You guys. While I was at the gym today I listened to this episode of the Big Ass Runner podcast. This is a podcast I regularly listen to, and this week’s episode was “A Powerful Story of Tragedy and Triumph (with Karen Sparks).” I had no idea what the “tragedy” was- you never know with these things. It could have been something like “I broke my leg but then came back to run a marathon.” But… no.
This woman was married and had two kids, a girl and a boy, ages eight and nine. Her husband turned out to be a fraud and ultimately, a psychopath. She decided to divorce him, took the kids and moved out. But she couldn’t prevent the kids from seeing their father, so she dropped them off with him for a weekend.
Well. I feel like I should somehow ease into this but there’s no way. The guy set their house on fire with himself, both kids, and their two dogs inside… and they all died.
I just can’t stop thinking about this. This actually happened. Those kids…. and this woman had to somehow go on living after that.
In the podcast episode she talks about how she managed to find her way through this- partially from taking up ultrarunning, but she also obviously had massive therapy. At one point she was suicidal and checked herself into a residential treatment facility that specializes in trauma. Now she runs a nonprofit organization that helps women who need this kind of treatment but can’t afford to pay for it.
She sounds incredibly strong, but I’m sure she lives with a tremendous amount of pain. My worst day is probably still better than her best day. It really, really helps put things in perspective, and reminds me to focus on all the good.
Obviously we’re all grateful, every day, that our loved ones are safe and healthy. And that we have a roof over our heads. But there are plenty of little things I’m grateful for as well.
Like… the fact that my daughter can get lunch at school this week. She’s started band camp for marching band, and they had the option to bring a lunch or order lunch from Subway. When I asked her which she wanted, she said, “Well, since we won’t have a kitchen I guess I better get the school lunch.” Good call.
I’m also incredibly happy that our air conditioning is fixed! What if it had gone out this week, while our kitchen is also ripped apart? I guess we’d be staying in a hotel.
I’m also grateful that Publix has vegan subs! I can foresee this being dinner many times over the next week… or two.
And I’m grateful that I have a job… a job that takes me OUT OF THE HOUSE all day. My poor husband has been home dealing with the kitchen, and it’s not fun. Meanwhile I’m at work checking in periodically:
Yep, this kitchen thing is trying. But I can’t really complain when I’ll end up with a new kitchen. It’s just going to take a little longer than we thought- but that’s okay. Patience! All will be well.
What’s a little thing you’re grateful for today?
22 Responses
Oh, my heart goes out to that poor woman! I am grateful for my guy setting the coffee at night so it’s there when we wake up, library book extensions, and the sweet (and sassy) texts my daughter sends me from camp!
Oh, you get texts from camp? Enjoy those- I hardly got any when my daughter was at sleep away camp for a week. And yes- library book extensions are on my list as well!
I think that in this woman’s situation I would have gone full Forest Gump and started running and never stopped.
I’ll write a book if I tell you everything that I’m grateful for right now. Vacation on the beach with the fam…it doesn’t get any better than that.
Well, she does run 100 mile races!
I’m glad to hear you’re in such a good situation! I can’t wait to read about it on your blog.
I’m grateful for shelter. We are having a huge thunderstorm right now and I keep thinking about all the unhoused people I see around our town when I walk Hannah and I don’t know what they’re doing right now. I’m so grateful that I have a lovely house with a working kitchen (sorry!), air conditioning, and it’s keeping me safe.
Grr, yes enjoy that kitchen! I really didn’t realize how disruptive it was going to be- but every time I’m tempted to complain I remember there are people with no homes. So I shut up.
Oh my god! What a tragedy. There is a short story by Alice Munro which is very similar, except the husband just kills the kids and not himself. The thought that this actually happened is so horrific – particularly BY SETTING THE HOUSE ON FIRE, WHAT. Oh god, what a process that woman would have to go through just to get through her days. My heart hurts for her.
Yes, this seems like a horrible story (fiction) that you would read. The fact that it actually happened is sickening. I felt shaky the whole rest of the day after I listened to this. But yes- this woman is incredible.
Good grief. But you’re right, Jenny, that story does change our own perspective.
Patience with your kitchen! It will look beautiful in the end! When will it be finished?
I am grateful for this cool weather. It’s summer in Switzerland, but I was freezing for the first kilometre on my run yesterday. But later on, it felt so good. And the intervals were a lot easier!
I wouldn’t mind being freezing for the first kilometer of a run! About the kitchen… great question. The counter and sink arrive “early next week” (hopefully) and then we need to get the backsplash in. But having a sink will make things a LOT easier!
Oh, I know, I totally cannot even wrap my head around it when I hear of things like that. I think there was a story a long while ago now- not sure where it happened- about a woman whose adult sister took the woman’s 3 daughters (so the sister’s nieces) somewhere (not sure if she was like babysitting them or what) but I think she was somehow impaired/drunk/not sure but she ended up crashing the car and all 3 girls died. And I think the sister survived? I could have this wrong so don’t quote me, but I remember it just being so awful. Like how does this woman continue living after that, AND….it was her sister who did this…. omg. It certainly does put things in perspective doesn’t it.
I like your list of good things. Hope the kitchen remodel goes as smoothly as possible!! We did ours a few summers ago now and it turned into quite the ordeal involving having to fire our contractor mid-project and have someone else come and finish it….ugh…. but this too shall pass….
Oh, that story is also terrible. I mean… it’s unthinkable. A couple time this summer my son drove my daughter somewhere, and I kept thinking… what if… and couldn’t rest easy until they were both safely back home. I know that’s me being paranoid, but I really don’t know how people survive losing their kids.
The kitchen reno continues, and I guess we’re lucky so far that nothing big has gone wrong. It’s taking long enough as it is!
These stories are so tragic but really do give me pause and perspective about my own (TRIVIAL) complaints. What a horrific experience.
All the best with the renovation; you know how I feel about renos, so I am sending you all my empathy! It will pass, but it is stressful and messy and chaotic and expensive and just…not fun.
I’m grateful I made it through our big week of company (13 people for supper last night; 12 people most meals, 10 people sleeping in my house each night). It really drains me as an extrovert, but we had a great time, made lots of special memories, and now I need like a week of vacation – haha.
Also glad our air conditioning is working again. It was a small part – still expensive, but cheaper than if the compressor had gone and we only had to do one night of company at our place before it was working again!!! I’m almost too cold right now which is wonderful after how sweaty we were without AC for a week.
Oh, I’m VERY glad your AC is fixed! I would definitely need a vacation after having 10 people sleep at my house (even the thought of that makes me nervous.) And I know you can empathize with the reno- it’s SO stressful. Especially since we had strangers in the house four days in a row (a handyman and then the men putting together the cabinets.) I’m glad that part is over, at least.
OMG. That poor woman. I don’t know how I would go on. Makes me sick to even think about it. :…..( I think losing a child is the worst thing to experience – and then to lose both at the same time in such a tragic way? Unreal.
Oh man the kitchen Reno sounds rough!! Is Paul still around too or has he gone back to school? Kitchen Renos are the worst! I have never gone through one but know people who have. But having an updated kitchen will be amazing and worth the hassle in the end.
Ha, yes Paul is still here and it’s REALLY hard to keep him fed now! i have to keep reminding myself how amazing it will be when it’s done.
And… I know. That is just about the most tragic thing I can imagine. That woman is incredible for managing to carry on.
Wow, that’s a … story. I am sometimes really ignorant of all the things that happen in the world every day and that are so hard to comprehend. We should really be grateful if we’re just dealing with a kitchen reno. LOL (those texts with your husband are so funny).
Yes, every time I want to complain about the kitchen I have to remind myself how lucky I actually am. There are worse things than not having a sink, temporarily.
That story is horrifying. OMG. I have a lot of anxiety surrounding tragedies like this because, even though they are rare, they DO happen and I just don’t know how people keep going on.
I am grateful for my best friend, kisses from Chip and Lucy, and the genius that is the Barbie movie lol.
Ha ha, I haven’t seen the movie yet! Yes, these things are rare but they do happen, and it’s horrifying. That woman must wake up with nightmares still.
I believe I read a Runner’s World article about this mom, back when I got the magazine. It’s horrific and tragic and quite frankly terrifying. To think that such evil (I think only a truly evil person could do what her ex did…) exists. Oh, my.
Hoping the kitchen is back up and running soon!
Yes, there was an article about her in Runner’s World several years ago.
The kitchen is now functional- but not finished. We’re still working on it!