I know. What do I really have to complain about? I’m not living in a war zone or having my house destroyed in a fire. But… there’s always something, right? I’m just going to quickly get this over with and move on.
As I mentioned, we’re in Tampa! My daughter is playing in the All-State band. In addition to the student groups, it’s a huge convention for music educators. My husband has been coming for years and years, so he knows all the ins and outs- for example, the best hotels to stay in.
Last year we were SO LUCKY. We were able to get a room in the hotel where my daughter had all her rehearsals. She could just walk down to her rehearsal, and back up to the room when she was finished. We liked that, because this gave us all a lot of independence. I could do my own thing without having to chaperone her much.
This year, we tried to get a room in the same hotel but couldn’t for some reason (FORESHADOWING…) My husband got a room in a hotel very close, though. It’s in the heart of downtown, just around the corner from the rehearsal venue, also around the corner from our favorite sushi place, and there’s a STARBUCKS IN THE LOBBY. This is going to be the best year ever!
Then… a couple weeks ago we got an email. The hotel where my daughter’s band was supposed to rehearse was damaged in the hurricane, and wouldn’t be able to host the band this year. Instead her rehearsal venue was moved…. to a hotel near the airport.
NO! No! No! No! No! No! This means that, instead of her walking around the corner to her rehearsal, I have to drive her. Driving her involves getting the car out of valet parking (there’s no other way to park the car) and driving on the expressway. Because the hotel is busy, it could take five minutes to get the car, or twenty. Because some of the driving is during rush hour, it could take ten minutes to get there, or forty. There’s no way to judge if we’ll be insanely early, or late. And there’s NOTHING else to do near this hotel- it’s literally on the side of the highway.
Yesterday, I drove her there three times. In the morning for seating auditions, then back in the afternoon for a rehearsal, and then back in the evening for another rehearsal. It took up… a nice chunk of my day.
Let’s talk about the seating auditions! The kids audition to get to All-State, and then audition again when they get there to see what chair they are. My daughter got second chair! Objectively, that is GREAT! I mean, this is supposedly the best in the state, and she got second. The problem is, she wanted to be first chair, so she’s upset.
I think it’s the “Olympic medal” phenomenon, where people who win the silver feel like they lost the gold. And I get it. “I was second chair at All-State.” Wow, that’s pretty great! “I was first chair at All-State.” WOW. That’s incredible.
In spite of this disappointment, I think she’s still having a good time. I say I “think” because she’s not really speaking to us at the moment. I guess it’s a little too much together-ness. When I was sixteen I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed sharing a hotel room with my entire family either, and she’s also probably tired out after rehearsing all day. Whatever- she’s made it clear that she would like to eat her dinners alone, and speak to us as little as possible.
Okay, those are my grievances. But you know what- I’m still in Tampa. I’m not at work. I still have time to myself, and I’ve spent some great time with my son. We will all survive this family vacation, and I’m enjoying myself in spite of everything. It’s not quite like it was in years past, but it’s still pretty great.
Have you ever been to Tampa?
Did you play in band in high school? Did you go to All-State?
29 Responses
Complain away, Jenny… That is A LOT of driving! And you can’t even just get in your car and go…
Congrats to Angie on making the second chair! (Perhaps the rehearsals and the slight disappointment and being a teen all feel a bit too much right now :/, I hope it passes.)
I’ve never been to Tampa. Now I know not to stay in that hotel by the airport 🙂
Tampa is a lovely city! I doubt you would pick this hotel by the airport, so no worries there. And, I definitely take all the teen angst into consideration when dealing with my daughter : )
I asked, A about Tampa–and he said we have been.
I guess my brain is going… Hope you’re all having a great time!
I have not yet been to Tampa! I am sad for you about the hotel situation. (And I hope she starts speaking to you!)
I did go to All-State Orchestra (violin, went twice I think) and All-State Chorus (once, but I scored #1 Soprano II and it was pretty thrilling). I loved those festivals so much – they were super social AND you got to miss school – DOUBLE WIN!
and yes – as Angie said – 2nd chair at States is a BIG deal (esp in FL – that’s a BIG STATE!!!)
Oh great point- we do live in a big state. I’ll remind my daughter of that fact!!!
Ooooh, #1 soprano!!!! I don’t much about choir- do they rank you like with chairs in band? And, you can definitely see why my daughter is disappointed. After all these years you remember how thrilling it was to be #1 soprano…. sigh.
yes although I’m pretty sure I would have been thrilled with #2, too! It was unexpected (and possibly undeserved – I had a good voice but I think others were better – my strength was that I could read music better than most vocalists with many years of piano/violin before singing, so I probably sang whatever the sample was more “by the book” than anyone else rather than just dominating with the most gorgeous timbre. Well, who knows.)
Oh no! The hotel change sounds terrible. All that driving! And it’s not like you’d want to stay at the hotel as it sounds like it’s in BFE (hopefully you know what acronym). That just sucks all around!
But I can understand Angie’s ‘get away from me’ vibe. She’s probably tired and a little overstimulated and disappointed about being 2nd chair (which is an amazing accomplishment in its own right, of course). And she’s 16 (that’s probably the biggest driver of her “get off my lawn” energy).
I hope the trip is still enjoyable for you all despite all the driving! I have only stayed outside of Tampa on the beach. I did meet Stephany for coffee in Tampa proper (or was it St. Pete?? Hmmm…) way back in 2014 when I was passing through on my way from Venica, FL to Orlando. And then I’ve been there for work once but we stayed right by the client’s campus so I did not see anything besides the hotel restaurant and the Starbucks across the street from the restaurant.
Yes- when we found out about the rehearsal change, my husband said “should we try to get a room in that hotel?” NOOOOOOO! That would definitely have been worse. I am still enjoying the trip in spite of all the challenges this time.
We met in Tampa for coffee in 2014! And then in St. Pete for lunch in 2020 – riiiight before everything shut down. Crazy!
All the driving around sounds like a huge hassle, but it seems like you’re making the best of it! Having time off work is always great and getting to be with your son is too!
I was always first chair tenor sax in middle school, and played in the jazz band which I loved. I switched to alto sax in high school and was no longer first chair, and my high school heavily emphasized marching band and I didn’t want to do that, so I ended up quitting after my freshman year. I wish I had kept up playing on my own but it is what it is!
I’ve talked to a couple people who quit band in high school because of marching band, which is a shame. Our school does NOT put a heavy emphasis on marching, luckily, but for some schools it’s a big deal and they even go to marching competitions. I can see how that would ruin it for a lot of people.
It’s really hard to keep up playing on your own- most people don’t do it. But I’ll bet if you picked it up now, you could play it again pretty easily.
I JUST listened to a podcast about the Olympic thing, and it turns out that bronze medalists are much happier than silver, because the thought is “whew, made it on the podium!” But silver, which is objectively better than bronze, makes people less happy. So interesting.
UGH UGH UGH I hate driving, and I hate when you have to drive to places that you used to be able to walk to. What a bummer!
Also omg I cannot even imagine sharing a hotel room with my family at age 16. Someone would have gotten murdered. Possibly me.
Ha ha, yes, I totally get where she’s coming from. And yes- it’s officially a thing that bronze medalists are (in general) happier than silver medal winners. It’s really interesting!
Oh good grief, yes you’re allowed to complain about having to make a bunch of trips that take up “a nice chunk” of your day. Yes it’s all good but it’s a lot! And also yes I feel her on “only” making second chair but YAY SHE MADE SECOND CHAIR!!!!
When we go to Siesta Key we fly into Tampa/St Pete. I can’t remember if any of our stops on the way to the beach were in Tampa or if they were in St. Pete though. I’d definitely like to explore more.
Enjoy the rest of the trip!
If you want to explore Tampa I can give you some recommendations! Last year I did a little tour of Ybor City and it was great.
That much driving SUCKS. Complain away. Argh.
I completely understand her disappointment, but also suspect she will come to appreciate what a huge milestone she’s achieved…when she’s a bit older 🙂
Teens can be tough. We had some pretty heavy sarcasm this afternoon…always fun.
Oh yes, the Sarcastic Phase. It’s so fun! And I’ve definitely done a fair share of complaining… but in the end, everything is fine. Things could definitely be worse!
Um, that venue change and subsequent driving required would make me do frustrated. You’re allowed to have that grievance. You’ve been looking forward to a certain experience (where you had a lot of time to yourself) and then you had to wait for valet parking and drive around a bunch. Totally okay to feel your feelings. Also congrats to your daughter! Second chair is amazing! I understand her disappointment, but I hope she realizes what an amazing accomplishment that is. Has she gotten second chair before and wanted to do better? She had one more year to try right? Or two? I hope you have fun despite all the driving.
Noemi, last year she was nowhere near second- this was a gigantic improvement. So, there’s that. And she still has two more years.
Thanks for validating my whine-fest!
I always feel like I spend so much money on vacation, I want everything to go well, so I would be annoyed with the hotel change too. (and those high expectations that I have often mean I’m disappointed, which I’m working on…) You had such a perfect set up, and then it all fell apart. I’m glad that you’re enjoying yourself anyway, even with all of the driving back and forth.
I did enjoy myself, but you’re right- it’s those high expectations that will get you. Next year (if we go) I’ll set my expectations low, and it will probably end up being the best year yet.
You can complain all you want–I get it! You had expectations for a fun family getaway, not a trip staying at an airport hotel. It’s never fun being #2, am I right? Chalk it up to an experience. There’s nowhere to go but up!
Yep! And my son pointed out that maybe it will light a fire under her, whereas if she made first chair she might get complacent. There’s always more than one way to look at things!
As I think I’ve mentioned, when I visit my friend in Hudson (an hour away), I fly into Tampa. I also ran along the water at a 15k one year.
I do like to visit the nearby town Dunedin..
Driving all day sounds rough… I would hate it. What are all the other parents doing?
I hope you get to have some fun when she is practcing.
Great question- I’m not sure what the other parents are doing. Some of them may have stayed at the airport hotel, but that would have been MUCH worse! I would rather be based downtown and have to do the driving.
I did end up having fun in spite of all my complaints!
Oh, no! That hotel swap-a-roo stinks. I equate this to Irish dancing, back in the day. I would have three of four family members on various devices trying to get a hotel room in ‘the’ hotel so that no traveling was necessary to get to the dancing competition, and the older kids could just hang out in the room whenever they wanted. That almost never worked. I remember having to drive from a decent distance and then park and bring EVERYTHING for the day, because there would be no time to go back to the hotel. We’d have to leave the hotel room at like 4:30 am. With small children, and Coach was not with us. It was just me and the dancers and he’d be home with Curly (this was when Curly was a toddler and wasn’t dancing yet). Anyway, it makes such a difference to stay at the place that’s close, and I don’t think that’s a small grievance. I might be experiencing PTSD, and venting those emotions here. Sorry.
I did not do band. We did not go to state for any sport when I was in high school, but Curly went to state for her basketball team last year and it was crazy exciting. OMG – the whole thing, like the fact that they won all the playoff games leading up to the state game. Unreal. Then her coach decided to coach the boys’ team when the position opened up after the other guy was fired after our lawsuit, and the guy they put in his place is NOT experienced enough to manage a team. It’s incredibly frustrating and very sad. But at least we had last year . . . the glory days.
Gahhhh, all that driving. Especially in Tampa! That would have driven (ha) me crazy. I really hate Tampa traffic so I have a lot of empathy for you!
Have I been to Tampa? INDEED I HAVE. More than a few times, muahahaha.