Does anyone remember the episode of The Simpsons where Marge totally loses it, and has to go to “Rancho Relaxo?”? Well, I had a mini version of that today.
As I’ve mentioned, the lead up to Christmas was EXTREMELY busy. I literally did everything- put up all the decorations (inside and out), bought and wrapped all the gifts, cooked all the food, made all the cookies… but that’s okay. This is my husband’s busiest time of year, and besides, Christmas is more important to me than it is to him, so I don’t mind doing it all.
But what put me over the edge was having to cook dinner every. single. night. Shouldn’t there be some kind of special dispensation for holidays? By the time Christmas rolled around, I was about to lose my mind. I announced that after Christmas Day, I wasn’t making dinner for an entire week. And then…
My husband and son got sick. I haven’t mentioned it before, but we think they had Covid. I don’t want to jinx myself, but so far my daughter and I are healthy (fun fact- my husband and I have both had Covid, but never at the same time. Can we continue our streak?)
Instead of doing less, I ended up doing more, including putting together a birthday for my daughter and baking a cake from scratch. Then I took down the Christmas tree, and made a New Year’s celebration. (And by the way- let’s remember that I’m the only one going to work as usual- everyone else is on winter break.)
This morning I went out for a long run. In the middle of the run I got a text, and it was suddenly too much. I imagined it was a text from my family, demanding to know where the blueberries are or something stupid like that. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I finished my run, then read the text (turns out it wasn’t from my family after all- they were all still in bed.) I showered, ate, and then announced that I was going into the bedroom ALONE for several hours.
Ahhh. I set up my new planner, thought more about my word for 2025 (GUESS WHAT- I came up with a word that encompasses both “immerse” and “expand”… more on that soon!) and started to read my book- and then I feel asleep, and took a 90 minute nap.
When I woke up I felt so much better. I’m still vaguely annoyed, I guess at the universe. I mean- seriously? They had to get sick NOW? To clarify- they’re both much better than they were. My son especially is almost back to normal, other than a hacking cough. My husband is getting there. He has some lingering fatigue, so like if I ask him to unload the dishwasher, he can do it- but then he’s so tired, he has to lie down.
I know I’m the lucky one here. I would much rather be well and going to work than be home sick. I just got a little overwhelmed by everything- I feel much better now that I got it all off my chest!
How was your New Year’s Day? Was it relaxing?
Top photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash
27 Responses
I feel you 1000%. My kids are sick (the hacking cough is LINGERING), I am kinda sick (less of a cough but my sinuses are bad), my dad has been super sick, my MIL is sick. It’s everywhere and I’m over it. Of course I’m also grateful it’s over break and not when the kids are in school, but still. I’m just done. We didn’t do much for NYE and we didn’t do a damn thing today. My son and I were so impressed that we went into the backyard to shoot hoops as it got dark. It felt like a real achievement since we’d done nothing all day. I think I’m done doing nothing. Tomorrow I need to get back on it. Let’s do this!
I’m so glad you got to take a nap and are feeling better about things. I hope your son and husband keep feeling better and you get some more good days with both of them before your son goes back to school and your husband is back at work (well his day job 😉
I know, Noemi- I read your blog post. Ugh! Why does everyone get sick over Christmas??? Anyway- yes, we can still turn this around. Maybe we can end the break on a good note.
You’ve earned a weeklong stay at Rancho Relaxo after everything you’ve been juggling. Cooking, organizing holidays, birthdays, looking after sick family members ON TOP OF WORK?! You deserve a medal!
That mid-run moment sounds so relatable. It’s the small (and imagined) things that can tip us over the edge. Hang in there!
Now I’m very curious now about your word 2025.
Thank you Catrina! I’ll accept a medal, ha ha.
I do remember that episode! That show was so good.
Ugh, Jenny, I feel you. I was just saying to my husband, it’s not just the actual making of dinner every single day that is so exhausting, it’s the figuring out what to make for dinner and then getting the groceries to make the dinner. It’s a lot of work, including mental work. Last year I went from Oct 22 to the end of January making dinner every single day and we had houseguests in there too, and I just about collapsed. We so rarely go out or get takeout – there’s nowhere really to get good takeout around here! So cooking it is.
So sorry the guys got sick. It really does add to the load, doesn’t it. I hope you continue to dodge it.
I JUST REALIZED you never really got a break over the holidays! You’ve been working this whole time. Sheesh, you need some Rancho Relaxo.
I KNOW. Why is dinner so hard??? Does everyone feel like this? There has to be a solution. And… I’ll be getting a trip to Rancho Relaxo (sort of) in a week when we go to Tampa. I can’t wait!
Ugh I can totally understand how you felt yesterday. I haven’t been making a ton of meals as we live on leftovers but the holidays can really show the uneven distribution of work in a household. But it’s hard when you care more about the holiday than your partner which is 100% the case for me, too.
I went for a short run yesterday because the feels like temp was below 10 and it was windy and just kind of miserable. Then I took the boys to the zoo so Phil could work (even though he had the day off, the first 4 biz days are super busy for him, especially after the end of the year). Taco was in a HORRIBLE mood. He basically cried the entire 20 min drive because of how I put his mittens on and then he was so moody at the zoo. At one point he laid on the floor and kind of cried/screamed because he couldn’t decide between chicken strips and pizza…. There were a lot of terse moments and I did not embody my word, ‘light’ at all. I came home and said I was going to my room for awhile where I read and napped for a bit. Oof. Of course the pictures from the day make it look like it was just wonderful. The reality is that it was not our best outing.
I’m sorry your husband and son have been so sick. That makes things extra hard! I hope you avoid it. Phil has never tested positive for Covid. He’s the only one who has avoided it (but has the best immune system in our family by far).
Lisa, that reminds me so, so much of my time with Angie when she was little. Paul was not like that! But Angie would have a meltdown at things exactly like that (except we don’t wear mittens here, lol.) It’s so incredibly draining. I will say that Angie is STILL a challenging person- but those days of tantrums are over. Even with a “difficult” kid, it DOES get easier.
Covid is a mystery for me. I have had it, but not since 2021. At least, that I know of. I’m afraid now that I wrote this post, I’ll become extremely ill. So far so good though.
Jenny, I hope today feels better…
But also you HAVE been doing it all while managing your regular workload. I’m sorry that seems unfair. People can’t help falling sick, but surely the universe could do better? Come on, universe!!
Tangent: I was wondering if you sometimes go to events where your husband is playing? Like do you sit there at a table by yourself with a drink looking all sultry… And if someone talks to you, you say, “I’m with the band.” I don’t know why, but that popped into my head the other day.
Hahaha…. I haven’t gone to any event where he’s playing in a long time. I used to, back when we were first married (back when I still had the ability to look “sultry.”) But then we had kids, and life just got so busy. Every once in a while I’ll still hear him play, but it’s probably not as often as it should be.
That’s so much, Jenny! I’m glad you were able to take a break and crash – sometimes, I think, our brains just need to shut down and restart so we can come back to whatever was filling them up, haha! I hope everyone is feeling better and I can’t wait to hear about your 2025 word!
Yes, that’s exactly what I needed- for my brain to shut down for a while. Word for 2025 coming up tomorrow!
I’ve been there! I think the best thing to do in these situations is exactly what you did==>clock out and take care of yourself. It took a while for me to figure this out, but it’s OK to ignore “where are the blueberries?” texts and to respond to “what’s for dinner?” with “I don’t know, what are you making?” Life is good at Rancho Relaxo!
Happy New Year!
ha ha… I like the dinner question response!
Okay, this calls for a meltdown. All that work and prep, all the care that goes into managing a sick household WHILE YOU’RE STILL WORKING, and coming down off the adrenaline of a major holiday (while still working). Making and decorating cookies. Wrapping gifts. Getting a tree and decorating. Buying gifts for pets and family. You have so much stuff on your plate, Jenny. You are a complete rockstar and I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you a week away at an everything-included vegan resort at some tropical destination with warm sunshine, but cool mornings for great running weather.
Hang in there friend. But, also, melt down all you want. This is pretty awful 🙁
Wait a minute! Now I’m depressed again, because I want that week at a vegan resort, ha ha. But thanks for the support as always : )
There is a great clip on YouTube where Arethra Franklin is asked what are her biggest challenges, and her response is trying to figure out what to cook for dinner, night after night!! I don’t think the interviewer expected that response but I bet anyone forced to meal plan, shop for said meals, make them and clean up bonded with Ms. Franklin in that moment LOL. I know I did!
Oh that’s funny! Yes- many many people bonded with her in that moment.
I also meant to add that I totally related to your melt down. Glad you took a break when you got home and are feeling better.
Thank you Jacquie-I appreciate it! i’m definitely feeling better.
Oh this sounds rough and a meltdown totally logical.
I am sorry.
Glad you felt better after the nap and some alone time.
Thank you so much Tobia! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!
I’m sorry! Having them both sick and having to do everything would be a lot at any time, but around holidays when you want things to be special, it’s worse. You want a nice Christmas, you want your daughter’s birthday to be special, then there’s New Years. I so felt you with the text when you were trying to do ONE THING for yourself and get in a run. I’m relieved along with you that it was not anyone wanting blueberries, and I’m really glad that you got in a good nap. I hope things settle down soon and that you get a Rancho Relaxo break soon, even if it’s a staycation. You should take some time off when your son is back at school, a spa day. Or a shouldless day. Soak your feet in epsom salts and sliced cucumbers on your eyes, then watch a movie or read a book. Do not cook. Someone else cooks, or you get takeout. Just not you. You have earned at least a month of these days, but a week or even a day would be a start.
I woke up on the 27th feeling crummy. I spent 3 days feeling crummy, then started feeling better on the 30th, thankfully, because my daughter and I had plans that I didn’t want to cancel. My New Years was just the kind I like, lazy and quiet. I hope you get some of that kind of time soon.
I think you deserve at least a week long break from making dinner and cleaning up after everything you’ve done! It sounds exhausting but I’m glad you felt better after your time alone.
Thankfully no illness around here and New Years Day was pretty chill — I just did a strength workout in the morning and we had appetizers for dinner and watched that new Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie!
This sounds exhausting, Jenny! Especially doing all of the holiday prep on your own – is there any way to offload some of those tasks to your husband? Even though he’s busy, so are you! Or maybe just figuring out an easier meal prep option for the holiday season so you’re not ALSO making dinner every single night. Hugs!!
2025 has started off pretty good for me. I had a very lazy New Year’s Day and then was back to work yesterday.
I hope you stay healthy
I ran an informal race. Put some big Christmas stuff and packed for my nyc trip
I would also please like a stay at Rancho Relxao— we should go together. I hope things are getting easier and that you stay healthy!