Well… this was a stressful week. On top of the usual (and some not-so-usual) life stresses, my daughter seemed to be brimming with resentment towards me. Everything that went wrong was my fault, and at one point- after she made a mistake and blamed me for the outcome- in exasperation I asked “How is THIS possibly my fault?” She said “It IS your fault, because you were the one who gave me the ‘stupid’ gene.” Ah. Well, at least she gets points for creativity!
When I told my sister about this, she remembered her eighth grade year, and said she had days where she felt like she was bursting with anger. She reminded me that it’s probably hormonal, and that it will pass.
It was good to put things in perspective, but it was still hard to deal with. On Wednesday my Garmin informed me of this:
How did it know??? I have to admit that instead of starting a breathing exercise, I bought myself this:
I know what you’re thinking- “Boy, she really knows how to live it up! Sugar-free and dairy-free ice cream!” Ha ha… actually it’s really good. It’s sweetened with erythritol though, which can be hard on the digestive system if you eat too much of it. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why is ice cream SO FRICKIN’ GOOD??? I split that pint between two happy nights. No breathing exercises needed.
Today one of my coworkers screwed up massively and somehow left me to deal with the consequences. I had to apologize to the client for the mixup, and instead of being incredibly annoyed- which she had every right to be- she said “It’s okay. We all have bad days.”
Because I’ve had such a hard week, I was disproportionately grateful for those words. She could have complained. Or she could have just said “That’s okay.” But to add the extra “We all have bad days” was an extra kindness, and it made my day. It reminded me of this quote (attributed to both T.H. Thompson and John Watson);
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Yes, more kind words… and ice cream. We’ll get through these battles with a little help.
Have you had anyone say something unexpectedly kind lately?
Favorite flavor of ice cream? – My current favorite is this butter pecan.
17 Responses
This too shall pass as they say. Although raising girls is harder than boys.
Besides running, ice cream is the best stress reliever. I can’t buy it because I have no will power.
Love coffee ice cream. Rum raisin is one of my favorites.
If you’re ever up near Vero beach, check out Abbott’s.
Oh yes- I used to love coffee ice cream. The oatmilk latte from Starbucks reminds me of coffee ice cream!
Yes! Kind words count for a lot. And man it’s tough to be a teenager (and also tough to be around teenagers sometimes). Hang in there and enjoy the ice cream.
Yes- I have to remind myself how hard it is to be in middle school. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t much fun to be around either!
I do agree – those girl years are tough!! Boys are much easier. Some days I would never know which daughter I was waking up to (grumpy or happy)! I think a dessert or ice cream is a wonderful stress reliever. I’ve been having a stressful week too. Hopefully next week will be better for both of us! Moose Tracks is my favorite flavor of ice cream, or Buckeye Bites (is that an Ohio thing only??).
Oh yes- boys are SO much easier! I never had anything like this with my son.
Ha ha… buckeye bites sounds like an Ohio thing- but I’m not really up on regular ice cream so I’m not sure.
What Garmin do you have, Jenny? That’s a really cool feature!
I can’t imagine what it must be like to raise a teenage daughter. You can have all the butter pecan you need.
That quote is powerful, thanks for sharing.
Plain vanilla all the way!!
Ah, you and my husband with the plain vanilla! It’s always funny to me that people like vanilla when there are so many fancy flavors nowadays.
I have the Forerunner 55. i’m not sure I like this feature though- although maybe I’ll just call it the “ice cream reminder.”
Jenny, it’s really, really normal for teen girls to lash out at their mothers. There are reasons for this and the biggest one is that hormones are crazy at that age, and girls need a place to express their feelings, and their mothers are the safest people to express them to. Unfortunately that comes across often as anger or extreme negative emotion. Mothers take the brunt of this because deep down girls know their mothers will love them no matter what, so they are the “safe” people. This doesn’t make it any easier or fun for YOU, but just know that it’s normal and it’s not actually personal, even though it feels like the most personal thing. I was mad at my mother constantly for years at that age. Particularly grade 7-9 I probably lashed out at her on the daily. We have a good relationship now! But I think all girls go through that rocky period.
I love the So Delicious ice cream – I like the coconut milk based ones. I really like their vanilla bean. I don’t mind sugar so mine isn’t sugar free. The coconut milk makes it so rich and creamy! I also like a nice fruity sorbet.
Well… I’ll definitely be keeping this in mind next month. Things have calmed down a bit, but I’m bracing myself for the next cycle. Knowing all this definitely helps- it’s not personal. Thank you!
I refer to eighth grade angst a lot in my life. Eighth grade was peak hormonal freakout in my body and I remember it as a time when I couldn’t control my emotions, my body, or what was happening to me. It was terrible for me and super unpleasant for my family, I imagine. I did get better. I suppose that’s not the most encouraging thing, but eighth grade angst did stop by high school.
Well, that’s good to know… with any luck, this is the worst of it. That helps!
Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry you had such a rough time this week. Hormones are hard enough as an adult, but I think it’s even harder to manage as a teenager who is still a “kid” but one transitioning into a more adult body. I can see signs of this with my daughter already (Grade 6) and it’s tough for everyone! I really hope you both get some relief from the emotional highs and lows. Hang in there and keep supporting her as best as you’re able. This too shall pass and the ice cream sounds delicious and really can help at the end of a hard day. I have a tub of So Delicious in my freezer right now which might make an appearance tonight!
Now for my own admission: my emotional food of choice lately has been eating a row (or rows) of a plain milk chocolate bar. One day, after a particularly exhausting fight between the two kids I ended up eating the ENTIRE (large) chocolate bar. It really did help me feel better but still…
Oh yes… chocolate works wonders! It’s amazing how emotionally exhausting sibling fights can be (for the parents.) At least I don’t have that to deal with… I feel REALLY bad for parents who have two teenage girls… I don’t know how they get through it.
I had dinner with friends with daughters close to your daughter’s age and they all said this is a really hard stage. A couple of them are reading ‘tangled’ – that might be a good book to check out? I was so hard on my mom in the tweens and teens. I was a very well behaved kid who followed the rules, got good grades, etc. but I was so mean to my poor mom. I apologized a lot when I got to my 20s and saw the error in my ways. My mom said she understood and no apology was necessary. But oof I was mean and still feel bad about it!!
My favorite flavor of ice cream is either mint chocolate chip or moose tracks!
Yes… I was hard to be around when I was 13 as well. Although I was more withdrawn and sullen as opposed to lashing out. I’m sure there were some awful moments that I’ve conveniently forgotten though. I remember someone else mentioning Tangled- I’ll look into it.
Ice-cream is my go-to treat every single time. I am glad you had such a nice and understanding client. It’s refreshing to not be met with “anger” when something goes wrong because we all have bad days!