Ugh. This time of year is typically very hard for me. I love the holiday season so much, starting in September when I get out my pumpkin mugs and decorations. In October I put up Halloween decorations, on November 1st Thanksgiving, and then of course on Black Friday, the house is Christmas-ed to the max. Happy month! But then…
My post-Christmas depression usually follows this schedule:
The night of December 25th: NOOOOOOOOOO! It’s over. Extreme sadness.
December 26th: Wait, this week is still The Holidays. Decorations are up, there’s delicious food and the kids are still home from school. This isn’t so bad!
December 27th-31st: Mounting dread. All the decorations are going to have to come down- it’s going to be SO MUCH WORK.
First Day Back to School: Full-on depression. Everything is officially over. Life seems dull and drab. The house looks horrible without festive decorations. This is terrible! How will I get through it?
Several Days Later: Depression has lifted. The month of January seems blah, but otherwise I’m back to normal.
I’ve tried all sorts of different things to mitigate the depression phase- taking down the decorations early, taking them down late, making the “un-decorating day” a little holiday with fun food… nothing works. But why should it work? Christmas and the months leading up to it are the best time ever- of course I’m sad when it’s over.
As a matter of fact, I can’t understand why everyone isn’t depressed. What- you don’t like beautiful decorations, delicious food, gifts, and more time with your family? How do some people sail through the end of December unscathed? One year I was walking my son to school on the first day back and neighbors were calling out cheerfully “Happy New Year!” I was astonished that they weren’t sobbing silently to themselves, as I was.
Last year was extra-special. As I’ve mentioned, my son and I both got Covid on Christmas Eve, so I was home from work the entire week between Christmas and New Year’s. After the first couple of days with the worst sore throat ever (me) and high fever (my son) we were both just tired and achy, and I spent the days resting on the couch with my cat on my lap. Because I was sick on Christmas, the house wasn’t properly cleaned so there were ribbons and wrapping paper strewn about, and opened presents placed haphazardly under the tree. It was a very lazy, cozy week… and I got SO DEPRESSED.
It was the worst post-Christmas depression I’ve ever had. It seemed unbearably sad that my son would be going back to school (in two weeks) and that he wouldn’t be home for Easter. I knew I wasn’t thinking logically, but the thought that Christmas was over was terrible. This depression finally lifted after New Year’s Day, when I went back to work.
(A quick word about my work schedule. I work at a spa which is closed five days a year: Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, Easter, 4th of July, and Thanksgiving. Other than those days, if it’s a day I’m scheduled to work, then I’m expected to be there. Of course I can and do request days off, but I like to reserve them for things like taking my son to school in August, or going to Tampa with my daughter for All-State this month.)
This year, Christmas fell on a Sunday which is my day off anyway. That meant I had no extra days off, and was scheduled to work Christmas Eve (although only until 1:00) and the day after Christmas. At first I thought I would hate that, and considered asking for at LEAST the day after Christmas off. But then I remembered the terrible depression of last year, and decided to see what would happen if I worked straight through. Well…
The day after Christmas, not only did I go to work, but my son had a friend over. So on Christmas night after dinner I kicked it into high gear getting the house cleaned up. I got rid of all the wrapping paper, bows, boxes, and other festive clutter. I placed a few presents neatly back under the tree (like my rice cooker, which I wasn’t ready to unpack and start using right away) but mostly the house was tidied up.
My Christmas night sadness was lurking in the background, but it felt SO GOOD to be busy and get the house cleaned. The next day I didn’t feel like going to work- but it was the best thing I could have done.
It was a busy day, and aside from a few polite inquiries, no one talked about Christmas. It was so busy that there were stretches where I didn’t even think about what day it was. When I got home I was happy to see the Christmas tree and a nice clean house.
The rest of the week was equally busy. On December 30th I suddenly thought “Would’t it be nice to celebrate New Year’s Eve without that old tree taking up half the living room?” After getting the kids’ approval, I moved quickly and took it down. I made a makeshift New Year’s Eve “display” and thought I would wait to take everything else down.
But on New Year’s Day I had a burst of energy and a “let’s get this over with” feeling. I started the long process of “Grinching” the house. It is a LONG process because many things need to be laundered- sheets, pajamas, towels, tablecloths… every year when I put it all away I think “Why do I do this to myself?” But I know that next year on Black Friday I’ll be saying “I can’t wait to get out the Christmas shower curtains!”
I took a page from Suzanne’s book, and kept my Christmas cards out. They’re the one thing I’m not ready to part with! I’ll keep them up (along with a string of white lights) as long they make me happy.
Of course there are little twinges of sadness… the first morning I got up and there was no tree was tough. But overall I’m still too busy to dwell on it. My daughter had a birthday last week, and this coming weekend we’re planning a party for her. And then NEXT week we all go to Tampa for four days while she plays in the All-State band.
I’m sure I’ll be sad when this is all over and my son goes back to school. But so far this is the most successful post-Christmas period I’ve ever had. What I learned was, I can’t take too much time off. If I relax too much, I don’t decompress- I deflate.
Everyone is different, but I can’t work through a depression by focusing too much on my feelings. I need to keep active until the feeling passes… and it always does.
How do you deal with post-holiday blues? Or are you relieved when the holidays are over? Do you have any techniques that work for you? I would love to hear how other people cope with this.
36 Responses
Since our holidays are now very low key… not a problem with the blues.
But I used to HATE putting everything away.
My blues are the gray skies and cold weather we have here until May!!!!
Yes, I think if you keep things more low-key, it’s not as depressing when it’s over. BUT, you definitely have some depressing weather- good thing you have a Florida vacation to look forward to!
I can relate to this, but not as bad. January is such a dull month in Northern Europe. It’s still dark and cold but you don’t have the Christmas decorations to light things up. I really dislike taking down the decorations for this reason and keep at least the electric lights as long as I can.
You mentioned the fact that Christmas Day was on a Sunday – here in Ireland, when that happens there is actually an extra day off the week after to make up for it (or really, I don’t know the reason). That’s quite interesting!
I think most people here had Monday off- that’s common when a holiday is on a weekend like that. That’s why I explained my work schedule- it’s a little different from most people’s jobs.
Yes, I would imagine it’s VERY dark and cold in Northern Europe! Right now I’m very glad I’m in Florida, no matter how hot it gets.
Yes, I think the answer for myself is to keep myself busy. When my husband asks “what are your plans for the day?” I need to be able to have an answer!
Taking down the Christmas tree reminded me of how large our main living space really is! I was so pleased when we took it down and it seemed like we gained an entire room back! So, maybe I should focus on how lovely it is to have the tree for extra light, but also how lovely it is to have space for the dog and cat to run around like little lunatics.
Yes, taking down our tree really opened up the space. But taking down the decorations also reminded me how blah my usual decor is- I really need to make our living room look happier year-round. I will say, one of our cats couldn’t care less but the Calico (Muffin) probably misses the tree- her favorite place to sleep for the month of December was curled up on the tree skirt.
We’re on opposite depression schedules. I feel down during the holidays and once New Year’s hits I have a whole new burst of energy. I just know that it’s normal for me and that everything will get better in January, but it’s not much consolation when I’m in the middle of it.
Anyway friend, hang in there because this too shall pass.
That is really interesting- yes, we’re polar opposites on this. Even growing up, I felt excited during the holidays and then depressed in January (and February, and March, and sometimes April!) It is important to remember that the holidays aren’t necessarily joyful for everyone- it’s probably especially hard to be depressed in December when it seems like everyone else is so happy. Well… I’m glad it’s January and you have your burst of energy!
You know I get this 100%. Christmas Day (afternoon) is when my slump starts. I feel so sad. I think a lot of it, too, is just the sudden stop to a frantic pace. My favourite Christmas ever as an adult was 2020 (ironic, I know) because we had such a calm, quiet Christmas season, so I was actually RESTED when we arrived at Christmas/New Year’s. But I am someone who loves anticipation so from mid-November to December 25th at lunchtime, I am in full anticipation mode. So it’s always a letdown to no longer have that anticipation mode in high gear.
Last year was extremely tough for me. I was very, very depressed. The kids ended up getting 2 extra weeks at home due to COVID (one extra for holiday + one of at-home learning). I had some health issues. And knowing I “should” be happy made me feel so guilty about wanting to curl up in a ball in my bed and cry for a week – which I couldn’t do because I was hosting people at my house.
This year has been a lot better. I’m tired, but having my son be sick much of December meant the week between Christmas and New Year’s was mostly about recuperating from lack of sleep which oddly enough really helped to soften the blow. I left the decorations up until today, but have now taken down 70% of things. Doing it all at once seems like too much, but I also need to mostly rip the Band-Aid.
This year we also had overnight guests arrive on the 30th of December; they left this morning when my kids headed back to school. So we had a repeat “Christmas dinner” and I took all the ornaments off the tree last night while we were piled in the living room talking. I always hate dismantling the tree, so having a room full of people talking really helped me feel less depressed (I usually do it solo when the kids are at school).
So I struggle too and just think some years are better than others. I have to let myself feel blue, but I also try to make sure there are some distracting, fun adventures between Christmas and New Year’s.
Also, your line: “One year I was walking my son to school on the first day back and neighbors were calling out cheerfully “Happy New Year!” I was astonished that they weren’t sobbing silently to themselves, as I was.” I laughed SO hard and so loud when I read this. I feel this way, too, sometimes. When people are giddy with delight on Christmas afternoon/Boxing Day and I’m sometimes literally crying into my coffee that Christmas is over.
Elisabeth, I really feel like we’re on the same page, more so than almost anyone I know. And although I don’t want you to be sad, I’m also glad I’m not the only one. Sometimes I wonder if it’s strange that an adult feels so sad about Christmas ending… but there must be more of us out there. Maybe we need to start a support group, ha ha. Oh wait- I guess that’s kind of what this blog is.
Anyway, it sounds like you’re doing okay this year- yes, some years are better than others and it just depends on circumstances that are sometimes beyond our control. I always have to remind myself, the reason I get so sad is that I get SO much joy from the rest of the season- and I wouldn’t give that up. I just have to accept that a letdown is part of it all.
I’m so glad you’re doing better this year!
You have a Christmas shower curtain! Amazing!
Ha ha… I have TWO Christmas shower curtains, one for each bathroom!
OH THE FOUL THINGS MY KIDS WOULD DO TO TOILET SANTA.
I love the fresh start of the new year enough to move past the post-christmas slump, BUT I fear this will change dramatically when my birds start to leave the nest.
I also have a 5-week winter break, which helps take the sting away, I think, although it sounds like being busy was a good idea for you. Love the idea of scheduling something to look forward to immediately post-christmas as well.
Yes- it’s going to be hard for me when my son goes back to college. That adds an extra layer of melancholy to everything.
I 5-week break sounds amazing, but I think it would be very hard for me to go back after all that time off! But that’s just me… I think most people would love it.
I am definitely an outlier in this regard – I do not get the post-Christmas blues. I am very antsy to get back to “normal” life. I took all the decorations down yesterday while my husband went into work (on his day off!!) and the boys were back in school. And it felt sooo good. But I am creature of habit and thrive on routines, and Christmas and routines are not compatible, generally. I also love the fresh start of a new year and a new planner. I like to think about what the year to come may bring and I’m in a stage of life where life is getting easy as the years pass. I’m not trying to wish time away, but I do appreciate that we are FAR closer to being done with teething than we were a year ago, and sleep is in a better place. So I’m kind of welcoming the march of time.
I do think I will have a harder time with this time of year when my kids are college age and they are only home for the holidays! I imagine I will be very sad then. But it’s hard to even think about since it is so far off and life will look quite different, like I might be retired or close to retired? Or maybe not in the fast lane of work life at least? But that is 13 years ago so it feels like a life time away, although I know that the time will go fast.
All that said, I am glad that this was a gentler Christmas season for you and that you found that being busier was good for you! I prefer to be busy when I am struggling with something, too. I need to talk about it/acknowledge my feelings, but I can’t sit with them for too long or I will get bogged down. I’ve also found therapy to be incredibly helpful as I’m prone to ruminate on things and that is not healthy for me at all!
I do know what you’re saying about routine- I like routine as well and the holidays really wreak havoc with that. Just today I was telling someone “I love the holidays, but I have to admit I’m looking forward to getting back to a normal schedule.”
I totally get it and it sounds like this year you might have come the closest to figuring out the best way to work through the post-holiday blues. I used to get sad after Christmas, especially when our sons were young and would be home from school. My husband and I would take the week off between Christmas and New Year’s Day and perhaps half the reason for sadness was going back to work after so much time off. Usually by January 2nd I am so ready for all of the decorations to come down, but this year they’re still up – hoping to start taking them down tomorrow.
Yes- I feel like the longer you have off, the harder it is to go back. Good to know that maybe I’ll still “outgrow” my post-Christmas depression!
Just yesterday I was walking through Zurich and everyone looked so sad!!
I always envy the Catholic countries because they still have the 6th of January to celebrate (Three Kings day). In fact, in Spain, that’s the day they get presents, not on Christmas day!
Well done on overcoming the Post-Holiday Depression!!
I know- Epiphany it tomorrow. I’ve tried to celebrate January 6th but it never seems to work- it would work better if I lived in a country where everyone else was celebrating as well.
I’m so sorry that you go through this, but glad that you discovered something about yourself that might help you through it going forward.
I am fortunate, I do not have a post holiday mood slump. I love the week between Christmas and New Years. The pressure is off from Christmas, the decorations are still up and pretty, people are still in a pretty good mood. We take down our decorations on New Years Day, and I love how suddenly the house looks less cluttered and feels ‘lighter’. The days are starting to get longer, which helps some too.
I am sure I would feel differently if my daughter didn’t live with us. If she were going back to college or something, I would definitely be sad. She lived with us when she was in college, because we live pretty close to a great college, and she avoided graduating with debt that way. If we had paid for her to live on or near campus, she could not have done that.
I love your Santa bathroom, it made me laugh out loud with joy. HO HO HO!
I’m glad you liked the bathroom! “Ho ho ho” is exactly the response I want from that.
That shower curtain is delightful!
I don’t know that I get the Christmas Blues, but I have been spinning my wheels a little this week with everyone back in school. I find it hard to go from a very scheduled/full holiday week to a wide open calendar. I have some work coming up next week, so I think I will feel better and more focused once that starts. It is kind of like when I have a show to work on and every minute of my day is spoken for, and it’s always a let down when that is over and I have to find my own interior motivation.
I hate the work of taking everything down, but I do like getting the space back. For about a week after the tree comes down, our living room feels spacious. But then life starts crowding back in again.
Yes, I know what you mean. Our living room isn’t very big to begin with, so the tree REALLY crowds it.
Starting work next week will probably help you a lot- but it’s nice you had a week to rest and get things organized.
Keeping busy helps me, too! This year, I tried to have “winter” decorations to put up while I took the Christmas ones down (and reorganized how I stored the Christmas ones), so I felt both accomplished and didn’t have the house look so empty. Congrats on finding your way through this this year and lots of good thoughts your way for what comes next!
Yes, having something else to put up when you take the Christmas stuff down helps a lot. It keeps the house from looking TOO blah.
Oh no, I am so sorry about the after Christmas depression. This sounds rough. It depends on the year how I am doing honestly and it’s mostly the Christmas time itself. This year we stayed home since that’s what the kids wanted and I felt good about our decision. The rest was good but usually staying busy works better for me. I am always a little sad during the holidays that our extended family is so far away. One year mys sister in law and her husband were visiting what was fun and some years we do travel to Germany what is fun, too, but I like the summer visits better all in all. It’s tricky. One thing that sometimes helps me is to plan our next vacation. That always gets my mood up. Also planning our summer trip to Germany and booking the airline tickets will help (not so much the price of it though).
I still keep our decorations up until January 6th because that’s what my grandma always deemed the end of Christmas – so I have one more day before everything goes back in the box. Hang in there!
January 6th is Epiphany and technically the last day of Christmas! So you’re right on schedule.
I am so sorry that you struggle with this post-Christmas depression. I often feel that way after big events — all the anticipation and adrenaline just… stops, and there’s nothing left. However, Christmas is not like that for me. I feel like I start the season feeling excited and happy about Christmas, and I love to decorate and plan, but then by the time it’s over I am OVER IT. It just gets gradually more and more cluttered and I feel a big wind of restoring order sweeping me up. It sounds like you had a little of that, this year, and I hope it grows for you with time. These past couple of years, the satisfaction of restoring order has completely obliterated any lingering sadness about the holiday.
I am so glad you are keeping the cards up! Mine are still on the wall, and they fill me with such joy!
I wish I felt the way you do- it sounds like you really enjoy Christmas, but also enjoy the time when it’s over. Well- maybe someday.
Yes- we’re loving the cards. Especially since everything else is down, we’re focusing on the cards more.
I feel you! I still haven’t gotten my post-holiday burst of “take-down” energy (probably because I’ve been knitting so much). I do like enjoying all the decorations & additional color with the pressure & stress of the holidays behind me. I have a tree-shaped picture holder (with a bunch of “coils”) that I display all the holiday cards, and that stays up all year (until the next holiday cards start rolling in). Maybe this weekend I’ll get that energy …or maybe not. Stay tuned 🙂
Yes, I want to keep my cards up for a long time! They’re so pretty, and we’re still enjoying them. Good luck… I hope you either get that take-down energy, or are content with the decorations up for a little while longer.
I definitely feel you on the post-holiday blues… but my approach always is to keep the tree/decorations up as long as I feel like it… (in fact, they’re still up now)… but I also think it’s great that you found some sort of strategy this year and that the busy week kinda helped you get over the hump!
So glad you’re feeling better this year and I am personally a fan of keeping up the cards (yay, I spy mine and am happy you got it!). I took down last years card after Thanksgiving LOL
Yes, I got your card! It’s up on the “blogger” side of the card display. The cards will stay up for a while- actually just got one from a client yesterday!
I don’t really get the post-Christmas blues, which is funny considering how much I love Christmas and love decorating for Christmas. But once December 26th hits, I am READY to get my home back to order. I take things down slowly, though, so it usually takes me at least a few days (sometimes a week!) to get everything down. I also really love that week between Christmas and New Year’s – it’s quiet and contemplative and I love thinking about a fresh new year and what I want to accomplish.
I’m glad this year was better than last year! The post-holiday blues can be really rough. It’s good that you’re finding ways to combat them!
I wish I could be more like you- enjoy the holidays to the fullest but then be fine when they’re over. This was definitely my best year so far with it, although it still might hit me when my son leaves.