Change Your Body… Change Your Life?
I’m currently reading The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling. I’m going to talk more about the book in a future post, but as I was reading yesterday one passage leapt out at me: (side note- this book is not about body image at all- this is just a little side rumination of Tessa’s as she’s flipping through a magazine.) “She read the captions to a series of photographs showing a footballer’s wife in all the different outfits she had worn over the previous five days. Studying the woman’s long thin legs, Tessa wondered how different her life would have been if she had had legs like that. She could not help but suspect that it would have been almost entirely different. Tessa’s legs were thick, shapeless and short; she would have hidden them perpetually in boots, only it was difficult to find many that would zip up over her calves. She remembered telling a sturdy little girl in guidance that looks did not matter, that personality was much more important. What rubbish we tell children, thought Tessa, turning the page of her magazine.” Your first thought might be, “Don’t be ridiculous! The shape of your legs can’t change your whole life.” But let’s think about that. The woman in the magazine article wouldn’t be there- and wouldn’t have the career that she does- if her legs were “thick, shapeless and short” like Tesssa’s. Wouldn’t it follow that Tessa’s life would also be different if her legs were long and lean? Let’s rewind to my 11-year-old self. I developed early and was tall for my age. I wasn’t overweight, but I was curvier than most girls, and I was taller than most of the boys. I felt big and awkward, and was uncomfortable with my body. Furthermore, although I was tall, I had a long torso and shorter legs. I admired the girls who had long, skinny legs, and what I didn’t understand was, that was a body type they were born with, just as I was born with my longer torso. I thought that through diet and exercise I could mold my body into the shape I wanted. From sixth grade on, I alternated with starving myself and then binge eating (when my body demanded some nutrition) while obsessively doing Jane Fonda workouts. Leg lifts! Glute bridges! Crunches! If I worked hard enough, I could have a body like Jane’s… right? I didn’t yet understand that the basic body shape you’re born with is permanent. You can definitely make the most of it, but you can’t remodel it into someone else’s body. I was well into adulthood before I finally understood that. I remember a conversation I had with my boyfriend when I was in my mid-twenties. He asked me what I would want if I could have any one wish granted, and my reply was “a perfect body.” He said, “Really? What about world peace?” I replied “Ummm… no, I’ll take a perfect body.” Yes, I actually said that. We laughed about it, and of course I hope that if I were actually presented with those two options, I would choose world peace (although we’ll never really know, will we???) Why in the world was the shape of my body so important to me? I was healthy, I was running, I wasn’t in pain. For some reason the way my body looked was more important than what it could do. Fast forward to present day. My thirteen-year-old daughter is grappling with her own issue, which, ironically, is that she thinks she’s too SHORT. I ended up at 5’7″, my husband and son are both 6″5″, but my daughter apparently got some rogue gene, because she’s 5’1″ and unlikely to grow much taller. (Oh, how I would have loved to be 5’1″ in middle school!) I’ve explained to her that everyone has their own unique shape, and we all have to make the most of what we have. And I told her something that she probably doesn’t believe right now- that there will come a time in her life when she won’t care how tall she is. At some point, it just doesn’t matter anymore. All those things I was so unhappy about for so many years are things I never think about anymore. So it all has a happy ending… but what about the original question. What if I had been blessed with a “perfect” body- average height, long legs, flat stomach- all those things I longed for. Would my entire life have been different? Possibly. Who knows what interests and hobbies I might have had if I hadn’t wasted so much time thinking about food, weight, and exercise? I might have had more self confidence and related to people in a different way. I might have a completely different career. Or, if I hadn’t obsessed over my body, maybe I would have obsessed over something else, like the shape of my nose, or the color of my hair. If I hadn’t been so focused on exercise I might not have started running! My life probably would have been different… but not necessarily better. What about you? Did you (or do you now) have body issues? Has it ever seemed that the way your body looks is way too important? Do you think your life would have been different if you had a different body? I’m linking up with Jenn, Darlene, Michelle, Renee and Zenaida for Fit Five Friday- thanks for hosting, ladies!