Here we are in sunny, beautiful Tampa! We love the view from our hotel room:
and here’s the walk from our hotel to the convention center:
We couldn’t have asked for better weather. We woke up to 52 degrees and the temperature reached 76 by the afternoon. And sunny, sunny, sunny. My favorite kind of Florida day!
The reason for our visit is the FMEA (Florida Music Educators Association) Conference, which is professional development for music educators and All-State ensemble concerts for students. My husband attends every year as a music educator, and my son went to All-State five years in a row as a student (although his senior year ended up being virtual due to Covid.) This year, my daughter made the middle school All-State band and our entire family is attending together for the first time.
This morning the students had chair placement auditions, and then were free until their afternoon rehearsal. I hung out to supervise my daughter and two of her friends and then took them to lunch. The auditions were crowded and chaotic…. the restaurant was a mob scene…. and tonight we’re meeting friends for dinner. With four free hours in the afternoon, my son asked if I wanted to come to the exhibition hall with him. Um… no, thanks.
I realized that if I want to be able to carry on a coherent conversation at dinner tonight, I need time to myself to recharge. Instead of seeing the sights of Tampa, attending the conference or sitting in on rehearsals, I’m sitting at…. a Starbucks.
Some people might say “but you could go to a Starbucks at home!” Yes, but my Starbucks at home doesn’t have this view from the window.
(Random side note- my only complaint is that this Starbucks is playing CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Don’t they know that it’s officially over? I’ve moved on and they should too.)
Seriously, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now. And tomorrow I have an exciting trail run planned.
My biggest fear is that I’ll mention it to someone and they’ll want to come with me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? All I want is to be running on a trail by myself.
It’s hard to be an introvert. I really have to gear myself up for social situations, and get overwhelmed quickly. But I think life can be hard for extreme extroverts as well. My daughter is an extrovert, and she gets very, very bored if she’s alone. She’ll choose any type of activity with any group of people at any time, rather than be home alone. I imagine as she gets older she’ll have to find some balance, although as an introvert I don’t really know what that will mean for her.
My son considers himself and ambivert. Lucky him! He enjoys being around people and making new friends but also loves being at home. It’s funny how people in the same family who presumably share genes can be so different.
How about you- are you and introvert or extrovert? Are you extreme in either direction? Is it hard to coordinate with family members who have a different tendency than you?
Okay, I’m off to meet our friends for dinner. I think I’m ready!
27 Responses
Oh, I am a huge introvert. I might as well officially change my name. I also think I’ve become MORE introverted since having kids. Parenting is tiring and being a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom for a decade has drained my energy reserves. Plus, there is rarely a moment alone when raising young kids, so it’s almost like I have to live like an extrovert at home, especially since both my KIDS are extroverts (so they want to be engaged, be adventuring, be with friends – which often means I’m hosting playdates at our house).
Things are changing as my kids grow up. While I don’t crave being around people (how bad does that sound?!), I definitely enjoy time with friends, but mostly only if it’s one-on-one.
The funny thing is, a lot of people *think* I’m an extrovert. I tend to be fairly animated in conversation and try to engage with people when I’m in a group setting. But I find it all exhausting. It’s not an “act” but it is a lot of work for me. Coming home from a birthday party for a friend or a networking event and I feel like I need to sleep for a week to recover.
Also, Christmas music in January would drive me crazy! “I’ve moved on and they should too” – haha.
I just re-read my comment and I’m awake 2 hours early and haven’t had caffeine. By officially changing my name, I meant I should change it from Elisabeth to Introvert. It is such a defining characteristic of my personality – at least as I perceive things, even if other people don’t think I’m introverted.
If someone were to ask me what one thing do you crave most? My answer at this stage of life would always be: time alone. (And I mean ALONE, alone. Like at my house – or favourite cafe – completely alone). That’s why I have a tendency to stay up too late: after everyone else is asleep = ALONE TIME.
I definitely know what you mean when you say it’s hard to be an introvert with kids- I remember when I had the realization that as a mom, I would be around people ALL THE TIME. Even if it’s your own kids, it’s still people you have to interact with. And, I know- I love staying up late after everyone is in bed. But that’s what gets me in trouble, sleep-wise.
Team Introvert! I love being around people as long as I have a good stash of time to myself to recharge.
Enjoy every minute of Tampa! Sounds like a fun week.
Tampa is really a beautiful city, and I’m loving it. I think introverts outnumber extroverts in general- there are more of us than them!
I heard the term extroverted introvert, and that’s me, 100%. I love being around people, I love parties, I love being a part of groups, but I definitely need time to myself to recharge. The pandemic has made me even more so this way – I really treasure the time I get to spend with people! But then I need a couple of hours to just read quietly.
Maybe you’re an “ambivert” like my son!
I completely understand ALL of this. I am a total introvert slash hermit and social situations (and work situations are inherently social!) wear me out. It’s not just the actual encounter, either, it’s all the stress and anticipation and planning and worrying leading up to it. I used to travel for work, and we would have big conferences, and it was SO EXHAUSTING. So I get it and I think you are very smart to find these small pockets of time to yourself. The trail run sounds especially smart, because it will be you alone but also with nature, which is so restorative.
Omg the trail run was amazing! Definitely what I needed. If you use to travel to work to big conferences, I feel for you- that is absolutely exhausting.
I’m like Nicole and am also an outgoing introvert. But I really really really need time to recharge after a lot of socialization. But people often think I am an extrovert because I’m outgoing and have a lot of social plans. But I get exhausted easily and really like down time. So I kind of like how traveling with little kids forces downtime for their naps/quiet time. I am happy to read my book while the toddler naps. And I would want to do that trail run by myself, too, so I could listen to podcasts and not stress over whether I am running at their pace.
The views from your hotel room are gorgeous! I am glad you are giving yourself permission to sit in a Starbucks and “refill your cup” as I like to say. It’s important to do that instead of “shoulding all over ourselves” as Carrie Bradshaw of SATC would say. Part of me felt a little guilty that we did basically nothing on our Mexico trip. Like I wonder if someone read my blog and thought – gosh these people are boring, they sat on the beach/by the pool and didn’t leave the resort? But that was the style of trip that we needed because we are so exhausted in this stage of life. I did not want to come back from my vacation more tired than I was when I left! But even when I had more adventurous trips, like going to Spain in 2016 with a friend, we still built in some downtime during the day to recharge our batteries.
See, I thought your Mexico trip sounded amazing. One of my dreams is to have an uninterrupted stretch of time to just read- I have a stack of books waiting for me!
I love that you built in time for the alone time you need to navigate all the peopley activities! That’s something I’m working on as the introvert living with 2 extroverts – it’s ok to need some quiet time or skip an activity to recharge. The views are beautiful – have a great time!
I’m so impressed at how you’ve made time for the breaks you need! I’m working on that living with 2 social beings; it’s ok to skip an activity or add in downtime between all the peopley stuff to recharge. The views are beautiful – enjoy!!
That’s the good thing about getting older- I think I understand myself better and know what I need.
You probably guessed that I am not an introvert at all. I thrive in groups for sure. Enjoy your getaway and your trail run. That sounds like great weather with a cool morning. I am going to be in Miami in a few weeks and I am already panicking about running in the heat there 🙂
Deborah, you might get lucky and get some cool weather! And yes, you do seem like an extrovert, although I know other people who seem like extroverts from the outside but actually consider themselves introverts- so you never know.
I’m so behind on reading blogs! What a LOVELY view and I’m so excited that you got a chance to get away even if it does require supervising teenagers!
I’m a bit of an ambivert. I enjoy being around people, but if a group is larger than six or eight people, it can be overwhelming for my sensory issues. I also really enjoy being by myself (ahem, with my dog and cat). I have always considered myself an introvert, but based on some comments people have left on my blog, I’m starting to reevaluate. I’m not worried about talking to librarians, I don’t stress out too much about meeting new people, I don’t mind public speaking, and I am not always ready for bed immediately after a lunch date with a friend, so I think I need to reassess!
Yes, that’s interesting- maybe you’re not as introverted as you thought.
So fun you got to go to Tampa with the whole fam! But I definitely feel you on the “social” part… I’ve always been quite happy just by myself (I think that’s why I am a happy solo runner) and while I like being around people, social situations where I don’t know a lot of people “drain me”… if it’s with people that I am really comfortable with, it’s a different story.
I hope you got to go on your solo trail run 🙂
As you now know, I did get that solo run and it was perfect.
Definitely introvert! I like one on one time or small groups of friends but big groups where I have to talk to strangers still freak me out.
If I’m in a big group where I have to talk to strangers I can do it, but the effort required exhausts me.
I am also an introvert. But for years I thought I am an extrovert because I was behaving like one. Until my burnout. Then I realized I actually don’t like it and it is not healthy. However, there are times I am enjoy the tussle and bustle of being in a group. But I need at least two days to recharge. So introvert but not on. the extreme side….
Congrats to your daughter for making Allstars. What a fun trip to take with everyone.
Yes, it definitely sounds like you’re an introvert. You can be an introvert and still like people!
From one introvert to another… I get you and this post COMPLETELY! Before any social event (even work when there are lots of people involved), I’m in an absolute state. I have learnt to fake it (until I make it, LOL) so I don’t think anyone would understand what goes on beforehand and in the moment I do have fun! My husband is still surprised after all these years that I seem completely okay and genuinely happy in the actual setting because he sees the before picture! My daughter – a “quiet” extrovert – actually maybe she’s like you son an ambivert. My boy — more like me at least at this age.
I’m of the opinion that it’s very rare to be an ambivert, but that a lot of people get things mixed up. Like, introverts do like being around people and I can be very outgoing in groups of people I know very well. Introverts also NEED to be around people just like extroverts do – we also get recharged by being around people. It’s just that it drains our energy much, much faster than it does for extroverts. Likewise, extroverts need their alone time and it’s very important for them to understand that! My friend Bri who is the most extroverted person I know also really values her alone time and NEEDS IT. It doesn’t mean she’s an ambivert – it just means she’s a HUMAN who cannot be around people 24/7. For me, while I love my alone time, too much of it can make me cranky. I need to be around people at least a few times a week!
Anyway, I’m glad you were able to get away for some alone time while in Tampa! And I hope you’re able to come back soon so we can meet up. <3
That’s funny, because when I was talking about this subject with my family, and I mentioned that my son is an “ambivert” my daughter rolled her eyes and said “people who call themselves an ambivert are just trying to be quirky.” Ha ha… maybe she’s right.