On my run today I listened to the Ali on the Run Show podcast where Julia Lucas talks about her “fourth-place finish seen around the world.” In 2012 Julia was competing in the Olympic Trials in the 5k, where she was favored to win. She had a sizable lead early on but ultimately couldn’t hold on, and finished fourth, missing the Olympic team by 1/100th of a second.
You can watch the highlight video of the race here. It’s hard to imagine the disappointment of that moment, but you don’t have to- Julia talks all about the race, what led up to it, what happened during and after, on the podcast. She talks about how it changed the trajectory of the next four years for her, and it made me think of my son.
My son is a senior in high school and will be going to college next year as a trumpet performance major. Applying to be a music major requires the usual application process, plus an audition. This year because of Covid all auditions and interviews were held by a complicated combination of video recordings and Zoom.
Because he had a specific trumpet teacher in mind, my son had a “dream school” at the top of his list. He spent the year doing everything in his power to make that happen, including taking lessons and establishing a relationship (again via Zoom) with the teacher and re-taking his SAT’s specifically so that nothing would hold him back academically.
After his audition the teacher gave him every reason to believe he would be accepted, and we all made plans (in our minds) of how this school would be a part of our lives for the next four years. I’m pretty sure you know where I’m going with this… the big day of college decisions finally arrived, and he was rejected.
It was one of those moments as a parent that just hurts your heart. We know it’s good to build character and learn Important Life Lessons, but it was so hard to see. My son took it extremely well. Better than I did, actually. I’m still angry at how the whole thing played out (as a matter of fact the other day I was doing a Google search for a running website, and realized I had unconsciously typed the name of the school into the search bar. Ha ha… time to move on, Mom!)
Back to Julia. As one would imagine, nine years later she’s built an amazing and fulfilling life as a running coach and writer. Of course going to the Olympics would have been incredible, but as she said “It doesn’t make a life.”
So what does make a life? My son is in the process of sorting through the schools where he has been accepted and making the big decision for where he’ll be next year. He got his Moderna shot yesterday, the first step to getting a normal social life back (he and his friends are all getting vaccinated and plan to have a “fake prom.”) He’s thinking of buying a car, and is enjoying re-watching all the Harry Potter movies.
Big wins, big losses, and all the moments in between.
Has anyone listened to that podcast? Can you imagine missing out on the Olympics like that? (Although, there’s always a fourth-place finisher!)
People with kids… it gets harder and harder the older they get, right???
12 Responses
Parenting. It goes though various transitions, but never really gets “easy.” Good luck to your son in choosing where to go! While I have never had a near-miss with an Olympic opportunity (ha! If only!), I have had many, MANY 4th place finishes LOL One time, I even ran a good 10K race, and finished with a 3rd AG…but they only recognized the first & second placers. Lesson learned…it’s not always about how you place, but how you run the race.
Yes, in the end you really can’t control where you place, only how you run it. Kind of funny (in retrospect) about the third place finish where they only recognized the first two!
I love how you connected Julia Lucas’ story with the personal one of your son.
I don’t have kids, but I can imagine that it must have been extremely hard for you as a mum to watching your son being rejected after so many months and years of fighting for the spot in that particular college. So hard!!!
He’s a brave young man. One day, this initial disappointment may turn out to be a blessing, who knows.
Thank you Catrina! It’s true that we don’t have the perspective right now to judge this as a good thing or bad thing- like you said, it could turn out to be a blessing.
oh gosh moments like those are so hard as a parent. We have certainly had similar situations over here. I am glad your son is taking it well. They are so much more resilient than we think they are. I am sure he will end up at a school that is perfect for him
Yes, it is funny how resilient kids are! I have to remind myself that he’s not carrying these things around like I am. One of the great lessons of parenting.
Oh I’m so sorry. As a mom of a musician, I can totally understand how hard your son worked leading up to that moment. A rejection like that would sting for sure. Through my older daughter’s college selection process and then through her internship interviews I always reassured her that everything will work out in it’s own time, in it’s own perfect way. That very same thing is true for your son.
Yeah 4th at the Olympic trials by such a tiny margin would really smart. What can you do? Kind of reminds me of Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team.
Yes, it’s so true that everything works out for the best, eventually. It is hard with music- they put so much of themselves into it. But again, it all works out.
We’re not at college age yet, but my oldest stepson is trying to get a job this summer and just got the “thanks but no thanks” to his # 1 choice. My husband was more disappointed than my stepson.
Being a 4th place finisher is now a “Des” finish after the 2020 Olympic Trials. So it definitely doesn’t make a life!
Somehow the kids bounce back quicker than we do, it seems!
Yes, it’s a “Des” finish- and look what she just did! Set the new 50k world record.
Sorry about your son.
Yes I did listen. I can’t imagine getting so close. She has a great attitude.