I’ve read by Pema, and what I love is, although she’s a Buddhist nun, she writes in a very clear, down-to-earth style. You know what I mean… sometimes these spiritual books say things like “Life is a river… it ebbs and flows” or “A cloud never dies.” Okay- what am I supposed to do with that? Or, let’s take Eckhart Tolle. I actually love Eckhart, but here’s a quote from his book A New Earth: “The Subject, the I, the knower without which nothing could be known, perceived, thought, or felt, must remain forever unknowable. This is because the I has no form. Only forms can be known, and yet without the formless dimension, the world of form could not be.” ACK! What??? Let’s get back to Pema Chodron (quickly.) Not only is her writing crystal clear, where everything makes sense the first time through, but she gives examples of things you can do right now to start implementing her ideas. The underlying theme of the book is the importance of overcoming polarization. She says, “There are many ways to talk about the problems of this world, but one way or another, they all have to do with polarization.” And, polarizations begins in our own minds. Pema suggests an exercise we can do called “Just like me.” You go to a public place and look around at the people. Choose a random person, and say to yourself, “Just like me, this person doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable. Just like me, this person doesn’t want to be disliked. Just like me, this person wants to have friends and intimacy.” By doing this you realize that our similarities are greater than our differences. Here’s an example from my own life where I’ve done a form of this exercise. I’ve found that sometimes I’ll begin a massage, and I’ll start to notice the odor of cigarettes emanating from the person’s skin. Outwardly I’m still working hard at the massage, but my thoughts start to go something like this: “Oh, this person smokes. They obviously don’t care about their health. What difference will one massage make? They’re not doing much to take care of themselves.” I’ve unconsciously put them in a separate category from myself, maybe even thinking that they don’t deserve a massage as much as another person. The last time I caught myself in that situation, I instead thought like this: “Just like me, this person doesn’t want to be in pain. Just like me, this person wants to feel good, Just like me, this person has some bad habits that are very hard to break.” I could go on and on. This person wants to be loved, This person wants to be healthy. This person doesn’t want to suffer. I guess the point it, I consider myself to be a reasonably tolerant and somewhat enlightened person- but I can find all sorts of examples of times when I fall into the “us” vs. “them” mentality. I’m working hard at becoming aware of this because Pema says if we can commit to overcoming polarization in our own minds, it will help the world. God knows we need as much help as possible. I know what you’re thinking- “Jenny, the title of your blog is RUNNERS FLY. What in the world does this have to do with running?” Well… I have to do something while my foot heals up! I’ve got extra time on my hands- might as well try to help the world, right? Have you read any books by Eckhart Tolle or Pema Chodron? Do you like books like this? Do you have times where you find yourself falling into an “us” vs. “them” mentality?