Actually, D-Day was Sunday, the day I started this eating program:
Here’s the backstory. Digestion has always been my issue. It seems like everyone has their “thing”- I don’t get migraines or have allergies. As a kid I never got ear infections, and I never had PMS. BUT, I have a “sensitive” digestive system.
When I was young I ate a TON of sugar (we walked to school and had multiple opportunities to buy candy along the way. One time the owner of a deli actually called my parents because he was concerned about the amount of candy I was buying.)
Then I went through years of disordered eating, and by the time I was an adult my digestive system was a wreck. I tried different diets and cleanses, and finally, ten years ago, after being tested for parasites, celiac, and food allergies (all negative) I took matters into my own hands and and did Rikki Heller’s anti-candida diet.
It was SO HARD. You can’t eat sugar of any kind, including fruit, and including most grains. My withdrawal symptoms were massive (I never had hot flashes while going through menopause, but I did have them when I was withdrawing from sugar). An anti-candida diet is VERY restrictive, made even harder by the fact that I’m vegan. There are a lot of animal products allowed on most anti-candida diets, but since I don’t eat those, I’m even more limited. As a matter of fact I had tried anti-candida diets before and couldn’t stick to them.
BUT! Rikki Heller’s program is all vegan. She has somehow managed to put together enough recipes so that you can… survive… and actually thrive on this diet. It took a while, but when I did her diet the first time, I completely fixed all my digestive issues.
Things went well for a while. I even started adding things back to my diet, like fruit, some more grains. And then, bread (YUM! Why is bread so delicious???) I still avoided anything with obvious sugar, like desserts, but I let sugar creep in in so many other ways.
Honestly, all the long distance running I’ve been doing didn’t help. For my long runs and races I was eating sugary gels and all sorts of things I wouldn’t eat in “real” life. The lines became pretty blurred- if I’m drinking a Coke during races, then why can’t I have a Starbucks drink with “just one” pump of syrup? The thing about me is, I can’t do things in moderation. If you give me a bagel, then I want one every day. If you take away sugar, I’ll get addicted to salty foods. Take away Coke, and I’ll get addicted to diet Coke. In short, I can get addicted to anything where they make more than one.
It’s not like you can never eat anything delicious again, but in the book, Heller recommends that you come back to the diet periodically, just for a couple weeks here and there, as a little “touch up.” Oops- somehow, I neglected that part of it. I’m that kid who didn’t wear their retainer and now has to have braces put back on.
I’ve known for a while that I needed to do this diet again. I though about starting it in the fall, but, holidays!!! Who wants to be on an extremely restrictive diet over the holidays? Then, we went to Tampa- too hard to do while traveling. Then, my race was coming up so it wasn’t feasible. Then we went to Waco… the truth is, I don’t know how I’m going to manage the diet when I travel in July. But, there will never be a perfect time so I bit the bullet.
There are two phases of this diet- first, you kill the candida overgrowth, Then, you heal up the damage that was done to your gut from the yeast. So you’re not allowed to eat anything that could feed the candida, and also have to eliminate anything that might irritate your gut. The very hardest thing for me is… you’re not allowed to have black tea. SOB!
The only caffeinated tea allowed is green, and I don’t like green tea. It tastes like grass. But, Heller even has an answer for that! She recommends gunpowder as the least-grassy tasting.
This is definitely a hard diet to follow. But I have two mantras. One is, “It’s not worth it.” Anytime I long for my Earl Grey, or my favorite chips, or bread, I tell myself “It’s not worth it.” It’s really not! And that brings me to my second mantra, which I tell myself all day long, “Nothing tastes as good as feeling good feels.”
Unfortunately I feel like crap right now (I’ve had a headache since Sunday morning) but all will be well. I know that if I stick to this, I’ll feel so much better… eventually.
This is a long post, so I’ll get into exactly what I AM eating later in the week.
Are you a “moderator” or an “abstainer”?- I’m 100% an abstainer. Moderation is too hard for me.
Top photo by Gustavo Sánchez on Unsplash
32 Responses
I’m a moderator for sure. I feel left out if I have to abstain and it’s really hard for me. But I will say that sugar is creeping into my life more than I care for, so I probably should go anti-sugar for a few months and see if that helps with some of my issues (a slow weight gain that has me not liking photographs of myself and a constant low-level thrum of pain in my reconstructed leg).
BUT! Because of my husband, I do sort of abstain from a lot of things. So I know I can do it. I just need to do it, you know?
(I’m giving myself grace right now because THINGS ARE HARD. I am traveling so much, dealing with stressful situations, and honestly am just struggling day to day. So maybe now is not the time to do away with sugar, but maybe it’s the best time? I don’t know. Maybe I should deal with this in a place that isn’t your comments section.)
Ha ha, you can ramble away in my comment section any time, Engie! Sugar is a hard one because it’s very addictive. I’m not sure now is the right time for you to go sugar-free. Things are already hard and you don’t want to make it harder.
I’m sort of an abstainer. A lot of foods don’t call to me, so they’re easy to be moderate about, but for things like chocolate chip cookies or toast, there’s no end to what I can eat. I have to be careful though – if I think too much about abstaining, I get rebellious and eat it anyways. I have to trick myself to be casual about the food and distract my brain . ( I am addicted to diet coke, but once life gets easier, I’ll work on decreasing my intake. )
Why does food have to be so hard?
One good thing about getting older – my stomach doesn’t like things like chips or fries anymore, so I only have a few, if any, or risk digestive woes.
That is true- getting older helps in a weird way. I also just can’t tolerate things like I used to, which is probably good. And I agree- WHY does food have to be so hard???
This diet sounds tough. At least you know it works for you, so your effort won’t be in vain. I am definitely a moderator; the thought of never having a thing would put me off, although I have totally abstained from coffee since September 2023. That is mainly because every time I think of drinking coffee, I remember the severe vestibular migraine I had then and feel like vomiting. Realistically, I would probably be OK, but **shudder**
I guess that’s one way to be an abstainer- have a really terrible experience with something, and you won’t want it again! I’m envious of all you moderators out there- if I were good at moderation I wouldn’t be in this position now. But as you said, I know this diet works, so it will be worth it.
This sounds so hard but if you know it works, then you know it works, at least. I managed to cut out saturated fat from my diet and have kept my cholesterol down that way for over a decade (interestingly, husband’s is down now); husband went into Type 2 diabetes and is back out with, yes, medication, but also cutting sugar and carbs (and has his cholesterol down). Mine is easy as if I eat more than the minimum sat fat I feel horribly unwell, which helps me not do it. I did it to keep off the statins. Not sure if this makes me a moderate or an abstainer, though … as I eat sugar and he eats fat still! I could not give up proper tea though. I tried to cut caffeine by having decaff tea or roibos when I was doing IVF but could not.
Health issues are definitely the most powerful motivators! Feeling horribly unwell is also a good cue that you shouldn’t be eating something. I guess our bodies do tell us these things, and we just need to listen.
I’m REALLY missing my Earl Grey. But, I’m grateful for my “cup of caffeine” which is how I’m referring to the gunpowder. At least it has SOME caffeine. Sigh.
sounds like a tough diet to follow but i agree that feeling better wins. how long will it take? please share some of your meals too. i’ve never heard of candida diet.
How long will it take- that’s a great question. I know last time I did it it took months to start really feeling better. And, I’ll share some meals soon!
Wow Jenny, I really admire your discipline here. That anti-candida diet sounds like a full-time job in willpower – especially without your beloved Earl Grey!
But your mantras are powerful, and I love how you’re prioritizing long-term health over short-term cravings.
Also, huge respect for doing this as a vegan!
It’s true that we everyone has “their thing”. Mine is allergies – it seemingly comes up out of nowhere and then disappears again. The only thing that reliably works for me is fasting for a day or two, which isn’t exactly fun but at least it’s over quickly.
So, once again- health issues are powerful motivators. Fasting for a day or two sounds really difficult to me, but you’re able to do it because you want your allergies gone. I don’t think I can take credit for discipline… if I had discipline with food I wouldn’t be in this position now!
Oh man, that’s the downside of distance running. It is not kind to the belly. There will never be a perfect time to do the program, but now sounds great since it’s after your 50 miler but before your 60 miler next year. I’ll be interested to hear the deets of what you’re eating and how long the program is, even though I know that I will most likely not be picking up meal inspo for it.
I have the same planner but I never noticed the inspirational sayings until now. Something new to look forward to each week.
Birchie, I almost never look at the sayings. They’re so tiny! It was kind of funny that I happened to look at this one.
I’ll share my meals, but you definitely WON’T be getting inspired to copy them (hahahahahaha…)
I have complete and utter faith in you. It sounds HARD, but we already know you are queen of crushing hard things.
I’m a moderator. I don’t do well trying to abstain (it becomes such a big focus of my life and I feel like a failure if I “give” in). But even there, I don’t try to monitor my moderation. For years I struggled with disordered eating. I read The F*ck It Diet and it changed my life! I am definitely considered “overweight” according to BMI scales, but I spend very little time ruminating over food these days and eat healthfully. What more can I ask of myself?
I have a friend that has been on/off the candida diet for years and what a struggle it is to battle this problem. I was always amazed at her willpower, but it made such a difference in how she felt. Hoping the same results are true for you! You got this, Jenny <3
Thank you Elisabeth!!! I appreciate the pep talk. And- not ruminating over food and eating healthfully should be the goal for all of us!
I hope this works well for you, Jenny, and that it solves the digestive issues you’ve been suffering from.
I have struggled my entire life with disordered eating and have only in the past five years or so found peace. I am a person who edges towards too much restriction, and so that is a very triggering thing for me. I just left a similar comment on Lisa’s blog, in that I found recently that nourishing myself with love means that I don’t obsess over food anymore, and it has been very peaceful. So a diet based on restriction would be absolutely terrible for me mentally. I guess that makes me a moderator. The interesting thing for me – and this is where we differ – is that when I say to myself that I can eat anything anytime, I don’t. It’s the restriction that is hard for me.
That said, I really hope that this helps you. I didn’t realize you had issues with digestion – and that sounds dreadful! Best of luck!
I appreciate your comment, Nicole. I also edge toward restriction- or maybe I should say, I feel comfortable with restriction. If you tell me to eat anything I want, I don’t know what to do, and end up eating too much of things that aren’t good for me.
Whenever you post about meals on your blog, it always seem joyful and healthy. And you eat cake!!! I never would have guessed you had a history of disordered eating. But, that’s inspirational- there is hope.
OMG! I have no willpower. Though if something makes me sick I can give it up. Like raw onions and hamburgers for a while (now burgers don’t bother me?).
I did give up alcohol and coffee for a year to see if I slept better. I was unhappy and not sure if it had any effect. So now I have coffee everyday and drink when ever I feel like it.
Running is hard because you want to run well which may feel more important than your non-running health.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Darlene! To be honest, you’re one of the people I’m envious of. You seem to enjoy all sorts of treats (Starbucks drinks, ice cream, etc) and yet you’re the perfect weight and have no health issues!
Yes- it’s going to be tricky when I get back to long distance running. I’m thinking of trying Ucan- have you heard of it? It’s s low glycemic fuel. Not sure how it works but I guess it’s a slow-releasing starch that gives you energy. I almost tried it for our half (they had some at the expo) but decided I didn’t want to switch things up at that point.
Oof this sounds hard. I’ll be curious to see what kind of things you are able to eat. I would really really miss fruit! But having digestive issues is tough. I have an odd stomach that is very very loud. Phil is always asking if I am ok when he comes to bed because of how loud my stomach is. But I have not figured out what might have caused the issue so I just kind of shrug my shoulders and continue on.
No tea sounds tough, though! When I did whole 30, I could not find a creamer that was W30 compliant and tasted good so I switched to tea for those 30 days. It was fine but not great since I love coffee with creamer (which is dairy free and sugar free but had ingredients that are not allowed by W30 – can’t remember what, though!).
Oh, I’m wondering if the creamer had seed oils? We get a dairy and sugar free creamer, and there’s still something about it that would irritate my stomach a little. Like… something slimy? I don’t know.
Ha ha, my stomach can also be very loud sometimes. I would say, as long as your stomach doesn’t hurt, then there’s nothing to worry about. Except explaining to other people what in the world all the noise is about.
I love the congruency between your post and Lisa’s! I am totally an abstainer. If something I like is in my vicinity, I have a very difficult time leaving it alone. I also feel like I am a serial addict, like you mentioned: take away chips, and I’ll stuff my face with popcorn, that kind of thing. Not sure why these addictive properties don’t transfer to veggies???? but they don’t, for me at least.
This diet sounds very challenging. Sometimes the challenge is what makes it workable, though, right? I hope it helps eliminate your digestive woes. How long do you plan to stick to it, and how long does it take for you to start feeling better?
I’m not exactly sure of the answer to your last two questions- it can definitely vary. i’m going to reevaluate after six weeks, when I go on my trip. But it usually takes longer than that to really fix the problem. I like your observation that the challenge is what makes it workable- that’s an interesting thought. Sometimes things that are hard are therefore perceived as more worthwhile? Interesting thought.
This sounds really really tough, but hopefully it will help you feel better!
I am definitely a moderator — I’ve struggled with an eating disorder and disordered eating since my teens so being restrictive can be very triggering for me. And after working with a sports dietitian last summer, I’ve realized that eating sugar during long runs and races is actually what my body needs to be able to cover the miles and feel good post-run, so I don’t shy away as much from eating vegan candy during my long runs. But I know everyone doesn’t work the same way, and some people do need to avoid certain things. But not being able to have fruit would be really hard for me!
Yes, even though I’m an abstainer, things like this can be triggering for me too. Yesterday I thought “Hey, maybe I’ll lose weight! I should weigh myself now and then see where I end up…” NOPE. No, no, no. I can’t start thinking like that- it’s really, really bad for me. So I didn’t weigh myself and I won’t! (I won’t complain if my stomach gets a little less bloated, though.)
Long runs are going to be tricky. Luckily I’m not doing any now. When I start again I’m thinking of trying Ucan- have you ever tried it? Anyway- I’ll figure it out.
I’m such an abstainer. Actually, I’m a failed-moderator. I really want to be the person who can have “just one” and be chill with that, but it just isn’t who I am as a person. My example is always how I found it so much easier to give up Diet Coke for almost 5 years than try and have just one a day. It’s just not how my brain works. Sending you so much good energy for this experience, Jenny, and I can’t wait to hear how it works for you!
Thank you Lindsay! I appreciate it. Weirdly, the only thing I’m a moderator in is alcohol (???) I can have one beer every once in a while and truly enjoy it- but then I don’t want another one for several weeks. If I could just be like that with food, things would be GREAT.
Yowza. I’m sorry to hear that you’re in need of this sort of diet. TBH, I’ve never heard of candida, so at first glance I thought you were on an anti-Canada diet. Hmm, how does that work, I wondered that for a split second and then I re-read the word. Also, I’m blown away that a candy store owner called your folks. What on earth?
I did the low FODMAP diet and I hated it. I couldn’t have sugar, but I could have fruit at least. I didn’t feel like it was sustainable. I’ve been frustrated that I’ve gained weight lately even though I feel like I eat healthy and I workout a lot. I’ve been toying with going back to low FODMAP for a bit. Why must food be so challenging? All that to say, I think I’m an abstainer. I abstain from gluten, out of necessity obviously.
Oof, this diet sounds TOUGH. No fruit?! Ack.
I have been having some digestive issues and need to see a GI doctor. I am really worried about getting put on some sort of elimination diet, which I know could be helpful but I just really struggle with restrictive dieting and feel that it takes the joy out of living (I’m so dramatic, I know ha). But we’ll see. I’m interested to see how this diet works for you!
Oh goodness, I hope this helps you, and that you can get back to normal eating. Being in pain is a great motivator to change things, but these changes don’t sound healthy for the long term. I’m an abstainer, if there are chips in the house I will eat them all, if there is wine in the house I will drink it. So I try having these things only when I am not at home. I do so want to be the kind of person who can just eat a small handful of chips with one glass of wine, or one Coke Zero, but that is not me.
Sounds like a tough but important one, Jenny. I like how you’ve shored yourself up with mantras for the journey, all the best!!