A few weeks ago, while browsing around the internet, I came across the question; “What do you believe that most people don’t?”
Hmmm. I thought about it, and then made a list of things I believe. But each of those things were ideas I got from other people- podcasts, blog posts, books- rather than something unique that most people don’t believe. Ever since then I’ve been thinking about it- there must be SOMETHING!
While getting ready for my race, I decided my answer- for now (I hope I can come up with something else as time goes by)- is that I believe I can complete a 50 mile race.
Of course, I’m not the only one who believes this- people are running 50 miles, and much farther, all the time. But almost always, when I mention it to someone, the response it “How can you do that? I could never do that! I can’t even imagine running that far!”
The truth is, most of us could do it. It’s just that most people don’t want to (and that’s completely understandable.) It’s not like I’m a gifted athlete. And it’s not like I have an invincible body. I’ve mentioned many times that after my daughter was born, I was plagued by one injury after another. But I’ve always wanted to run ultra marathons, and I believe I can do it, so I found a way to make it happen.
Today in the gym I listened to this episode of the Huberman Lab podcast with David Goggins. I know a lot of people don’t like him, but if you need a pep talk or a kick in the pants, this episode is powerful. Huberman shared some scientific findings that show when you do something really hard, something that you don’t want to do, a part of your brain actually gets bigger. This part of the brain is associated with willpower, and ultimately the will to live. (This part of the conversation comes at 46:00 into the podcast, if you’re interested in things like this.)
Goggins talks about how everything is hard for him. Running hurts, but he does it anyway. He says he’s not smart and grew up with ADHD, but he’s studying to be a paramedic right now, and learning the material is excruciatingly slow for him. But the whole point is that these things are hard. If he loved running, or if studying came easy, it wouldn’t create that friction he needs to grow.
If you listen to this, you’ll realize that most of us are living pretty cushy lives. I know we all have our troubles, but overall we like to be comfortable. I remember last year when we were in Tampa, my husband and I had signed up for a 3K race. The forecast was showing a very cold- “Florida cold,” that is- morning, 40s and rainy. The night before, my husband said “Do we have to do it?”
My son said “What would David Goggins say?” and it made me laugh. Let’s see.. this was a 3K race, which is less than two miles. Okay, 40 and rainy feels cold to Floridians, but it’s not really cold.
When I’m running my race and things start to fall apart (which they inevitably will) I’ll ask myself “What would Goggins do?” He would probably laugh at the thought of quitting in a 50 mile race. He would also probably swear at me. And after he finished laughing and swearing, he would definitely tell me, in no uncertain terms, to keep going.
Can you think of something you believe that most people don’t?
Is there anything really hard you don’t want to do, but you do anyway? – (Does making dinner every day count???)
Header photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash
29 Responses
LOL, I’ve stopped making dinner most days, so I can’t even use that one! Right now my really hard is staying positive while my hamstring continues to torment me. It’s not even a first world problem, but it’s what I’m struggling with personally.
Coco, I totally get that struggle. Maybe it doesn’t seem severe compared to what some people are going through, but that doesn’t diminish your struggle with this. I’ve been there. I hope it resolves SOON.
I don’t know who that person is, but I do believe that doing hard things increases our capacity to do hard things. Like…we did it! We did the thing that we didn’t think we could do. Honestly often we get in our own way.
I am in the midst of doing something that is hard, but I think I can do it, so I’m doing it! I can’t be more specific but I understand you. I mean, I’m not RUNNING FIFTY MILES. Or even one mile! But it’s a challenge for me anyway.
I smiled at you in your shorts with a hat and gloves!
Well, now there’s scientific proof that doing hard things increases our capacity to do hard things. Actually it’s kind of funny that scientists are like “Look what we discovered!” and you’re saying “yes, I knew that all along. Duh.”
Yes making dinner everyday counts as hard dammit!!! Can we have a reality show where Dave Goggins cooks dinner for a family with kids every night for a month? Note to self that I want to read Living with a Seal.
I believe that you will run 50 miles and finish the race before dark. For myself, I believe that I will stop working by choice when I turn 50 and be able to live a fulfilling life without paid work – it’s still a bit of a scary concept but I believe that I can do it.
Hahahahaha… I DID think about that during the podcast actually- yes, he’s done all these crazy hard things, but does he have kids???
This is so great!
When I run my next half and even I do I will say “What would Goggins do.?
All my friends are retired and they think I should be too. But life didn’t turn out like I planned so financially I need to still work. It is hard many days!! Esp this job which is often NOT rewarding.
I also deal with a lot of family stuff (my hubby’s family) and it is HARD!!!
Of course, running 13.1 miles is hard and 26.2 even harder. And I sign up for these distances because I believe I can.
So you will finish 50 miles because you believe you can.
Thank you, Darlene! So just remember that when your job or family stuff gets hard, it’s helping you by giving you more willpower to get through those races!
I was supposed to add “and do a FULL” I will say…
I love the line “it wouldn’t create that friction he needs to grow” – that really landed with me. I 100% believe you will run the 50 miles and crush your goal. One of my hopes for this year is sticking with things when they get hard, so that is my hope for myself. Gosh, cooking dinner is one thing but cooking for my kid is a completely different lift hahaha!
Thank you Lindsay! Yes, I’m loving Brichwood’s idea of a reality show where David Goggins has to cook dinner every night for a family with kids, ha ha…
Well, count me in as someone else who believes you can finish a 50 miler! Race day can be challenging but I like to look at it as a celebration of all the hard work you put in to get to that day, and it’s only 50 more miles out of the hundreds you did in training.
Something hard I do that I don’t want to is go to work! I actually do enjoy my job most days but I don’t enjoy actually going into an office to work, the commute and the getting ready, all of it is just really tedious and time-consuming, and I get distracted more easily when I’m in the office with people talking to me and around me. Unfortunately my job isn’t fully remote – we have some flexibility to work from home but not daily. But this week I managed to WFH three times (including today) which is a rare treat that I’m very much enjoying!
I know- it’s not like I hate my job, but most days I do NOT feel like going to work. And I have no WFH option.
Thanks for your encouraging words. You’re right- it’s just 50 more miles. I’ve already run hundreds. I like the idea that the race is a celebration! I will treat it as such.
You’re right, there are many things we COULD do if we wanted to enough. I would like to speak French and play piano, but not enough to do anything at all about it.
When I was really little, we lived on a homestead outside of Fairbanks, Alaska. My 28 year old mom, my 7 year old brother, and 5 year old me. No running water, no phone, no close neighbors, and our heating was a coal burning stove. My mom got REALLY sick (reaction to a new medication) and physically could not get out of bed, no matter how hard she tried. It was winter, and COLD. My brother had to go outside to where the coal was stored and bring it in to keep the heater going. He couldn’t carry much, coal is heavy for a 7 year old. He was frustrated, going in and out and in and out, wishing he could carry more. It was hard. From that experience, though, he learned that he could do hard things, and that he was capable of doing anything he needed to do. (Thankfully a cousin came out to check on us and brought us into town before too many days had gone by.)
Hard things that I have done – helped my daughter through a dangerous bout of anorexia. Dealt with my own rheumatoid arthritis flair. From those I learned, similar to my brother, I learned that I can do hard things, and I am capable of doing whatever is needed.
What do I believe that other people don’t? I’m going to have to stew on that one a bit, I’m not sure.
Wow- most people do NOT have stories like that about their childhood! And you’ve gone through some hard things as an adult as well. But you’re right- when we survive things like that, it gives us confidence that we can do anything we need to.
It’s truly amazing what we are capable of – and I also think it’s fine to NOT do the thing. Could I train and run a 5K and then increase those distances? Yes, I could. But I don’t like running so I’ll stick with my slow walks outside. I was just thinking last night about how brave I was to jump off a cliff in Jamaica right into a waterfall – how did I do that? How did I get the courage to just JUMP?! But I did it and it was amazing! Sometimes we just have to get out of our own way and stop letting fear keep us from doing the things we want to do. You wanted to be an ultrarunner and here you are, running 50 miles in a few weeks and feeling CONFIDENT you’ll get it done. How cool is that?!
I believe YOU can run fifty miles! You’ve put in so much work and dedication and you’re going to be amazing.
I believe that my pets understand everything I say to them. I also think they understand intent. So when I accidentally step on the dog’s tail, she knows I didn’t mean it and forgives me immediately. When I accidentally step on the cat’s tail, she also knows I didn’t mean it, but gets really ticked off about the whole thing and how clumsy humans are and will avoid me for days afterwards. So, I don’t think most people actually think their pets understand English, but I 100% do.
Damn, so this means that when it’s 15 degrees outside and Charlie is just sitting watching a bird in the tree, and I say, “Charlie, go potty FAST! Hurry! It’s cold!” and he just looks at me…. and continues sitting there… it’s NOT that he doesn’t understand me?? He’s just ignoring me…. 😅 Darn. I always thought he truly didn’t understand my words. Hahaha. 😉
He’s still learning English!
I love David Goggins. I have read both of his books and while I may not agree with every single thing he says, I love how he helps people realize most of our limits are in our mind! I am going to listen to that episode.
I love that you channel his mindset during hard things and I know you will during your 50 mile race! Because you know there will be hard moments, hard miles, but you know you can push your body (within reason!) past that limit that is saying “stop, you can’t do this!”
My hard has been not giving up on running. It has been a hard few years but I kept coming back and now am finally in a really good place. I was just thinking about it all this week and proud of myself for not giving up.
I am so excited to hear about your journey on race day regardless of the outcome!
Ha – making dinner every day definitely counts!
I LOVE this, Jenny. I don’t think I ever thought about the role belief has in believing in yourself before, which seems silly to type out but it’s still true for me. I feel such a surge of admiration to read the words that you believe you will run 50 miles. You believe it, and it makes me believe it too — even though I am one of those people who believe I could NOT do it. What a powerful thing, our mindset can be!
In a recent video, a fitness instructor I follow on youtube shared the same study that you reference! It was such a mind-blowing idea to me, that you the things that are hardest are making such an impression on your brain! I tried sharing that insight with my daughter, who was struggling with not wanting to do something she found hard, but she wasn’t quite as impressed by it as I was, lol.
I am just so proud of you for all your fitness goals and accomplishments. It takes A LOT of willpower to do it and it definitely makes your stronger in so many areas of your life.
I think your husband looks so much like Chris North in that picture!
Something I believe that others don’t? I feel like being a Christian is increasingly a fringe stance. Believing in sin and redemption and all that comes with those topics is not the cultural norm anymore (I don’t think? at least not in Canada where I live), so I guess that would be the first personal example that comes to mind?
Friction to grow – that resonates with me. I do believe that working through tough things/situations better equips up for what may lie ahead. I have absolute faith that you will run that 50 miler! For me hard right now is dealing with this nagging hip/quad thing that doesn’t seem to want to quit so I can return to running.
I fully agree that people these days are just so get used to comfort, anything that deviates from that is bad, really bad. I don’t want that. My pursue of running marathons, seeking the dark place when I’m uncertain whether I can keep going, is to fight against the comfort crisis. I truly believe our capacity exceeds our own belief in many ways if we give it a chance. What’s the worst can happen? we fail, which means we will try again next time.
I am really into mental training now to overcome mental barrier during the race. it’s a practice and I want to be prepared for when it comes, which will sure come.
First of all. That scarf. I’m crying.
Second… I grew up in a super tough love house. You suck it up and you push through. I hate being uncomfortable, but I do things anyway, even when it’s probably not the wisest idea.
I think we all have things that are hard for us. It’s how we overcome them that counts.
I laughed out loud at your husband with a tied knot scarf on to run a race!! LOL!!! Wondering… your son seemed happy and care free in the photos of I’ve seen of him- did he get that from your husband? He seems maybe similar?? 🙂
I will check out that podcast! One of my boys has adhd and struggles generally with motivation. And I love your “belief”. That’s perfect! You DO believe that you can run 50 miles (as you should- you’re ready!). And I do not believe that I could at all. Ha. But you’re right about all of it. I ran a full marathon once, and I trained for it within about 6 months from when I first started running: started running, trained for ~8 weeks for a half in May, and by October I did a full. I remember struggling to run even 5 miles, my first “long run”, but yet somehow by October, I ran 26.2 miles without stopping. It’s pretty amazing. I should remind myself of this now- I have been running again but not training or doing anything specific. It’s been fine, but doesn’t really feel “easy” ever, either. Sometimes I think, gosh, I don’t think I could ever run more than 3-4 miles anymore. But I’m sure that’s not really true…. ? (I see SHU’s casual 9-10 mile weekday runs and it blows my mind!) Your post is a good reminder to get out of my head. 🙂
Well, I like to employ my favorite Jess Sims quote whenever things get hard… you don’t have to, but you get to!
The best reminder when I don’t want to do something is that other people are not so lucky to… go for a run, do a hard workout, get out of bed without pain, etc. There’s a shift of perspective that has to happen when it comes to hard things.
I also love the scarf photo of your husband! Too funny! But yes, we can do hard things. Believing in ourselves and trusting that we are capable of more than we think we might be is the first step. Count me in the camp of people that also believe you can run 50 miles!!
I am not familiar with this Goggins person but I am tempted to read his book. What makes him controversial?
Doing hard things is, well, hard. But there’s also something to be said for pushing through and just doing it. Also, belief in yourself makes such a difference. Believe it, do it, then celebrate, for sure.