Change Your Body… Change Your Life?
I’m currently reading The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling. I’m going to talk more about the book in a future post, but as I was reading yesterday one passage leapt out at me: (side note- this book is not about body image at all- this is just a little side rumination of Tessa’s as she’s flipping through a magazine.) “She read the captions to a series of photographs showing a footballer’s wife in all the different outfits she had worn over the previous five days. Studying the woman’s long thin legs, Tessa wondered how different her life would have been if she had had legs like that. She could not help but suspect that it would have been almost entirely different. Tessa’s legs were thick, shapeless and short; she would have hidden them perpetually in boots, only it was difficult to find many that would zip up over her calves. She remembered telling a sturdy little girl in guidance that looks did not matter, that personality was much more important. What rubbish we tell children, thought Tessa, turning the page of her magazine.” Your first thought might be, “Don’t be ridiculous! The shape of your legs can’t change your whole life.” But let’s think about that. The woman in the magazine article wouldn’t be there- and wouldn’t have the career that she does- if her legs were “thick, shapeless and short” like Tesssa’s. Wouldn’t it follow that Tessa’s life would also be different if her legs were long and lean? Let’s rewind to my 11-year-old self. I developed early and was tall for my age. I wasn’t overweight, but I was curvier than most girls, and I was taller than most of the boys. I felt big and awkward, and was uncomfortable with my body. Furthermore, although I was tall, I had a long torso and shorter legs. I admired the girls who had long, skinny legs, and what I didn’t understand was, that was a body type they were born with, just as I was born with my longer torso. I thought that through diet and exercise I could mold my body into the shape I wanted. From sixth grade on, I alternated with starving myself and then binge eating (when my body demanded some nutrition) while obsessively doing Jane Fonda workouts. Leg lifts! Glute bridges! Crunches! If I worked hard enough, I could have a body like Jane’s… right? I didn’t yet understand that the basic body shape you’re born with is permanent. You can definitely make the most of it, but you can’t remodel it into someone else’s body. I was well into adulthood before I finally understood that. I remember a conversation I had with my boyfriend when I was in my mid-twenties. He asked me what I would want if I could have any one wish granted, and my reply was “a perfect body.” He said, “Really? What about world peace?” I replied “Ummm… no, I’ll take a perfect body.” Yes, I actually said that. We laughed about it, and of course I hope that if I were actually presented with those two options, I would choose world peace (although we’ll never really know, will we???) Why in the world was the shape of my body so important to me? I was healthy, I was running, I wasn’t in pain. For some reason the way my body looked was more important than what it could do. Fast forward to present day. My thirteen-year-old daughter is grappling with her own issue, which, ironically, is that she thinks she’s too SHORT. I ended up at 5’7″, my husband and son are both 6″5″, but my daughter apparently got some rogue gene, because she’s 5’1″ and unlikely to grow much taller. (Oh, how I would have loved to be 5’1″ in middle school!) I’ve explained to her that everyone has their own unique shape, and we all have to make the most of what we have. And I told her something that she probably doesn’t believe right now- that there will come a time in her life when she won’t care how tall she is. At some point, it just doesn’t matter anymore. All those things I was so unhappy about for so many years are things I never think about anymore. So it all has a happy ending… but what about the original question. What if I had been blessed with a “perfect” body- average height, long legs, flat stomach- all those things I longed for. Would my entire life have been different? Possibly. Who knows what interests and hobbies I might have had if I hadn’t wasted so much time thinking about food, weight, and exercise? I might have had more self confidence and related to people in a different way. I might have a completely different career. Or, if I hadn’t obsessed over my body, maybe I would have obsessed over something else, like the shape of my nose, or the color of my hair. If I hadn’t been so focused on exercise I might not have started running! My life probably would have been different… but not necessarily better. What about you? Did you (or do you now) have body issues? Has it ever seemed that the way your body looks is way too important? Do you think your life would have been different if you had a different body? I’m linking up with Jenn, Darlene, Michelle, Renee and Zenaida for Fit Five Friday- thanks for hosting, ladies!
Spectating the Boston Marathon in Style
It’s been a while since I’ve actually run a marathon, but I’ve perfected the art of watching them on TV. Here’s how I spent Marathon Monday this year… First off, several weeks ago I requested the day off work. My work schedule isn’t really flexible, but I can get days off here and there. In this case, I arranged to go in on another day to make up the hours. Very important: when requesting the day off to watch the Boston Marathon, do NOT tell anyone this is why you’re taking off. Most people can’t fathom why in the world you would want to sit and just watch people run for hours and hours. (Non-runners… sheesh!) I woke up early as usual and went for a run. I listened to this Running Rogue podcast, “All Things Boston Marathon.” Chris talked about the elite men’s and women’s fields, top Americans, and also gave advice to people who would be running. Fun podcast to listen to on Marathon Monday! After my run I whisked my daughter off to school, showered, and prepared my breakfast. In honor of the day I took out my runner girl mug. At 8:30 television coverage started. I had my oatmeal, my tea, my phone, and my laptop. I had the B.A.A. app on my phone so I could track specific runners, and my laptop ready in case I needed to quickly google the weather in Boston, or the name of a runner I’m not familiar with. It was like a little Boston Marathon headquarters. This year was the 50th anniversary of the first Boston Marathon where women were officially allowed to run. It was in 1966 that Roberta Gibb famously and unofficially ran the race, the first woman to do so. Why in the world did it take six more years for women to be official participants? This year a 75-year-old woman named Valerie Rogosheske ran. She was one of the original eight women who ran the 1972 Boston Marathon. NBC had a nice story about her- she said when she was 25 years old she wanted to run the Boston Marathon. She had heard stories of women hiding in the bushes and jumping into the race illegally and figured that’s what she would do. But then that year, in 1972, women were allowed to compete officially. She said that because of all the work Roberta Gibb, Katherine Switzer and other women had done to pave the way, “all I had to do was show up.” All eight of the women who ran in 1972 finished the race. This year, Valerie ran with 14,000 other women, two of whom were her daughters . It doesn’t get any better than that! Luckily NBC celebrated this 50 year anniversary by covering the women’s race well (because there have been times in the past where their coverage was horrendous.). It helped that the two top females battled it out to the very end- Peres Jepchirchir finished four seconds ahead of Ababel Yeshaneh. Yep, it was a big day for the Kenyans and Ethiopians! Three Americans were able to hang in there to finish in the top ten (Scott Fauble, Elkanah Kibet, and Nell Rojas.) The three bloggers I was tracking all finished well- yay Janae! Yay Jessie! Yay Elizabeth! I’m looking forward to the race recaps. And I had a real life friend who ran and finished- yay Karola! I really enjoyed watching and tracking. I’m sad Marathon Monday is over! As you can see, I make the most of my marathon spectating. Can’t wait for next year! Did you watch the marathon? Or are you one of those people who don’t see the excitement in watching people run for over two hours?- My kids think I’m completely insane.
Weekly Rundown-The Long Week
Did anyone else feel like this week was extra long, or is it only me? It wasn’t a bad week-it just felt like I was moving in slow motion. I’m linking up as always with Kim and Deborah for this weekly rundown. Let’s see how it went! Sunday Trail run! I decided to run a little further than I have been lately, so I went six miles. The weather was beautiful and I just wanted to enjoy myself. This run made me feel so good. And it didn’t seem to affect my foot one way or the other. Which is to say that it still hurts. But it doesn’t always hurt- sometimes it feels pretty good. And sometimes it feels horrible. Screw it! I’m done. I’m just going to start running more and see what happens. Monday The only thing I did this day was a 10 minute core class. I’m continuing to rotate through Ben Alldis’s core classes on Peloton. I’ve done almost all of them, and when that happens I’ll probably just start all over again. Tuesday 3 mile run! And another 10 minute core class. Wednesday I felt like my week got off to a light start, strength-wise, so today I tried to make up for it. I did a 20 minute lower body strength and then a 10 minute core class with Ben Alldis (obviously) and then pull-ups (assisted, with a band. Maybe in ten years or so if I keep this up I’ll be able to do one unassisted pull-up!) Later in the day I did Denis Morton’s Soul yoga flow class. Thursday Another 3 mile run and 10 minute core class. I was treated to a beautiful sunrise on this run! Weird question- does anyone else get a really sore neck while doing core classes? Whenever there’s a move where I’m on my back and lifting my head off the ground, I really feel like I’m straining my neck muscles. The muscles in my neck tire much quicker than my core. Does anyone else have this? I do have a pretty long neck- does that make it harder to hold my head up? Are my neck muscles just super weak? Why would they be that weak? What’s going on here? Friday Another 20 minute lower body strength and 10 minute core class with Ben. I meant to do pull-ups after work, but ended up taking an extra-long nap instead (oops.) My neck needed the extra rest. Just kidding. Saturday I really wanted to do another trail run this week, but I also wanted to be home with my daughter on Easter. My husband is working and my son is at school, so I wasn’t going to leave my daughter alone to go out running around on trails. I work on Saturday mornings so it’s not feasible to do a trail run- I’m not getting out there in the dark with the wild pigs! I just ran five miles on my usual route. Sunday Happy Easter! By now, you know I’m the type of person who still gives my kids Easter baskets. My son got his in the mail (well, it was an Easter BOX) but my daughter still wakes up and has to hunt for hers. It’s come to my attention that I only did yoga ONCE this week, and I also only did pull-ups once- so both of those will probably happen at some point in the day. And… I’m playing hooky from work tomorrow (kind of- I’m going in on a different day to make up the hours) so I can watch the Boston Marathon! I can’t wait! How’s your weather this week? –I remember growing up (near Chicago) we sometimes had snow on Easter! Are you going to watch the Boston Marathon?
The Thief of Joy
By now, we all know we shouldn’t compare ourselves to people we read about on social media. We know that blogs, instagram and facebook are opportunities for people to present only their best side to the world. The truth is, even when we’re being open and vulnerable, there are still things we’re leaving out. I try to be completely honest on my blog, but I’m still presenting a certain image of myself. Knowing this, why would I compare my life to the polished-up life someone is sharing on social media? But I’ve done it. I’ve wondered why I’m not reading that many books, or running that many miles, or crushing my strength training. For that matter, why am I not doing volunteer work, hiking with my family, going on fabulous trips, or running a marathon in every state? I love Jessie’s blog, The Right Fits. She’s a Minnesota runner on a quest to run a marathon in every state and on every continent. She runs 60-plus miles a week; her husband is also a runner; they have no kids, and they travel frequently for fun and, of course, to run marathons together. Obviously I wouldn’t give up my kids for anything, but in my other, fantasy life (I’m not the only one who has one of those, am I?) I’m Jessie- running lots of miles, with the freedom to travel and do pretty much whatever I want. But THEN… One day Jessie shared a post about the time she broke her leg, three weeks before she was supposed to run the Antarctica Marathon. She was on crutches, had to have surgery, and couldn’t run for seventeen weeks. It was truly terrible for her, and I appreciate her opening up about it like that. When I read it I realized, her life isn’t perfect either. We all have our challenges and struggles. For that matter, why was my other fantasy life in Minnesota, anyway? I would shrivel up and die in the Minnesota winters! No, I guess my regular life is pretty good after all. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s hard, when we’re constantly reading about and seeing pictures from other people’s lives, not to start comparing. We have to remember that the purpose of our community is to support each other and build each other up. Iron sharpens iron- we’re here to make each other stronger. When I’m tempted to start comparing myself to others, the thing that helps me the most is this quote from The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger: “Only I can do what I can do the way I can do it.” This is true whether I’m running, writing a blog post, giving a massage, or raising my kids. Even though there are thousands of other people doing the same things, only I can do it my way. And only you can do it your way. We can get inspiration and ideas from other people, and then go on to live our own lives in our own way- no one else can do that. Have a unique and wonderful Friday! Do you compare yourself to others? Or are you able to resist that urge? –I think we all do it sometimes.