Today I met a new client who, while explaining what brought her in for a massage, said “I’m in the ‘fuck it’ phase of life.” Wait- I think I know that phase! I started thinking about the things I used to care about- or thought I SHOULD care about- but actually don’t really care about anymore. Let’s talk about some of them.
What my family eats for dinner.
I hope everyone will eat a dinner. There are frozen meals, and there’s tofu, vegetables, and rice. We have an air fryer and a rice cooker. Friday is takeout, and Wednesday is $5 sushi day at Sprouts. I’ll usually cook something once a week that should appeal to everyone, but if people don’t want to eat it, they won’t hurt my feelings. Oh, you want to go to Taco Bell with your friends? Here’s some money.
Senior photos.
We spent a CRAP TON of money on my son’s senior photos. This year, my daughter announced that she only wants to do the yearbook photo. Okay! Then, she dyed her hair black and has decided to lean into the goth look. There’s some talk of a “statement” necklace and hair clips that look like bones. Hey- you do you, Angie. If they let you take a yearbook photo like that, more power to you. We’ll purchase one and display it on the wall.
Thanksgiving.
Okay, bear with me here. I know I talked about how sad I was that my son wouldn’t be here. I worked through that and accepted that the day would just be different. Last week I was talking to a friend about Thanksgiving plans and I said “Well, Paul won’t be here, so…” -realization suddenly dawns- “… actually, I don’t really care what we do.”
Of course I’ll acknowledge that it’s a holiday, and we’ll make a meal. But I don’t have any attachment to when we’ll eat or who will be here. Angie’s boyfriend might join us. Or, he might have to work. Or, she might go to his house. It’s all good! I don’t care if we eat at the table, or sit in the living room watching football while we eat. Any way you look at it, there will still be pie.
Other things I no longer care about… finding jeans that are flattering. Running first thing in the morning. What my hair looks like (within reason, of course). The fact that my car is dented. Other people’s mental health (well- I do care. But I don’t take personal responsibility). Power dynamics at work. Leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight.
Don’t worry! There are plenty of things I still care about. My family; the cats; Christmas; reading; NaBloPoMo… I just have my priorities straight.
Are there things you no longer care about?
Who else is in the “fuck it” phase of life? – Honestly- I think it’s a post-menopausal phenomenon.
