Yesterday on The Time For Change blog, NGS explained her star rating for books she’s read. She said she rarely gives books one or two stars because she would probably just DNF it instead. In the comments I shared that I rarely, rarely DNF a book, and it’s all because of Middlemarch.
I read Middlemarch about twenty-five years ago. For at least the first half of the book, I hated it. This was back when I read a lot of classics and enjoyed them- but Middlemarch was so, so dull. I considered quitting it, but for some reason kept slogging on.
Well… after the first half, the book got better and better. And better. Today I couldn’t tell you one thing about the plot, but I remember exactly where I was when I finished it- and at the end I was so moved, I cried.
Now, that’s an extreme example of going from hating a book to loving it. But now when I’m reading a book and not really enjoying it I can’t help thinking, “What if it gets better? What if the ending is amazing? If I quit now, I’ll never know!” I know a lot of people don’t hesitate to DNF a book they don’t like, so they can move onto something they will enjoy. I can almost never bring myself to do that.
A couple weeks ago I talked about my frustration with my foot. After eleven shockwave treatments, it STILL hurts. I’m sure people are wondering, “Why in the world does she continue to get this treatment if it’s not working???” Well…
My doctor explained that for some people it takes four treatments. Some go on to have four more, and the truly unlucky ones (ahem) may need even more. He said that this treatment always works- sometimes it just takes a long time. I can’t give up on it- what if it gets better? What if the ending is amazing? I have to find out.
That said, when is the ending, exactly? When my foot is 100% healed? When I run out of money? How do you know when to pull the plug on something that truly isn’t working?
How about you- do you DNF books?
Do you have trouble changing once you’ve decided on a course of action?
Ever read Middlemarch?
24 Responses
I have read George Eliot (back in school), but not Middlemarch. Growing up I always finished a book — it wasn’t as easy to have lots of books back then and I also read them so often I could quote from them. Now there are so many available, often cheaply, that it seems I go from one to another and never reread anything. Even though I have some of my favs on my Kindle.
Because of that, too, I don’t hesitate to DNF a book if I really just don’t like it. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens, and I have 0 remorse for it. 🙂
Sorry, can’t help you with when enough is enough for your foot. I do know that these things can take a lot of time, but I doubt I would invest as much time & $$ into it as you have. I really hope that it does pay off for you!
That’s an interesting point- books somehow seemed a little more rare and valuable when I was younger. It never would have occurred to me to DNF a book back in the old days. I remember when I first heard of people talking about it, it seemed like a newfangled idea. Ha, suddenly I’m sounding elderly!
So, I love to read, as you know. But if there’s a book that’s actively making me avoid reading, I DNF. Life’s too short and there are too many great books out there for me to be avoiding reading because I picked up a dud. I see your point about Middlemarch, but I don’t think I’ve ever had regrets about DNFing a book, but I have had regrets about slogging through! I’m happily a quitter.
As for knowing when to pull the plug, it’s all relative, isn’t it? I don’t love running nearly as much as you do, so all these treatments for your foot wouldn’t make sense to me. But if it was something that was affecting my ability to read or write, I would do whatever I could to fix it because those things are huge priorities in my life.
That’s a good point- you’d never have regrets about not finishing a book you weren’t enjoying. I’m seriously going to try DNF’ing more books from now on. Also, most books I’m reading these days are not Middlemarch quality. It’s unlikely that a poorly written book I’m not enjoying is going to move me to tears by the end.
This is an interesting question. I will bail on a book or a TV show mercilessly if it doesn’t hold my attention because these are things that are supposed to be enjoyable for me to do in my limited spare time. Also there is no shortage of books or TV shows so I can afford to be picky.
Medical stuff is different. Have you gotten some relief from the treatment or are you kind of in the same place where you started? I know that when my husband was dealing with PF that everything he tried would help a little bit but not completely fix it until the day when everything magically came together. There’s no right answer other than going with your instinct. Good luck!
Ha, that’s funny because I think that describes just about everyone’s experience with PF. I know that’s what happened when I had it in my other foot- but that was regular PF, not the deluxe version like I have now.
Ha! Same here!
I can’t remember when I last DNF’d a book. Not because I hope it will get better, but because I’m obsessed with finishing something I’ve started. I’d be exactly the same about the shockwave treatments. I would stubbornly continue the therapy just because there’s a slight chance that it might help. 🙂
In Behavioural Finance, this type of behaviour is called “Belief Perseverance” – sticking to an investment strategy even if there is no evidence that it is working. But sometimes, they are right!
Ah! I’m learning so many new things today. “Belief Perseverance”- I’m going to start using that term!
So much great stuff in this post!
1) Yes, I do stop reading books, but if it’s fictional I will always, always read the ending so I get some sort of complete picture.
That said, like you, I’ve had experiences where the first 1/2 is terrible, and then the second half is terrific. I do think sometimes I stick with things for far too long, though, because I’m afraid I’ll miss out on something great.
It’s hard to balance the sunk-cost fallacy, with the truth that sometimes it just takes a lot longer than we expect to get the results we want.
2) I do often have a hard time switching course, and it’s actually a part of my personality I’m actively working on. I’m trying to get better at triaging things. Sometimes I keep going with something that’s not working and, deep down, I don’t think it will ever start working again. Other times, I genuinely don’t know. Some introspection is – sometimes – the only thing I need to differentiate between the areas where it makes sense to stick it out vs. areas where I really should throw in the towel.
That said, hindsight is 20/20, and I don’t always get this right.
Given all you’ve shared about your foot, I 100% suspect I’d still be doing the treatments, though. You’ve heard a bit about my own health saga over the last decade and I have tried and tried and tried doctor’s suggestions. I don’t regret it, but will say that making the decision to stop hormonal treatments and get surgery (essentially “throwing in the towel”) has felt so, so liberating. But I stuck with it for a decade, rightly or wrongly?!
3) I’ve never read Middlemarch!
Well… if you hadn’t stuck with it as long as you did, you might not feel as confident about your decision to change course- it’s definitely tricky to know how long is too long though.
You gave me a great idea- the next time I’m reading a book I don’t like, I’ll just flip to the end and see what happens. Because let’s face it- most books are not Middlemarch quality. It might make it easier to DNF if I can at least know the ending. Brilliant!
First off, I love that we both have Pauls! Mine goes by Pablo or Pablito now since he goes to Spanish Immersion Daycare but I imagine that will change when he starts school. When he was born, the nurses told us they hadn’t had a baby named Paul in as long as they could remember. It’s such a great, solid name so I am kind of surprised it isn’t more popular! Our Paul was named after my dad Paul and my husband’s late brother Paul. So it worked out well that there was meaning on both sides of the family!
I used to never DNF a book but now I do. I don’t think there has ever been a time when I have slogged through a book and felt glad I stuck with it when I finished it. I always wish I had cut my losses and quit! So I try to be more ruthless about DNF’ing books, unless it’s a book club book – then I will push myself to finish it.
Yeah, it’s funny- NO ONE else seems to be named Paul! I don’t think we knew one other kid named Paul while my son was growing up.
I think most avid readers are pretty ruthless about DNF’ing a book. I should probably try it more often.
Well, perhaps because you’re an optimist is why you cannot DNF a “bad” book. I’m the same way…I keep holding out, just in case the plot will get better, etc. I’m that way with friends, in a sense. I give a lot of second chances because I believe everyone is “good” in one way or another. Even “bad” people may become “good” if given the chance or the right opportunity. Of course, there have been a handful of people who have proved that theory wrong, LOL (but not many).
Yes, that’s true- I think optimism does play a part. I didn’t even think of that, but I also keep thinking things will get better, in books and life.
I rarely DNF, even if a book is terrible. I remember one exception: a book I was reading, in the second chapter, revealed that there was incestual sexual abuse, and I was “no thanks.”
I hope your doctor is right and your foot heals – sooner than later would be nice!
Yes, the only book I DNF’d in recent memory is one where I realized the plot involved experiments that were being conducted on lab monkeys. It was just too upsetting for me and I stopped reading.
If I don’t like a book or a tv show, I am out. I have way less patience than I used to. No one can tell you when enough is enough with your foot. I am not sure how long I would continue a treatment like that. When I did prolotherapy, I could tell it was working right away and did 2 treatments total. But, running is something that you really want to return to full force so continuing on might be the best choice. Rooting for you!
Thank you Deborah! I remember that I asked this doctor about prolotherapy and he said shockwave is more effective… hmm.
I usually finish a book because as you said, the second half is often the best part and I don’t want to miss it.
As fa as your foot, I get it. I had cortisone shots, B12 shots, PT, pills, lasers, CBD, cream, wraps… eventually I gave up. I ran with pain.
The pain went away… not sure why. I wonder if I could have saved the expense and it would have gone away.
I’ll never know.
Darlene, I’m seriously at the point where I think I’m just going to run as much as I want and see what happens. Nothing else is working so why not?
I am definitely someone who DNFs, but I often have a lot of guilt about it, especially if it’s a book that’s beloved. What’s wrong with me that I’m not loving it? But I also don’t want reading to feel like a chore, and if it’s feeling like that, I know it’s time to DNF. I’ll keep plugging away if I’ve heard that the book has a slow start – I’ll usually give a book 100 pages at least – but I also know that there are SOOO many books out there and I can always come back to it at another point in my life. It’s just might not be the right time!
Yes, and I’m glad you DNFd Moby Dick, ha ha. I read that whole frickin thing and really disliked it!
I am definitely not a quitter, even when I know that quitting would be totally ok, even advisable LOL I always think that things will get better eventually and what if I miss that point?
Ha ha… yes I’m the same. Maybe we’re just optimists.