Birthday Thoughts
It’s my birthday! I’m now officially in my extremely late 50s. A couple days ago Nicole left a comment on the post where I mentioned I’m turning 59. It mirrored the very thoughts I’ve been having- she said “Why should feeling old be a bad thing? What’s wrong with feeling the age we are? ” Seriously. Why is aging such a bad thing? We compliment someone by saying “You look much younger than (whatever age they are)” or “You’re so youthful!” What is it about getting old that we object to so much? Well, let’s see. We associate getting old with getting worse– i.e. our bodies and minds breaking down. No one wants to be sick, or in pain, or suffer from dementia. Also… most of us are afraid of death. Whether we’re terrified of it, or uneasy, or sad at the thought of leaving our loved ones- no one wants to die. On that level, it is better to be young (although- sadly, young people get sick and die too). BUT, I’m stronger now than I was in my twenties (because I didn’t lift weights at all back then). I could run faster then, but I can run farther now. Hmm! So are we saying it’s okay to get older, but only if we’re still strong and capable? We’re constantly being told there’s something wrong with us- it’s not okay to have curly hair, or dark skin, or wrinkles. It’s fine to say “You don’t look (or act, or seem) like you’re 59!” But I am 59 years old. The idea that I shouldn’t look or act like I’m 59 is just another way for society to tell me it’s not okay to be who I am. Yesterday I saw I client who just turned 90. Ninety! I had to resist the urge to say “You don’t look like you’re 90!” (Honestly- he’s in very good shape, both mentally and physically). Instead I said “Wow! That’s amazing! Congratulations!” Then, since he seemed inclined to talk more, I asked him if he had any words of wisdom to share. He did… He said he spent years in therapy until he got to a place where he loves himself and loves his life. If there’s something he doesn’t like, he changes it. He doesn’t let other people’s judgments bother him, and he doesn’t worry about the future, knowing instead that he’ll be capable of dealing with any future crises if and when they happen. This all sounds great! Although he presented these ideas as his “secrets” of longevity, I’m wondering if these are just natural mind shifts that occur as we age, as opposed to a “blueprint” for getting there. But… what do I know? I’m only 59 ; ) Top photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash