WOOHOO! It’s my favorite month! November has a little bit of everything- fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas prep… and once again I’m joining San for #NaBloPoMo2023. Let’s get the party started!
This year, for NaBloPoMo, I want to focus on a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately. The older I get, the more aware I am that our days are numbered. That sounds depressing, but it really isn’t. If our days were unlimited, there would be no reason to treasure them- but knowing that they’re finite makes me understand how unique and rare each one truly is.
We might have one day left, or we might have thousands. But the fact is, we all have a finite number of days, so why waste a single precious one?
How do we waste our days? Well, here’s a few things I’m guilty of:
Comparing what I’m doing to something “better.” It’s so easy, on a hard day at work, to wish I were home sitting on the couch, snuggled with my cat reading a great book. But wait! Wouldn’t it be even better to be reading a great book on the deck of a cruise ship, holding a fancy drink with a little umbrella… but wait again! Maybe that’s not as good as a cruise to ALASKA- yes, that would be better… or maybe…
The point is, you can always think of something “better” than what you’re currently doing. But why? Why compare one experience to another? A day at work (or spent cleaning out the garage, or going to the dentist) has just as much value as a day at the best party ever. We can’t afford to throw any of them away like that.
Another way to waste a day is by letting other people bring us down. Here’s a little story: one morning a few weeks ago, my daughter couldn’t find her shoes and yelled at my husband meanly, saying he “lost” them (when the truth was, she left them in the middle of the living room and he moved them to vacuum.) Later in the day I texted him to ask how his day was going, and he replied that he was still really upset about the argument with our daughter.
Really? That was HOURS ago! I’ve been through so many scenes like that with her, I guess I’m immune to them. I just can’t let an emotional 14-year-old dictate how my day is going to be. But that’s not to say I’ve never succumbed to those thoughts- there have been many days where I’m endlessly ruminating about someone’s comment or criticism. Why do we give other people so much power over us?
A third way I’ve been known to waste my day is by not setting myself up for success ahead of time. It’s really hard to appreciate the day when you’re really tired, or your back hurts or your stomach aches. There have been plenty of days where I’m at work thinking “I can’t wait for this to be over so I can go home and lie down.” Sometimes these things are unavoidable, but I can try to get enough sleep, eat well and do my back stretches every night so I’m not setting myself up for failure the next day.
So my projects for the month of November are: 1) stop comparing what I’m doing to something “better”; 2) don’t let other people’s negativity bring me down; and 3) do everything possible to set myself up physically and mentally to have a good day. My theme for NaBLoPoMo2023 is “Every Day Counts.” I encourage you to join me! I’ll be doing some posts around these topics, and checking in regularly with updates on how I’m doing.
Happy November, friends!
Do you have any goals or projects for November?
Header photo by Nelly Antoniadou on Unsplash
50 Responses
Jenny, that is a very good attitude to have! I definitely have days where I just want to lie down and those often are due to my own lack of exercise or poor thinking and can go in a pretty bad loop sometimes. I think getting yourself out of the loop is important and so some stretching and a mental adjustment are often needed! My big Nov “project” is to get my holiday cards created and prepared to send out. It is basically a five step process and I have yet to start on step one so I need to get a move on!
Thank you for motivating me to get my step one done on holiday cards! I bought the Groupon for getting the cards done at Staples. They were fine last year, so I decided doing it again that way, instead of taking time I don’t have to compare alllllll the options, was the way to go. And I did already do step two, which is picking a funny photo of the cat to use. Now it’s moving along!
Actually I just motivated myself this morning and got step one done, which is marking a bunch of photos as favorites. Step two will be whittling those down from hundreds to a couple dozen then seeing how the best ones fit onto a card. I feel good to have step one done! Onwards and upwards!
Alright, I wish everyone would stop talking about their holiday cards- you’re making me anxious! I have not done one single thing in that area.
I have a physical job, so if I’m not feeling good it can REALLY mess me up. But it’s all up to me to put myself in a good place.
I love this Jenny. Such a good theme to ponder throughout NaBloPo, I jot it down maybe I have something to say here.
On another note have you read “The Measure” that would be a book perfectly fitting your intent here. It really does make you think about the days your have and how you spend them.
I am guilty of thinking and rethinking and overthinking about certain situations that really annoyed me, hurt me or overwhelmed me in some way. It’s like a time loop and I am reliving it trying out different scenarios. And I even do those before something has happened. Ughhhh such an energy waste and waste of living time.
Yes, I did read The Measure- that was a fascinating idea (I don’t think I’d want to know the length of my string- would you?)
Oh yes I know that time loop! Why do our minds do that?
I wouldn’t want to know it either. We had big book club discussion about it and I was one of the few to not wanting to know.
This is perfect.
I will start today.
I tend to worry about things that didn’t go right and keep thinking about them. They are over and there’s nothing that can be done to change it. Seize the day and make Today the Best Day ever!
So I’m with you.
November goal- run 26.2 miles and be happy no matter slow I run it!! Enjoy Thanksgiving Day even if it’s not how you would want it to be.
Yes, you have a huge November goal! Think about “seize the day and make today the best day ever” on November 5th.
Love this.
I am definitely someone that is impacted by an altercation with my kids; a huffy mood, a mean comment can COMPLETELY derail my day. Though I recently started reading a book called The Emotional Life of Teenagers and it said we need to start worrying when our kids DON’T act this way. Also I realize school and being a tween/teen (especially a girl) is HARD. Like so, so hard. So it makes sense they bottle up a lot of angst that spills over at home. This year has been so much better than last year, thankfully, but parenting is hard so I can definitely relate to your husband!
Can’t wait to see all you have for us lucky readers during NaBloPoMo <3
Thanks Elisabeth. Yes, being a teen girl is hard! It’s unpleasant to be the brunt of mean comments, but we have to keep remembering it’s not about us, and all about them. Glad things are looking up this year.
Wow! You have a theme! That seems so organized and thoughtful to me. I’m just going to keep posting nonsense!
Ha ha, well last year I was dumbfounded by your random noun project. I think this might be easier than that one!
My goal is to survive November. The last three months have been A Lot, with my mother’s health, and of course this is the year my brother is visiting at Thanksgiving instead of Christmas–which is good, but means I have less time before I have to clear the spot for the airbed. So I will clear that space, and we’re going out for turkey dinner instead of cooking it all ourselves, and the goal is just to enjoy the time together. I will try very hard to focus on what is, instead of what isn’t, this year.
Surviving the month is a good goal! November is a busy month to begin with, but when you throw in family and health issues, it can be stressful. We’ll help by cheering you on from the sidelines.
I love your theme for the month! And you are so right about these time wasters. I am guilty of ALL of them. Such a good reminder to be more present and not let the little things get you down.
Thanks Suzanne! We’re all guilty of it. I’m hoping that by focusing on it this month I can make progress in my own life.
Okay I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this. I would add (to my personal list) – turning to very easy distractions (aka: phone) rather than focusing on my surroundings, what I actually want to be doing, etc. I have gotten *so* much better about this over time, but still in times of high stress (like past 2 weeks), it is my crutch.
The Every Day Counts is just such a beautiful concept. Writing it in my planner as we speak!
Shu, I started to write this a couple weeks ago, and then read several things in your blog posts that really echoed what I’m trying to say (for example, when you said you want to still enjoy life while you’re injured and not just try to get through it.) I kept thinking “yes! Yes! I’m going to talk about this in November!”
I am guilty of all the examples you mentioned. Especially the “let others bring me down”. I get so influenced by other peoples emotions and outbursts even if I know that there is absolutely no reason and it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I am working on it (with more or less success depending on the day) and I have to say it gets easier with age. I could go on and on about this topic.
My dad is in the process of selling his house and moving out to live closer to my brother so this is something I am working on this November (physically for some days and emotionally the rest of the month I expect).
You hit on a good point- most of the things people say and do to us have nothing to do with us, and everything to do with them. And I agree- it does get easier with age.
Good luck with you dad- sounds like a big change.
I like this mindset! I think my only goal is to complete this November blog post challenge and see where I go from there 🙂 thank you for stopping my mine earlier today.
Ha, that’s a worthy goal! It should be a fun month.
I love this thought process. No, none of us know how much time we have. And being present is such a gift when we can do it, to really be where we are, and not ruminate too much on the past or the future. It’s difficult, but with practice perhaps can be managed. I certainly haven’t figured it out. But like you, if I prepare for a day, mentally and physically, things tend to go better for me.
“Being present is such a gift WHEN WE CAN DO IT…” Why is it so hard???
I love that you came up with a theme for NaBloPoMo and I am very much looking forward to your posts! I totally agree that it’s so easy to “waste precious” time when we all we have to do is “shift our mindset” (ha, if only it was THAT easy).
Thanks for putting this thought out there. I am sure many people might have a thought or two to share.
And thank you for being such a huge advocate for NaBloPoMo! That means a lot!
San, NaBloPoMo has made a huge difference to me with my blog. I’ve met so many great people and well, really started to go in a different direction with it. So i owe it all to you! I never would have done NBPM (or even heard of it) if not for you. So THANK YOU.
Yes! Christmas in November!!!! I’m voting this my favorite post under the NaBloPo tree this morning.
All of the things that you describe have been issues for me in the past few years in my “not living my best life” slump, with #1 being letting what other people do affect my mood. I feel like I’ve made enough progress that I can start having goals again and enjoy my life the way it is now. So in other words, I’m in for making every day count!
Ha ha… the NaBloPoMo tree…
I’m glad you’ve made progress in these areas! It’s so easy to “know” this and say it, but harder to implement. That’s why I wanted to focus on it this month.
This is such a great mindset shift! I’m definitely guilty of wishing time away when I have something exciting to look forward to. I think it’s natural to want to “skip ahead” to that event but it’s so important to stay in the present moment.
That said, my goals for November are to enjoy the extra few days I have off work (Veterans Day and Thanksgiving/Black Friday) especially because I’ll get to spend time with my family then, soak up the (hopefully!) cooler weather, and just embrace running for fun for a couple months before I start training again!
Ooh, that sounds nice- November is a great month, weather-wise. The only extra day off I have is Thanksgiving, but I’ll take it! Now the challenge is to not wish the days away, to get to the “good” ones faster.
Great theme! Comparison truly is the thief of joy, and we often let people have too much power over us. Cheering you on!
Thank you Nicole! You were a great cheerleader last year as well 🙂
I love this theme and your projects! ‘Every day counts’ lands for me in so many ways; I’m trying to be more present in my life (vs. worrying through it) and it’s good to remember that the day is going to happen whether I take advantage or not…
Yes, that’s a great way of looking at it- the day is going to happen regardless. We can worry through it or enjoy it- the choice is entirely ours.
That is a really great theme. I’ve been thinking similarly lately, which I always do but even more now at this age and with my children having left (ish). Sometimes I worry that it’s a bummer to blog about though, so it’s good to have reinforcement. I do have a hard time shaking things off sometimes; partly it’s something I can work on and partly it’s just my personality. Definitely hear you on the back stretches and not staying up too late (reading, mostly. That’s a tough one to stop).
Allison, that’s exactly why I stay up too late- I don’t want to put my book down!
I really think we start to think more and more about these things as we get older- maybe it’s because we have more time (without the distraction of little kids) or maybe it’s a growing awareness of our mortality.
point 2 reminds me of the fable of two monks who met a lady on the road and the older monk offers to carry her, so she climbs on his back and then proceeds to complain the whole way. When they get to their lady’s destination, the old monk puts her down and they continue on their way. But the younger monk starts grumbling about what an ungrateful person the old lady was, and being generally very unhappy with the experience. Then the older monk says, “My son, I put the old lady down hours ago; why are you still carrying her?”
I think about that fable a lot when I find myself carrying other people’s negativity – there can be legitimate learning from people’s feedback (even if it isn’t delivered in the nicest way) but I find that i also fall into the trap of stewing about the negative feedback rather than looking for a way forward.
Yes- I know that fable and I love it. So true!
Such a great direction to take this Jenny. I look forward to reading more.
THank you Melissa! I’m looking forward to everyone’s posts this month.
What a great idea to have a theme for your NaBloPoMo! And a good theme, too.
Now I’m wondering if I made my parents’ day miserable too when I was a teenager. It’s rough to be a parent!
Looking forward to all your posts, Jenny!
I definitely was not pleasant to be around during my teenage years- so I try to take it all with a grain of salt.
That is such a lovely theme to have! I sometimes find it difficult to ignore negativity or not take it personally. I’m looking forward to your posts 🙂
Thank you Anthea! It should be a fun month.
Hi Jenny. I find this so relatable. I’ve been feeling the same way – our time is limited. This isn’t new information, but it seems to be more and more apparent. Curly’s besties’ mom died suddenly last year and I’ve lost two cousins, one younger than me and one just a bit older than me in ’23. Mini’s college roomie almost died a few weeks ago after a freaky flesh eating bacteria got into a cut on her knee. I also often feel like WHAT WOULD LIFE BE LIKE IF I HAD A CAREER INSTEAD OF RUNNING A DAYCARE, and I would like to feel more settled with what I’m doing in the moment.
I like your theme. Make it count!
Getting older is making it more apparent to me, but also life events like you mentioned can really drive it home. And yes- we need to feel settled with what we’re doing right now instead of wishing for something different.
I love this perspective! It’s a good thing to be reminded of as we can kind of take things for granted. I don’t have goals for November. We are really limping into the month. I don’t know how else to sum it up. Phil is in worse shape than me as the flu really hit him hard. He’s lost 8 lbs this fall from his various viruses and he didn’t have 8 lbs to lose!! So I think we are both really hoping we will get to a point where we have more energy and don’t want to spend the evening laying down! Super exciting goals around here!! 😉
Oh, that sounds hard. I guess your goals for November are to get through the month intact. I hope Phil feels better soon!
I love that you picked a theme for NaBloPoMo and it will be fun to see how you incorporate this theme throughout the month. As someone who lives with anxiety that likes to remind me all the terrible things that could happen in my life at any moment, the one GOOD thing that comes with that is that I really do find it easy to live in the moment and be grateful for what I have right now. I always feel grateful for the memories I DO get to make because my anxiety wants me to never forget it could be taken away at any moment. IT’S REAL FUN. Haha.