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Somber Coffee Date

It’s the first Friday of the month, so I’m linking up with Coco and Deborah for the Ultimate Coffee Date!  Sadly, we just received news that my husband’s brother, Charles, died.  I couldn’t just go ahead and write a lighthearted post, but on the other hand I don’t want to make this post too heavy either.  Let me explain…

Charles was an eccentric man, and in later years had become reclusive.  My husband visited him occasionally, but the rest of us never saw him.  When she found out he had passed, my daughter said “Oh no- I was hoping to meet him someday!”  All this is to say, the only person greatly affected by his death is my husband.

Charles was much older than my husband, and was a father figure to him when they were growing up.  The family dynamics are complicated, but any way you look at it, it’s hard to lose a family member.

But life goes on!  While giving my husband all the support he needs, the rest of us are carrying on.  Here’s what I’m looking forward to this weekend:

  1. NOT WORKING.  I always work Saturday mornings, but then have the rest of the weekend off.  Two Sundays ago, I went in to work to pick up a few extra hours.  I really didn’t enjoy that, and vowed I wouldn’t do it again.  But then last Sunday someone really wanted me to come to her house and give her and her daughter a massage.  I couldn’t turn down two private massages, so I did it.  But seriously.  This Sunday I am NOT WORKING.
  2. FOOTBALL!  So much football!  Starting tonight (Thursday) with KC and Mahomes, then the second Baylor game on Saturday afternoon, and continuing Sunday afternoon with the first Dolphins game of the season.  In honor of the occasion I’m going to get out all my football decorations (why are they not out yet???) and make a fun charcuterie board for the Dolphins game.
  3. RUNNING!  I’m continuing with my every third day running schedule, and so far, so good.  Saturday is a running day, woohoo!!!

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

As you can see, I have not fixed my blog issues yet.  It won’t be this way forever! (OR WILL IT?  Just kidding. I’ll fix it soon.)

Top photo by Trishy on Unsplash

More Posts

Reading and Eating

I’ve started Edge of Eternity and we are now in the 1960s!  It’s amazing to me how much I actually don’t know.  Yes- I did know there was a wall in Berlin.  But if you asked me when it was built, I would have said… right after WWII?  No!  It was built in 1961, after the US and USSR threatened war over the Berlin crisis.  This was going on during the Civil Rights protests in the US.  What an incredibly turbulent time!  Needless to say, I’m loving this book. This is the third book in Ken Follett’s Century Trilogy, and in between books 2 and 3 I quickly read this: This was a reread, as all Agatha Christies are for me.  I found it at the used bookstore, flipped through it and didn’t recognize any of the character’s names.  I took that as a good sign, and decided to risk it.  So many times I start an Agatha Christie (I read them all at least thirty years ago) and remember the ending about halfway through. Not this time!  I KNOW I read this one, but I truly couldn’t remember it.  I even tried out different “ingenious” solutions: “The narrator is the murderer!  The priest isn’t really a priest!  Someone is a long-lost son!”  Nope.  The ending was a complete surprise.  I really enjoyed this reread! Eating wise… I’ve continued to pretend that it’s not hot, muggy, and steamy here, and made chili!  I while ago I made Vegan Cincinnati Chili from this website. I was planning to make that again, but when I went to the website, I noticed he also has a recipe for “Texas Chili” which is called Best Damn Vegan Chili Ever.  Well!  I had to try that. It was very good!  I’m not sure I believe the claims that this chili is “award winning.”.  But to be fair, I did leave out two “optional” ingredients, pickled jalapenos and masa harina.  Mayne next time I’ll put those in and see if it wins any awards. I will say that my husband LOVED it!  We ate it for two dinners, and both times he exclaimed over how much he enjoyed it. Chili: Cincinatti, or Texas style? What are you reading now?

Fall Fun

I had a really nice, fall-ish weekend!  When I say “fall-ish,” I don’t mean I visited a pumpkin patch or went apple picking.  No, we don’t have that in Florida- although, I’m pretty sure it’s too early for those things just about everywhere right now.  But those are things that never happen in Florida, so we have to make our own fall. We may not have cool temperatures and falling leaves, but we do have football and homecoming!  Saturday night was our high school homecoming dance, and my daughter went with two of her friends, looking amazing in her new dress.  I got a lot of GREAT comments on my post about the suit vs. dress dilemma, including one from Julie saying that she wore a tux to her prom!  For this dance, my daughter wore a dress- who knows what will happen in the future. I dropped my daughter and her two friends at the dance, and I loved seeing all the kids dressed up.  I also loved that these three girls didn’t feel like they needed dates- they were happy to be going together.  I was excited that it was my daughter’s first high school dance. I was also excited that after the dance, another mom was picking the girls up and bringing them back to her house for a sleepover.  I knew that my daughter would be in good hands and I knew she would have fun- and my job was done for the night. I got home just in time for the start of the Baylor game.  It was gloomy and rainy outside (a typical South Florida evening in September) and my house was so cozy!  We broke out the fall food and beverages. We tried each of the beers: the Oktoberfest was very good; the Pumpking Ale was okay, and the Howling Gourds was terrible.  The only one we actually finished was the Oktoberfest.  It turns out some things just shouldn’t taste like pumpkin, and beer is one of them.  But it was fun to try them all. I LOVE chips and salsa, but don’t normally eat them.  It’s one of those thing I can’t stop eating once I start, so I usually don’t let myself start.  But I made an exception since they were “fall-themed” (holiday foods don’t really count, right???) and I loved them.  The pepita salsa is delicious, and chips are always good.  Plus they looked like fall leaves! We also had this: It was good.  I mean- it was good for a prepared dinner.  Elaborate cooking wasn’t in my plan for this night, so we definitely enjoyed these “heat and serve” enchiladas. We watched Baylor win, and oh yes- I was wearing my new favorite pajamas. After the game, I stayed up late reading, and finally crawled into bed, knowing that there was no work or school tomorrow, and no one would be needing me for anything.  I could sleep as late as I wanted, and didn’t wake up until 9 am.  It felt AMAZING. After a nice slow start to the morning, Sunday got underway.  I picked up my daughter, did the grocery shopping, and started thinking about plans for the week.  I felt a little melancholy that the weekend was coming to an end.  Sometimes everything just comes together perfectly.  I know there will be more fun times this fall, but it’s possible that I’ll look back and say “Yes, that was the best night of the whole season.” Are you starting to think about fall, or are you still in a summer frame of mind? Pumpkin ale- yay, or nay?

Weekly Rundown- Everything is Awesome!

I don’t want to say this injury is behind me, because that would be tempting fate a little too much.  But let’s just say “Everything is Awesome” from The Lego Movie has been running through my head, and life seems good!  I’m linking up as always with Kim and Deborah for this Weekly Rundown.  Here’s how it all played out… Sunday I walked one mile and ran 3. Everything felt good! Monday I did lower body strength at home, including single leg exercises and squats.  One of the (few) things I’m proud of from my work this summer is the progress I made in the one leg sit-to-stand.  It’s one of the foundation exercises on Sally McRae’s app and also one of the hip stability exercises from Brad Beer’s book.  You start sitting on a chair or bench, and stand up using one leg, then sit back down, stand up again, etc. only on one leg.  When I first started I could only do five reps on each leg- now I can do 36 reps!!!  At least something has improved. I also did Caroline Girvan’s deadbug workout..  I’m really tired of it by now! Tuesday I walked 3 miles… … and then did a different core workout!  I did Caroline Girvan’s Standing Abs Workout, and I liked it.  At least, I liked doing something different. Wednesday Again, I walked one mile and ran 3.  Still feeling good! Thursday I did my single leg exercises, and another core workout.  This one Engie recommended, MadFit Standing Core Workout..  I liked this one too!  Then I had time for 20 minutes of walking. At night we watched the Dolphins game, which was a complete fiasco.  We lost, and our quarterback got ANOTHER CONCUSSION.  The poor guy will be out for… ever?  The rest of the season?  I feel really bad for him, and now our season is a shambles after only the second game. Friday Gym day!  It was a very squat-focused workout, because I skipped deadlifts.  My low back is nagging at me again, and deadlifts sadly make it worse.  After squats and Bulgarian split squats I did some core (abs and low back machines.) At night I planned to go to our high school football game, but it rained so much that the band couldn’t play (so I didn’t go.)  They did manage to play in the rain and our team won!  This was our homecoming, and last year’s homecoming was completely rained out.  September outdoor events just shouldn’t be a thing in South Florida. Saturday This was a big day- I walked one mile and ran 4!!!  I’m getting there! At night we watched the Baylor game.  FINALLY.  A game where it didn’t rain, no one got injured, and we WON!  At least the football week ended on a high note. Sunday Off!  Sleeping in and waffles will be involved (obviously.) So, it was a good week.  Moving forward, I’m going to cautiously try running every other day.  Running every third day was great to get me back from this injury, but I can’t do that forever! How was your week?  Were there any moments where you sang “Everything is Awesome?” Top photo by Stainless Images on Unsplash

Friday Coffee Date!

Hey, it’s Friday!  Pour yourself a beverage in your favorite fall mug (wait- you do have one, right?) and join me. Let’s talk about the weekend!  Tonight is another high school football game, and I will be there.  The last two weeks have been away games, so I’ve missed going.  But you know what that means- it’s time for Homecoming!  My daughter decided to go to the dance with a group of friends, and we started thinking about what she would wear.  But let’s back up for a moment… The high school concert band uniform is tuxes for the boys and long black dresses for girls.  When my daughter was a freshman last year, she said she would prefer to wear a tux. Now, I wasn’t entirely opposed to this, but I just preferred that she wear a dress… like all the other girls?  I told her that whatever she decided to do was fine, but there’s a reason boys usually wear suits and girls usually wear dresses.  Girls are more curvy, so dresses flatter them more.  My daughter is very curvy, and I thought a tux would just make her look kind of big all over. She decided to wear the dress, and I thought she looked lovely!  Then I was telling my friend about how well I handled that situation, and she thought I was VERY WRONG.  Why, she asked, did it matter how she looked?  Why did I make that the most important thing? Er- good question.  When it was time for New Year’s, my daughter wanted to wear a suit to the party.  I agreed immediately, and she actually looked kind of cute (not that it mattered!) Later I asked how she liked wearing the suit, and she said “I loved it.  I felt really confident.”  Okay then. Back to Homecoming!  My daughter said she wanted to wear a suit, and we got to work on her outfit (I was tasked with finding her some new pants, which was surprisingly hard.) Then yesterday she went to the mall to help her friend find a dress, and came home with… a dress, which she is now wearing to Homecoming. You guys, I can’t keep up!  Girls are so hard!!!  Boys are so. much. easier. Anyway, while my daughter is at the dance on Saturday night, my husband and I will be watching the Baylor game!  I have a fun fall-themed dinner planned, with some new things to sample from Trader Joe’s. One last thing- I’ve submitted my request for postponement of jury duty.  Weirdly, the request had to be submitted in writing, and by that I mean I had to write a letter and mail it through the U.S. postal service.  When was the last time you did that? I was so confused.  I couldn’t even really remember how to do it.  When I printed out my letter, my husband looked at it and said “You didn’t leave room for your signature.”  Oh yeah- I totally forgot.  Then I had to find an envelope and a stamp, and take it to the mailbox… I mean, don’t we have more modern methods of communication nowadays?  Anyway, I hope it gets there, and I hope I get my postponement (actually, I’m hoping they forget all about me, but if worst comes to worst I’ll take a postponement.) That’s it for this week! When was the last time you mailed a letter?  I don’t mean a greeting card or postcard, but like an official letter?   Do you think I was wrong to encourage my daughter to wear a dress?  How much does appearance matter? What are your plans for the weekend? Top photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

48 Responses

  1. So sorry to hear about your BIL. Even if you were not close, it is hard to see your loved ones (hubby) feeling down! My parents have had three of their neighbors (and close friends) pass away in the last few years and it is rough. They live in a small community and were all close and now there are gaps in their life. It’s hard to watch them suffer.

    I am looking forward to exploring Buffalo! Unfortunately it is supposed to rain this afternoon, but hopefully the morning will be clear enough to get a good walk in! Then I will be in Toronto next, and I’m looking forward to that too!!

    Reply

    1. Ooh, I’ve never been to Buffalo (but it features prominently in the book I’m readying right now, interestingly.) I hope you have fun.
      Yes, having people die is just kind of… depressing, even if they aren’t super close to you. Sigh!

      Reply

  2. Oh Jenny, I’m sorry to hear of your BIL’s passing. I totally agree, losing a family member is always tough, no matter how complicated the relationship is. Hugs to everyone.

    That said, I’m also looking forward to another football-enhanced weekend. Go Hawks!

    Reply

    1. Yes, I read your post! Sounds like you have a fun game tomorrow. I’m going to try to watch it (if it doesn’t conflict with the Baylor game.)

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  3. I’m sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. I have a sister who is odd and also very reclusive. My boys barely know her and we don’t really keep in touch. But like you said, it’s still family.

    Enjoy your free Sunday! I’m looking forward to tucking into some football as well, but first Hype Fest!

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  4. Sorry to hear about your brother-in-law! Sounds like a complex dynamic, but still, as you said, it’s always hard.

    I’m excited for football to be back too! I don’t think I follow to the same level as you, but I definitely try to catch all the Packers games (they kick off tonight in Brazil! Weird, but kinda fun?) I watched a bunch of the KC/Ravens last night- I had it on in bed at the end and fell asleep with like 1-2 minutes left! When I woke up I had to google to see if somehow the Ravens pulled off a last minute TD. Nope. haha.

    Reply

    1. I also couldn’t stay up for the whole game- especially since it was on so late EST. It was a good one!
      I have a love/hate relationship with the Packers. Since I’m from Chicago they’re our rivals… but my grandfather was a huge Packers fan. So, I’ll root for them as long as they’re not playing the Bears. I’ll watch their game tonight (Brazil? Well, okay!)

      Reply

  5. I’m so sorry to hear of your BIL’s passing. It must be hard for your husband, I think it’s especially hard when dynamics are complicated and feelings are complex.
    What am I looking forward to? The girls are coming over this afternoon. The weather is GORGEOUS so we’ll have drinks and snacks and girl chat out on my deck. I love hosting people and a little afternoon get-together feels perfect. Then I’m hoping to watch some of season 2 NYPD Blue! Other than that, everything is as usual – gardening, maybe a bike ride, I don’t know what else. I have a ton of local apples so I’m going to make the guys an apple crisp which I do out of love – I HATE COOKED APPLES. I bought myself a little container of vegan cookie dough ice cream, so I’ll indulge in that as they eat the apple crisp.

    Reply

    1. Thanks Nicole. It’s true- sometimes it’s harder when the relationships aren’t as good as they could have been.
      Sounds like a fun weekend- that apple crisp sounds good! Maybe I’ll make something like that for the family (I also don’t care for cooked apples.) Enjoy your girl time this afternoon!

      Reply

  6. I’m sorry to hear about your brother-in-laws death. It’s always hard to lose a family member. We had a complicated death in November of 2020 when Phil’s brother died. He was 40 so very young. He has mental health and substance abuse problems. It was of course a complicated time in the world since it was peak Covid and I was 9 months pregnant. Yeesh.

    Ok sad topic aside, I am glad running every 3rd day has been going well! It will be nice and fall-like here this weekend then next week it will be in the 80s and even the 90s!! We watched part of the KC game last night. Paul is getting more into football so he watched the first few plays and then we forced him to go to bed which he was NOT happy about!

    Reply

    1. Thanks Lisa- the situation with Phil’s brother does sound very sad. 40 is way too young.
      I know- that game was on way too late. I can see these nighttime football games are going to be a problem with my bedtime. Luckily the Dolphins play on Sunday afternoon this week!

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  7. Sorry to hear about your brother in law! It’s always tough to deal with the loss of a family member even if we weren’t that close to them.

    I am not a football fan (sorry!) but I am looking forward to my run on Saturday as well! I only have a few more longer long runs before I taper for my next race, which is crazy because it feels like I was just tapering for my last race!

    Reply

    1. Yes, it does seem like you were just tapering. But, time flies. What race are you running? Tell me so I can live vicariously (sigh.)

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      1. Canyon de Chelly 55K on the Navajo Nation in northern Arizona! It’s 5 weeks from tomorrow…eek! This is the first time I’ve attempted to do three races so close together, and I signed up for what will hopefully be my first 100K that’s only 3 months after my upcoming race.

        Reply

  9. I’m sorry about your brother-in-law. I wasn’t close with my cousin (by his choice, he wasn’t close to any of our family), but when he died suddenly, it was hard to accept that there was no chance of that changing.

    I am not a football fan, but football starting back means hockey isn’t far behind! Until then, we keep on with the usual things. My favorite part of the weekend is not working, and hopefully a little more sleep.

    Reply

    1. It’s true, it can be harder to lose someone if you feel like things were unresolved.
      Not working and more sleep are two things on my list this weekend!

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  10. I’m really sorry about your BIL; it’s difficult to lose a family member, however complicated family dynamics might have been, and it’s hard to see family members hurting. I hope your husband is doing okay. <3

    I hope you have a good rest of your weekend too — yay for getting Sunday off!

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    1. Thank you Farrah! I think my husband is doing okay, at least for now. I’m sure he’ll have his ups and downs as he navigates this.

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  11. Loss of any kind is hard and complicated family dynamics do make the grieving process a bit murkier, which can be so hard in its own way.
    Yay for football.
    Yay for not working on Sunday.
    Yay the running is going well!

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  13. I’m sorry about your BIL – as you said no matter the circumstances it’s still family.

    I’m so looking forward to all the football this weekend! Glad your running is going well.

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  14. I’m so sorry about your BIL. I’m sure losing a sibling is tough, no matter how close they were or not.
    Now that I’ve got TWO college teams to cheer for I am ALL IN for football. We just finished watching Hard Knocks featuring the Chicago Bears as well.

    Reply

    1. That’s right- you have a new team to cheer for! That’s exciting. I also hear the Bears have a new quarterback- should be a fun season.

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    1. Thank you Engie. Yes, it’s a complicated situation, and I think you know a thing or two about complicated family dynamics.

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  16. I am so sorry for your loss. Even if we were are not close to the person, loss is always unexpectedly difficult. Hugs to you and your family. Hope the weekend off of work is just what you and your family needs

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  17. I’m so sorry for the loss of your BIL. I think it’s even more difficult when the dynamic is complicated. For me, the foreclosure that death presents is one of the toughest things to understand–so I really feel what your daughter said about how she’d hoped to meet her uncle “someday.”

    I’m cautiously celebrating your runs and your free weekend, Jenny. I don’t follow football, but my students told me to cheer for the Ravens yesterday (something, something Chiefs are Taylor Swift?)

    Reply

    1. Ha ha… yes, you definitely don’t follow football (sorry to say, the Ravens lost.)
      And- yes, that comment by my daughter was one of the saddest things anyone said.

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  18. I’m so sorry for your loss, Jenny; my thoughts to your husband. Even when you didn’t know someone closely, it is hard when someone close to you loses someone close to them.

    This weekend, Lil Momma has an audition and then is hitting a birthday party and I hope to catch up on house stuff and get organized for next week. That sounds so lame, so maybe a fun coffee somewhere in all that?

    Reply

  19. I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband’s brother. I’m sure it’s difficult no matter the family dynamics. Sending hugs your way!

    I have so many blog issues going on that I could never judge you. Well, I wouldn’t anyway, but you get my drift.

    Reply

    1. Thanks Debbie! Ugh, blog issues- I have no idea what I’m doing. I need to fix it but I’m afraid I’m going to delete the whole thing accidentally. Sigh!

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  21. Sorry to hear about your BIL.

    Happy to hear that you are running pain-free.

    On the other hand, I am not… hope I can soon. Details on WRD this weekend.

    Reply

  22. So sorry to hear of the loss of your BIL. Hope you enjoy your day off! it’s weird, by the time Saturday rolls around I feel like my weekend is almost over even though it’s just starting because I also have Thurs and Fri off usually.

    Reply

  23. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. Families are complicated sometimes.
    I hope you do have a nice day off and I’m glad you’re running pain free.

    Reply

  25. My condolences on the loss of your BIL. Loss is always hard, even if it’s someone you’re not close with. I hope your husband is doing okay!

    FOOTBALLLLLL! That Dolphins game was frustrating but glad they got it together to get the W!

    Reply

  26. I am so sorry that your husband lost his brother. I can imagine it must be a little strange if nobody really knew him but it still always strange to lose a family member. Is there going to be a memorial service? Was he married?

    Reply

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