Sadness
One thing I’ve learned about myself (and maybe everyone is this way, I don’t know) is that when I get sad about one thing, my brain finds all sorts of other things to be sad about as well. Saying goodbye to my son was sad, so then I got super sad that Christmas is over. That made me sad about our cat Charlotte all over again, and now my sneaky brain has found a brand new thing to be sad about. It actually started as a happy thing, one of the things that made Christmas extra special this year. My daughter has a boyfriend! She’s had crushes over the years that never worked out, and she was starting to get down on herself, asking me if she was unattractive and why no one liked her (ouch). Then, she developed a friendship with a boy she talks to at the gym all the time- they started seeing more and more of each other- and the day after Christmas he officially asked her to be his girlfriend. You guys!!! It’s the sweetest thing! At first I was worried because he’s a year older than my daughter, but as soon as I met him, I realized he’s the nicest boy in the world. He’s been over at our house all the time these last couple weeks, and I just love him. My daughter has had a huge boost in her self confidence, and for about a week all was well (in my mind). But I can’t just go along too happily, can I? Now I’m worried that he’s TOO nice for her. My daughter can be kind of… prickly… and now that they’ve gotten more comfortable with each other, I can see that coming out. What if he breaks up with her??? GAAAH, that would be so sad! So now I’m sad about something that hasn’t even happened. Maybe he likes a little bit of friction in a relationship, to balance out his niceness. OR, maybe his niceness will rub off on her and she’ll get a little softer. Or, maybe he’ll break up with her and it will be a learning experience. Either way… this is her life to live, not mine. I know you can’t let other people have control over your happiness, but it’s so hard when it’s your kids!!! Meanwhile, I have to stop this spiral of sadness I’m sinking into. I’ll try the best way I know how, which is to get up tomorrow morning and go for a run. But first, I’ll pop an Advil PM and get into bed. That should turn my brain off for a while. Do you get into spirals of sadness like this? Is there a solution? Top photo by Sophie Elvis on Unsplash