Okay, I’m going to start with the most important thing- ELISABETH IS BACK!!! She has an incredible new blog. Phew! We’ve been deprived of her blog posts long enough.
And speaking of Elisabeth, let’s start with food. I’m still working on my project of eliminating harmful oils from my diet, and guess what foods contain these oils? Basically, everything. Of course that’s an exaggeration, but so many of my old standbys are now off the table. Elisabeth sent me this recipe for protein balls, and I made them today:
I like to joke that I can “ruin” any recipe, and this was no exception. I left out the maple syrup and chocolate chips, and used a little stevia instead. They are still delicious!!! Now I have something to reach for when I want a snack, other than pretzels or chips.
Oh, here’s the second announcement- we have two new family members! (Warning… the following photos contain rodents in case you’re not a fan.)
Yes, we finally got our rats. They are very friendly and affectionate! This was my daughter’s idea, and our new girls have been a good bonding experience for us… which we desperately needed.
It’s not that my daughter and I fight, or argue all the time. It’s more that we just don’t understand each other. We’re very different people, and it’s hard. Nicole shared this poem, “On Children” the other day:
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts…
So many times I’ve felt this would all be easier if I could just put my thoughts in my daughter’s head! Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Anyway, I’ve been feeling the need for some Buddhist wisdom so I’m re-reading this book:
I love Pema Chodron- she’s a Buddhist nun, and her writings are profound, yet clear and easy to understand.
Our aim is to fully awaken our heart and mind, not just for our own greater well-being but also to bring benefit, solace, and wisdom to other living beings. What motivation could top that?
Do you have pets?- Now we have two cats (Muffin and Charlotte), two guinea pigs (Nutmeg and Cinnamon), and our rats, Kris and Lucy. I feel bad for my husband- he’s living in a house with eight girls!
43 Responses
Haha, those rats are adorable! How do your cats react to them?
We don’t have pets, but if we had one, it would be a border collie.
I was an awful teenager and my parents went through hell with me. I like how you are trying to bond with your daughter – don’t give up! You will reap the benefits in due time.
Thank you Catrina! I need all the words of encouragement I can get.
The cats and rats are doing okay… but we keep the “rat room” door closed when we’re not around. I’m not taking any chances!
What gorgeous ratties – love them! Hope it helps with the bonding and understanding, such a difficult thing.
Thanks Liz! At the very least it’s a fun thing for us to do together- take the rats out for “playtime.”
I do not have any pets but I did have a rat when I was a kid! Unfortunately, I got him second hand and he did not last long. I am not sure if it was through any fault of my own or what, but that was my first, last and only rat. If you like rats, you may like this podcast; https://www.thisamericanlife.org/801/transcript I don’t know how you feel about This American Life or podcasts in general, but this one was entertaining. One story is about a man with like 30 rats and another is a fun fact: Alberta Canada does not have any rats! I bet you did not know that (maybe Nicole did?)
How old is your daughter? My Mom and I definitely had a period where we were clashing a lot. We are very different; she is more emotional and spontaneous and I am more regimented, scheduled and matter of fact. We get along great now, but there were some tense years at one point! I am sure you will eventually embrace your differences, but the seas can be choppy on the way to that destination!
I will definitely have to listen to that podcast!!! I just recently learned that rats only live three years, and a three-year-old rat is like a ninety-year old person! So, they don’t have a long lifespan. Our girls are teenagers right now (in other words, they’re six months old.)
I’m glad to know you and your mom get along well now after having clashed in the past- so there is hope.
Awww, they’re cute!! I had a black and white rat named Captain when I was a kid. They are so fun! I would have considered us getting one now with the boys too but I remember my rat, um, peeing on us quite a lot when we had him out to play. So that sort of put a damper on things, because otherwise they are great to play with! We ended up getting dwarf hamsters instead. We are on hamster #4. E had one first. When that one eventually died, we got TWO hamsters- one for each boy. (They lived separately- brothers but apparently not fans of sharing a living space..). Those died last summer, and we have now had our first girl hamster, a Chinese dwarf named Summer for over a year now. She is literally the sweetest hamster on the planet. I am getting anxious already because she’s over a year old now and well, they just don’t have the longest life spans. I find it SO traumatic when they die. We had to have one of our last ones put down due to a tumor and I cried like a baby. The other one died shortly after in my son’s hands (seemed like a sudden heart failure situation) and that was simply awful too. I am not sure I will encourage them to get any more after this, because they just only live maybe a couple years or so and it’s just too hard!! I get so attached to them. Our current hamster is just tiny and adorable and SO sweet! Enjoy your new little furry friends!!! I just love their cute little faces!!!
That’s funny, because I get very attached to my pets too- and we’ve had many guinea pigs come and go over the years. I always cry when they die and I think I’m more upset than the kids!
One of the reasons we chose girl rats instead of boys is that supposedly they don’t pee all over the place like boys. At least, this is what my daughter read. So far it hasn’t been too much of a problem, although of course the longer you have them out, the more you risk getting peed on. So far it’s only happened once (and honestly, I don’t mind it that much although I’m sure it sounds super gross to some people!)
I see Kyria’s comment above – of course I knew that! It’s a huge point of pride for Albertans. We have the mountains, and no rats. It’s a big deal.
I’m glad that poem resonated for you. I think we all can agree that meeting people where they are in their life journey is important – but of course, it’s harder when they are our children. I have thought about that poem literally every week since I read it, which was when my oldest was a baby. I think it’s really helped me make parenting decisions. They are all on their own journeys! The world is made up with different people and that is what makes life so interesting.
Your question cracked me up, do I have pets. DO I HAVE PETS. Honestly, I am a one-pet-at-a-time kind of person, I don’t think I could handle more than Rex!
So glad that Elisabeth is back!
Yes, but no one would NEED any more pets than Rex- Rex is the perfect amount.
That’s interesting about the non-rat situation in Alberta. I mean- it seems like rats would be everywhere??? Why none in Alberta? I might have to look this up.
@Nicole — I heard that stat and was amazed and proud for you! Plus you have a rat brigade. I think that is really cool. I did find it interesting in a territory that has land all around it so was fascinated to hear about how that works logistically!
Your rats are so cute! I had hamsters growing up — a boy named Peanut and then a girl named Princess — and they were both so sweet but only lived two years which was sad. We also had hermit crabs and they didn’t last very long since they only seemed to want to eat kettle corn!
Now I have a dog, Honey, who I rescued 8 years ago and adore. When I moved to an apartment 2 hours away from my parents last fall, I reluctantly left her with them since she’s older now and has issues with stairs/new environments and she loves their house and backyard. It was the hardest thing moving without her but I try to visit on weekends a couple times a month so I can still see her, and I’m considering adopting a younger dog so I can have one around me again every day!
Aw, I feel bad for you, having to leave Honey behind. Have you considered getting a dog that could run with you? Right now I don’t want to take on the extra work of a dog, but every once in a while I read about people running with them and it sounds fun (plus those early morning runs in the dark would be less creepy!
We have one pet – a hamster – named Meatball! He’s well over a year old, so I feel like the clock must be ticking. He recently moved out of my daughter’s room to the basement – he was waking her up at night running on his wheel and his mulch was getting all over her carpet. But now I feel like I rarely see him. He sleeps a lot and though he hangs out in the laundry room in his giant home we don’t engage with him as much as we used to. I feel guilty…but he also seems pretty content to eat and sleep and run occasionally. He’s still fluffy but I don’t have to give him haircuts anymore…and his hair DEFINITELY is tinged with grey. He’s a big hamster so I think they tend to live longer than the smaller ones, but I know that anything over a year and the end starts drawing near. We won’t be getting another hamster when he passes. We travel quite a bit and while they don’t take much care, they definitely do require some planning when we’re away. And to be honest, I don’t think my daughter is as “into” hamsters as she thought she’d be. We are just not a pet family! If we were to get anything, I’d choose a dog and I think I’d love the companionship but also…I’m a hard pass on picking up warm poop and all the vet visits etc feel like they’d overwhelm me!
I’m so glad to be back and thanks for linking to my new site <3 I'm glad you liked the protein balls. I never actually used either of the recipes I sent you since I just make up my own version based on what I have at home, so it's good to know these are delicious since I didn't try them before forwarding the recipe – haha.
Yes, the thing about these little pets is they don’t live THAT long. Hamsters also tend to be kind of solitary- I had one when I was a kid. They like to sleep all day, so even though they’re super cute, I don’t think they make amazing pets.
I’ll definitely try your variation on the protein balls. I just figured since I had all the ingredients I would start with one of the recipes!
As soon as I finish typing this, I’ll be over at Elisabeth’s blog! Thank goodness she’s back b/c the internet has sorely missed her.
Welcome Kris and Lucy! I have to say that they are pretty cute. They get a good home, and you and your daughter get bonding time. It’s win-win. And yes add me to the list of enquiring minds that want to know how the cats are reacting to them. It’s tough with kids – it’s like “can we just fast forward to you being a adult so that you have a logical brain and can comprehend what we do for you and how good you have it?” but also “hey don’t grow up too fast because I want you to be a kid forever”. I’ve got no answers but I have the problem.
I grew up with cats and was afraid of dogs until my 30’s when a friend’s German Shepherd bonded with me. Years later I became a dog stepmom and love my girl dearly. Don’t feel bad for your husband – he knew what he was signing up for! It’s a running joke in our house that the dog and I are “the girls” and everyone else is a boy.
I’ll give an update about the cats and rats situation soon- so far it’s okay although we are keeping them separated with the door closed unless we’re in the room!
So the rats do kind of terrify me but I can see how they are cute and I will just think of them as Stuart Little and not the rats of the subway system in NYC. I am irrationally afraid of mice/rats/etc! I’m working on it, though, so I don’t pass this extreme fear onto my kiddos. I probably already told you that a mouse ran across my room in HS and I screamed so loudly my parents thought there was an intruder. And then the mouse must have peed on the carpet when I screamed so we could not get rid of the smell so we had to get new carpet. And then I had terrible nightmares about rats/mice, probably because I was reading 1984 in school and there is a terrible scene in that book where rats are used as part of a torture device. I was also really stressed out at the time and I think I had mono if I remember correctly? So it was a no good, very bad time in my life that I now associate with mice! All that craziness aside, it’s good to have something to bond with your daughter over. Teen girls are hard. I was so hard on my mom when I was that age. I have profusely apologized and she said it’s part of the stage but I know she was very sad that I didn’t want to be closer to her. She kept a journal of my senior year with all the things she wanted to tell me but I wouldn’t let her say. She gave me that gift on my graduation day and it is the best gift I have ever received although I feel like an A-hole when I read it. My mom and I are very different people and we still have had our challenges, like during the 2016 election and covid, but we have found a way to focus on our commonalities (for the most part). I wish the same for you and your daughter!
I’m so glad Elisabeth is back! I can chat with her on whatsapp but it’s not the same as reading her thoughts on her blog!
Ha, I’m aware that some people do not love rats, so I’ll consider it a trigger and always start with a warning if I’m going to post a photo 9it probably won’t happen often- I mean you never see picture of my guinea pigs on here!) To be honest, if I look at them a certain way I can see how people would think they’re creepy!
I love your mom’s idea of the Journal of Unwelcome Words. Good to know I’m not alone in this!
OH MY GOD LISA THE SCENE IN 1984
All those girls under one roof! We never had rats, but we had a lot of hamsters over the years (myself as a kid, and my kids). I love little furry critters;-)
I pretty much love all rodents (although that sounds weird- I like the way you put it better, “furry critters.”) I had a hamster as a kid too. And gerbils, and mice…
I had no idea that people had rats as pets! My only question is why? Do you play w them? Walk them? I guess that was more than one question lol. I will have to check out that other blog recipes.
Ha ha… well, we don’t put them on a leash but they like to ride on our shoulders, so we “walk” them that way. They really are good pets, but I’m starting to realize they need a lot of attention!
Thanks for the heads up on Elisabeth’s new blog, and thel in kto the protein balls, they look good.
We have a dog called Riley and yesterday he went to the groomers and it was so odd not to have him around. Congratulations on your new pets. I hope they bring you and your daughter closer together. My second daughter spent two years hardly talking to me … except to say “Stop talking to me” but now we have a really good relationship so hang in there, I’m sure things will improve.
Oh, thank you! I love hearing stories like that… so there is hope.
We have no pets at all, although I would LOVE to have a cat. Probably not a great plan, since I am allergic to cats, but I looooooove them. While I am not crazy about rodents, I can appreciate them from a distance and I am so happy to hear that they are good additions to your family! And that they are creating new ways for you and your daughter to bond. That poem really hits hard, doesn’t it? Your children are not your children. Gah. As mother of a daughter, I empathize so much with you and I also am so grateful when you share some of the complexities of parenting.
HI SUZANNE! I hope you’re settled happily into your new house! That poem, I know. Daughters are hard! I hope the teenage years aren’t as fraught for you guys- you and your daughter seem to have a close relationship.
I have a friend who had rats and taught them all sorts of tricks and things. It was so cute. (And *whispering* then she was sad when they died because their life spans are kind of short. No more rats in their house.) Do the cats ignore them? Or are they kept separate? I want details on the organizations of the pets!!
One of the cats is pretty interested, so we keep them separate just in case. Yes- one rat year is like 30 people years! We’ll be lucky if they live three years (and our girls are already 6 months old.). Hmm, now I want to teach them tricks!
You know me, 2 cats and a rotating supply of kittens! Before I scrolled all the way I thought you were going to show a hedgehog! I’ve never known anyone to have pet rats. They are quiet?
Raising girls can be a challenge. That’s awesome that it has been a bonding experience for you two. All your efforts will be pay off eventually!
Yes, the rats are pretty quiet! But actually if they wanted to be noisy, they could be- their cage is in an out-of-the-way spot, not in anyone’s bedroom. And I would say rats are a more common pet than hedgehogs!
I know rats can be cute but I find them creepy.
But there is something about animals in a cage. My cat is driving me crazy. I’d like to cage him. Lol
Ha ha… yes, a cage comes in handy!
Your rats are adorable, congratulations! We don’t have any pets right now, and I am very sad about it. Hopefully we will all be ready for a new dog in the upcoming months, but I am barely there, and my husband is not there yet. Sigh.
Aw… Yes I know it’s hard! I can understand why you don’t want to rush right out to “replace” Mulder, but when you eventually feel ready and find your new furry companion, you’ll feel so much better.
I think rats are cute, I know they make quite nice pets, but I think I would prefer a cat (or dog or guinea pig). I don’t have pets and never had any growing up. It’s a sad state of affairs.
Hooray for Elisabeth being back! 🙂
Well, we also have guinea pigs! They also make good pets. The only thing we don’t have is a dog, and I don’t want one, at least right now. I can’t take on any more responsibilities!
Awww, I think your rats are very cute! What a great way to bond with your daughter, too. I’m sorry it’s been so rough with the teen years. I have heard that they can be SO difficult for moms and daughters. I was never like that with my mom (maybe it was a good thing we were so similar?), but it’s a hard age. Hang in there!
Thank you Stephany! I was difficult as a teen, but not THIS difficult! Everyone seems to feel that it will get better (eventually) so there’s hope.
Kris and Lucy are cute! They look more like mice than the rats we have here in London…which is a good thing 🙂 Awesome bonding idea with your daughter!
Yes, they definitely look like tame pet rats, rather than wild sewer rats!