In my last post, I shared my frustrations with my foot. After eight shockwave treatments and new orthotics, it’s still painful to get out of bed in the morning, and limits the speed and distance of my runs. I’m trying hard to put everything in perspective. I imagine myself saying to a Ukrainian refugee, “My foot hurts! Well, it doesn’t hurt all the time, just sometimes, and I can’t run more than five miles at a time. I mean, what kind of life is that?”
Don’t. Be. Ridiculous.
But acceptance is a tricky thing. On the one hand, this is really not okay. It’s not okay that I’ve been dealing with this for ALMOST TWO YEARS, spent thousands of dollars, and still am not really positive of the diagnosis. But… this is where I am right now. To fight against it would be like ranting and raving about the fact that the grass is green.
Thanks to Nicole, I’ve been reading a chapter of Wake Up to the Joy of You: 52 Meditations and Practices for a Calmer, Happier Life every week. This week’s chapter was “Allow Your Timing.” The chapter starts with a quote from A.A.Milne:
Rivers know this: there is no hurry.
We shall get there some day.
Ah, perfect! Funny how, when you’re on the lookout for it, the right thing seems to come to you. In the guided meditation part of this chapter- (by the way, I never actually do the guided meditations. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to do a guided meditation from a book- have someone read it to you? I just read it to myself and think it over) – there is this:
“Bring your heart present in this moment and accept that at this moment, things are perfect just the way they are. Take your time and do everything you do, but slow down in such a way that you relish and cherish everything that is going on in your life.”
So what is there to cherish right now? SO MUCH! To start with… running.
Believe me, I know the difference between being able to run a little and not being able to run at all. I’ve had some long layoffs due to injury, and it’s a whole different life.
Not only can I run, but I live in Florida where it’s sunny almost every day. I grew up in the midwest and I can remember those dark winters.
My family is healthy. My son is home right now, but when he goes back to school I know he’s returning to a school he loves. How lucky is that? My daughter has her challenges- as do all thirteen-year-old girls!- but she gets good grades and enjoys school. Most likely there will be some rocky times ahead with one or both kids- why not enjoy this moment where both kids are happy?
Don’t get me wrong- I’m no Zen master. I’ve fought against this- ran too far, gotten angry, sworn, and last week I briefly entertained the fantasy of strangling my doctor. But I’m trying. I try to remind myself- like the river, my foot and I will get there someday.
What was your worst injury? This is definitely my longest, but it’s hard to call it the “worst” because I’ve been able to run through it (for the most part.)
What are you cherishing in your life right now?
28 Responses
Acceptance is extremely hard. I know about foot issues, believe me. I though the pain would never go away and I had to accept that a painful run or race was better than no run or race. Not sure I really believed that.
I hope your pain goes away. I hope mine stays away. We do not have a crystal ball.
My neuroma was my longest 1 1/2 years and bunion (on the other foot) has bothered me on and off for 10 yeas or more) . Ankle surgery and no running for FIVE months was my worst.
I survived. My family is healthy. I have good friends. I have a job so I can pay my bills. I can run (even if it’s not fast anymore). Those are the things I am cherishing.
Thanks for the reminder.
Yes, you’ve got a lot to cherish! No one’s life is perfect, but it makes it a lot more pleasant to focus on the good things.
I had a bum knee for over a year (I was doing a wall-sitting challenge with a friend for over a month and somehow ended up messing up one knee in a major way – it was only horrible when I put it in certain positions but in those positions – like getting up off the floor from seated with the kids – would make me nearly pass out). It took about a year to properly heal. I have never done another wall sit since!
Cherishing? My family? Freedom. Quiet (the kids are currently out of the house to school and after so many snow days, the quiet is so, so precious). Lots to cherish! That doesn’t mean I don’t talk about the hard – it’s necessary and healthy, but I try to keep perspective and consider that good and bad can co-exist.
A great post, Jenny (as always!!).
Thank you so much, Elisabeth. The thing I hate about injuries like that is it makes you feel so old! It must be such a relief now to be able to move the way you want. And, injuries like that are so frustrating- there you were trying to do something healthy, and it must have felt like you were punished for it. Glad everything is okay now!
I love that A.A. Milne quote!
My worst injury was Achilles tendonitis and it costed me a year of running (2019). I thought I would never get back to running! Even now, when I see photos of that year I always remember “oh, yes, that was the year I couldn’t run”.
Right now, I cherish the sunny weather, having the time for long runs and having a husband who understands my passion.
Did you get your orthotics while healing from that injury? I’m sorry you had that injury, but I love stories like that- it must have seemed hopeless at the time, but here you are running again, as much as you want to. Inspiring!
Yes! The orthotics were key for me. I think I need a follow up appointment this summer to get new ones.
You’ll soon be back in full force!
I think one reason I tried to ramp up my mileage too fast was I was thinking the orthotics were going to be a miracle cure. Nope, no miracles! Just sloooow progress.
This is such a glass-half-full post, Jenny 😉 Unfortunately, I think most of us need top go through a difficult time (whether it’s a physical or emotional one) to appreciate the ‘non-difficult’ times. Case in point, when I had my knee surgery (summer of 2017), I was forbidden from running for at least three months, but I was allowed to walk. So I walked, a lot. Everyday. And, most evenings after work. I still got to experience the early mornings and the sunrises, and I was eventually allowed to resume running. What frustrated me, though, was listening to others complain about “running” in the heat of summer. Oh, how I would have gladly traded places with them! Even though I can tolerate the heat better than some, I have not once complained about running in it since that injury. The cold of Winter, though…well, that’s a different story, LOL.
Oh yes Kim, I know EXACTLY what you mean. A different time when I was injured, my husband complained because it started to rain while he was running. It’s lucky we’re still married after that!
When I broke my leg, it had to be elevated 23 hours a day for almost five months. It was terrible and even now ten years later, when I don’t want to do something physical, I remind myself how lucky I am to be able to do physical activity. It was a wake-up call for me on how much I took my physical health for granted. I hope that someday your injury will also be something that’s just in the past for you!
My husband is out of town for the next few days on a work trip and it’s the first time either one of us has traveled since 2020. I’m really cherishing time alone in the house with the cat and dog!
WHAT? That’s terrible! At some point I still want to hear the full story of this injury. I can’t even imagine what happened that your leg broke that badly. Yes- something like that will really help you appreciate regular life again!
Enjoy your time with the fur babies- it sounds nice.
You know what? I wish the story was sexy, but I was carrying a lot of weight (a full backpack with lots of heavy books, a thermos of tea, and a Diet Coke) and slipped on some black ice and fell. That’s the whole story. It was a very gnarly tib-fib fracture, but I had this accident in Rochester, Minnesota, so I was immediately taken to the Mayo Clinic where the #4 orthopedic surgeon in the country (hi, Dr. Cass!) just happened to be on call. Surgery went well. I have three plates and a dozen screws in there, was bedbound for about five months, but then immediately started walking and cycling once I got the go-ahead. It was a terrible injury, but I was SO LUCKY to be where I was geographically.
There are a lot of crazy details I’m leaving out, including this happened to be while I was going to work to tutor the son of a neurosurgeon at Mayo and the dean of the nursing program at UM-Rochester and fell in their driveway; I got paid workers comp for this accident; I had to do several phone interviews with lawyers while I was still very heavily medicated on oxycodone; and it happened on a Sunday while I had our only car and my husband was an hour away and he couldn’t find a rental car and none of his colleagues were answering his phone calls. Those details add flair to what boils down to the very boring story of a slip and fall on the ice.
Oh, that’s horrible! I’ve heard of other people having terrible injuries simply from falling on the ice. Obviously we don’t have it down here, but I can see why people are so cautious about running in those conditions. You must be afraid to go outside when it’s icy!
I have been relatively lucky. Yes, I have injuries that hurt — sometimes a lot — but I’ve pretty much always been able to run through them.
When we look for it, even in the darkest times there is light and it’s usually those dark times that make us grow, too.
However, your injury has definitely hung around far too long! I hope that you will be running pain free one of these days.
Thank you Judy! It is true- challenges help us grow.
I always appreciate your way to see the positive in every situation. I definitely struggle with this. I have had some running injuries which kept me out for months and I was so miserable. With everything else going on in the world, it can seem silly to focus on our little annoyances. Having said that, 2 years is a really long time to deal with an injury I would be beside myself at this point
I know- running injuries make us so miserable, but then we feel guilty because running is a luxury not everyone has to begin with. It’s hard.
I love that book so much, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it too. I felt like every week was a really great opportunity for growth. I’m reading her new book Speaking With Spirit and it is just as wonderful.
My worst injury was May 2019, exactly three days before my very first road race. It was a pretty severe hip injury and it took months before I was able to walk without a limp. But, I grew from it, and I never take my body for granted anymore.
Yes, looking back (not at the time) injuries can be a positive thing. And, I’m loving the book! Every Monday I get excited to read the next chapter.
Hopped over from a mutual friend’s blog (Christine) and thought I would say hello! Nice place you have here. I’m always looking for ways to clam down and deal with anxiety and such. This book and getting outside sound like great ideas!
Thank you Jennifer! I just looked at your blog and will have to go back to delve in deeper. I used to follow all sorts of vegan blogs but have gotten away from it lately- but yours is new to me and I need inspiration! Thanks for stopping by.
Love this post. It’s so easy to go to that dark place but it really helps to step back, accept a situation and see the positive around us – today, I’m cherishing my children too – I’m so proud of them. They turn 10 and 8 in April and May and they have been such troopers during this whole pandemic – so well behaved, polite and kind. I’m also cherishing my husband, sister and dad who really provide the best support to me whenever I need it.
Your kids sound amazing- I wish I could describe my kids that way (just kidding… sort of…) We’re lucky we have our families!
I love the optimism in this post, even though you’re dealing with a very frustrating injury. I have a chronic broken ankle. Essentially, I’m walking around on a broken ankle (it’s just the ligament that’s broken, not an actual bone, lol) 24/7 but it usually doesn’t hurt unless I walk on it for too long or fall and twist it. I would need surgery to repair the ligament but since it doesn’t cause me any pain unless I really hurt it, I’ve opted out of that. The last time I hurt it badly was at the end of 2019 when I missed a step when I was walking downstairs, fell, and landed awkwardly on my ankle, which caused the injury to swell. After a few weeks of ice + a splint, it was fine. Just this weird injury I always have to be aware of!
Right now, I’m cherishing the nice weather, good times with friends, and Easter candy 🙂
OUCH. Your ankle situation sounds potentially painful. It’s true that ligaments can take a long, long time to heal- if it was a bone it would have healed up long ago. Well, glad it doesn’t usually bother you.
Ha, it is the season for Easter candy, isn’t it?
The state of the world has gotten me down recently, so I can really appreciate this post as I have been trying to focus on being thankful for all the things I have and that are good in my life.
It doesn’t always work and everyone has the right to complain and lament about things that are not going so well in one’s life right now, but it’s also healthy to put things in perspective every once in a while.
I’ve been very lucky that I haven’t had any serious injuries to speak of.
You are very lucky! I guess if you get down about what’s going on in the world, at least you can think “But I’m lucky I’m not injured.” 🙂