The Prickly Sage
I think I may have mentioned (a few times) that we’ve been having a rocky time with my daughter. Angie is thirteen- which is hard enough- and in addition, she has a “prickly” personality. Let’s just say she’s honest to a fault, so that means she’ll tell you things like “Your eyebrows look horrible.” Or she’ll tell her friends their acne is ugly, and she recently told someone that his mother is stupid. We have tried! Really, we’ve tried. Angie also has her good points, of course (smart, good sense of humor, reliable) but socially… we struggle. Not surprisingly, she’s had some disagreements this year with her group of friends, and was excluded from some events- which hurt. In spite of her prickliness, it’s hard to see her unhappy. The other day I asked how she was getting along with a girl who had turned into a “rival” and my daughter paused, then said, “It’s fine. I’ve realized most of my problems are created by myself.” My heart almost stopped beating- it was such a profound statement, and so unexpected, coming from her. This girl- let’s call her Katelin- and Angie have been fighting over who will be flute section leader this year. My daughter said when the band director announced there would be a big playing test coming up, Katelin turned and gave Angie a high-five, and as Angie high-fived her, she said “I realized Katelin is not my enemy.” I’ve learned not to get too philosophical with my daughter, but I did take the opportunity to tell her that we ALL create our own problems, and a lot of adults still don’t recognize that fact. Strangely, I felt like I could learn a lesson or two from a tween who’s struggling with social skills. Other people are not our enemies. We create our own problems. If my daughter can recognize these things, there’s hope for all of us. #nablopomo2022. Thanks to our fearless leader, San, for organizing this fun challenge!