walkers walk… but runners fly

Runfessions and Fallfessions!

Well, it’s the last Friday of the month and you know what that means- I’m linking up with Marcia for Runfessions!  But first- let’s talk, once again, about pumpkins.

I said I wasn’t going to talk about pumpkins in every post, but yesterday Nicole sent me this:

I love it!  And I love how when people see tons of pumpkins, they immediately think of me.  I am officially the Crazy Pumpkin Lady!  But did you know it wasn’t always this way?

When I lived up north, I actually- gasp- HATED fall!  I know- the irony!  I grew up in Illinois (the pumpkin capital) where I could do all the fall things- go apple picking, see fall colors, wear sweaters… and I hated it.  What I really hated, of course, was winter, but fall meant winter was coming.

In my 20s I was still living up north (why? WHY?) and one day I went for a walk with a friend.  He pointed out the beautiful colors of the leaves, and I told him I couldn’t see the beauty- all I could see was that winter was coming.  He said “Can’t you just appreciate this now and enjoy yourself, without worrying about what’s coming next?”  My response was, “If you knew you were going to prison next month, would you be able to put that out of your mind and enjoy yourself today?”

Yes, that sounds dramatic, but it’s truly how I felt.  Every winter the entire world turned gray.  It felt like someone threw a thick blanket over me, and I had to struggle through every day with that encumbrance.  This was right around the beginning of SAD lamps, but they weren’t widespread.  It wasn’t like you could just order one on Amazon.  I’m not sure there was a SAD lamp big enough and strong enough to fix my SAD, anyway.

Now you know why I live in Florida!  But- the irony continues- after living here for about ten years, I started to notice how frickin hot it is in September… and October… and November.  I started to “miss” fall- or rather, the romanticized notion I had of it.  A crisp fall day would feel amazing right about now.  So… Pumpkin Palooza was born.

I mention all this because for those of you who are dreading the winter (Hi Engie!  Hi Kim!) I want you to know I truly empathize.  It IS awful, and if you’re not enjoying fall, I don’t blame you one bit.  (Side note- Florida is a lovely place to visit in January- just saying.)

Now wait just a minute! (you might be thinking.) How is this “runfessions?” Well, it’s hard to have a lot of runfessions when you’re not running very much.  I’m plugging along, a little frustrated that this is where I’m at (when I thought I was going to run a 12 hour race in November) but at the same time grateful that I can run at all.

Recently I heard someone on a podcast describe training like this: every time you run, or do your strength work, or mobility, or whatever you’re doing to train, you’re placing one brick on top of another.  It doesn’t look like anything at first, but if you’re consistent, eventually you’ll have built an entire wall.  Every once in a while someone comes along with a sledgehammer and smashes your wall to pieces; and then you begin all over again.

I’ll just be over here laying down my bricks.  And- stay away from me with that sledgehammer!  I’ve had enough for the time being.

How’s your fall going- are you enjoying it?

Is your “running wall” big and strong, or are you building it back up from the rubble like I am?

 

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38 Responses

  1. Oh, please add me to that list of people who dread winter…

    I was just thinking today that we have perfect temps right now… But knowing it’s leading up to winter adds some dread for me. It’s not the cold I mind so much as the “grey dome” as my friend calls it. If I could have a blue sky every day, I think might not mind quite as much.

    But I’m getting some Fall fun in! Might as well seize the day 🙂

    1. Yes, Maya I read your post today with that photo of the bright blue sky. I remember how gray it is in the midwest, all winter long. That’s what really got to me the most. Glad you are able to seize the day and enjoy your perfect weather right now!

  2. I love that brick wall – sledgehammer analogy! I’ve built my brick wall for my upcoming marathon in two weeks, but I runfess that I feel it’s too small for the goal that I want to achieve.
    We flee to the southern hemisphere every winter – the idea of spending winter in Europe is not very appealing, either!

    1. Yes, that is the perfect way to do it- no place has perfect weather year round, so living in two locations is ideal.
      Good luck with your marathon! You may surprise yourself.

  3. I didn’t appreciate fall until later on. Fall meant school, dark, cold, and then winter. The other thing is that from what I remember the fall colors just weren’t all that where I grew up. I remember lots of yellow and brown. After we left Illinois I started seeing more red and orange.

    As an adult I love the colors, and once I met my husband I started enjoying the holidays a lot more with our big family parties. So now fall has a lot going for it!

    As far as my running “bricks”, there is something that I’m allergic to that is out and about starting in late August and man it whipped me this year. I felt very sluggish and fatigued for a couple of weeks. I had just worked my way up to running 2 miles and I had to go back to run/walk. But whatever it is seems to have taken a hike and my energy is coming back. So we’ll see where fitness goes from here!

    1. Birchie, that’s how I feel about the heat. Running is a struggle, but I’m hoping when it finally cools off, I’ll have a breakthrough.
      That could also be the case from my childhood- maybe the leaves just weren’t that pretty. I don’t actually remember because I didn’t care back then.

  4. I did not know IL was the pumpkin capital! Love that! I’m sorry your proverbial brick wall was smashed yet again. It is so frustrating. As a former figure skater, I grew up skating outside every single day of the winter so I did not mind the season, even if it was below zero. But now the snowbird life is looking very appealing to me. I so badly miss the generous sunlight!

    1. Yes, you wouldn’t have expected that from Illinois, right?
      I think the key to enjoying winter is to be involved in outdoor winter sports, which I never was. So, you did it right! If you can swing the snowbird life now, that would be amazing.

  5. We are unfortunately back to summer here — we are going to be in the 110s this weekend! I am soooooooo ready for fall and even winter, those are the best months here. So I’m not exactly enjoying fall right now since it certainly doesn’t feel like it but I’m looking ahead to a month from now where hopefully it’ll be much cooler.

    1. Oh, yuck. I’m always checking my son’s weather which is usually similar to yours- they dipped down to the 80s this week but are going back up again. It does seem extra cruel in October!

  6. Awww, Jenny. I’m sorry you had such trouble with SAD. Up until the pandemic I disliked winter. I mean, Calgary winters are so long and brutal. But then I listened to a podcast with a woman who was one of my yoga students and who was dying of cancer. She talked about how every season she’s in is her favourite season and that really affected me. I started thinking, wait, why am I wasting so much time disliking winter? This is where I live (I mean, at the time)! So I just bought a lot of really warm outerwear and started just going outside and finding things to appreciate every day, and it really did something to me spiritually. Sorry, that made me sound crazy. But it did! As my former student said, before she died, embrace the season. So that’s what I do. I mean, we are in the latter half of life, right, so why not do what you do and make every day count? All of this is to say I endorse your pumpkin palooza.

    1. Thank you for the endorsement, Nicole! Seriously- that is a beautiful point of view. Sometimes I wonder if I could handle the winters up north better now, with a different mindset. But I think I would still be dealing with a chemical imbalance that would cancel everything else out. But I agree with the sentiment of making every day count! As you said, we’re in the latter half of our lives. We can’t afford to wish away any of our days.

  7. I think I’d struggle with the fall temps in Florida, but I REALLY struggle with the winter temps in Canada. I think our goal is to “snow bird” when we retire and get the best of both worlds. I really hate winter, though I don’t find it impacts my mood too terribly. I mean, I’m grumpy, but I don’t feel overly depressed in the winter. In some ways, I think I find summer harder because of the general lack of structure.

    You’ve had a tough summer with lots of setbacks but what a perfect analogy and you are rebuilding your wall steadily and learning as you go! I’m sure the bricklaying technique is finely tuned at this point in your running journey.

    What a perfect photo from Nicole!

    1. Hmm, yes let’s carry that analogy on a little further. If you build the wall more skillfully, it will be harder to break it down. I like that!
      I think most people get grumpy in the winter, even if they don’t have SAD. Winter is hard, no matter what. Becoming a snowbird eventually is a good goal!

  8. I wasn’t quite as much a fall-hater as you when I lived up north, but it always made me sad to know winter was coming, even when I was enjoying the leaves changing and that feeling of sunny with a slight nip in the air. As a friend said at the time, if we could follow fall with 6 weeks of winter and then be done with it, that would be one thing, but it dragged on and on. And now here I am in Florida, wishing we could turn the A/C off and open the windows already!

    1. Deborah, as long as you’re consistently laying your bricks, your wall will be built, eventually! Unfortunately we have to have patience.

  9. Aw.

    I do need the sunlight, but I also miss seasons. Then again, I never really hated winter like a lot of other people do. The cold stinks, but I don’t mind being out in it, so I can still get my fresh air and (weak) sunlight.

    I absolutely miss the farm festivals and pumpkin patches and apple picking. I signed up for a freaking december race simply because they promised apple cider and cider donuts.

    1. Ha! That’s as good a reason as any to sign up for a race. Hope you’re okay up there- I know Helene didn’t hit you directly but I imagine you’re getting some pretty bad weather.

  10. The brick wall is a great metaphor for running (or fitness in general). Yes, it’s true that I consider winter my fourth favorite season, LOL. That said, I do appreciate every season for what it brings. Winter can be really beautiful, it’s just so ridiculously cold in Iowa. I do try to savor the colors of fall and the crisp temps, but it’s really tough to NOT think about what cones after.

    1. It’s good that you can see the beauty in winter, even in Iowa (shudder!) And, I hope you get to savor fall as long as possible…

  11. The brick wall is a great metaphor for running (or fitness in general). Yes, it’s true that I consider winter my fourth favorite season, LOL. That said, I do appreciate every season for what it brings. Winter can be really beautiful, it’s just so ridiculously cold in Iowa. I do try to savor the colors of fall and the crisp temps, but it’s really tough to NOT think about what cones after.

  12. I’ve always appreciated fall even though I dread what comes next. It’s such a beautiful time of year. And having kids has made me appreciate it even more because our walks in the neighborhood are slower than they would be if I was alone and I’m on the look out for things to point out to the boys. I also appreciate Halloween decorations more than I did in the past since the boys get so excited about them (and yet we have none which is lame, but it’s a hill I want to die on with Phil who is opposed to decorations).

    All that said, it has not been fall-like at all here. It will be in the 80s today and through the weekend. We had some cooler weather but this month has been quite HOT (for us). But it’s cool in the mornings most of the time which really helps. It will really cool off next week – right in time for the marathon! I’m so relieved as last year it was canceled due to the heat/humidity. My employee is running it so I wanted him to have ideal weather conditions. Unfortunately it won’t look very fall-like since it’s been too hot for the leaves to change colors!

    1. Yes, I agree different things seem important when you have kids! We have some houses in our neighborhood that decorate big for Halloween and Christmas, and that gave us a built-in activity every night after dinner- going for a walk to look at the decorations.
      Glad it’s going to cool off in time for the marathon- I do remember last year when it was canceled.

  13. I am refusing to let the thought of winter dim my excitement for fall. I am decorating for Halloween this weekend. I am going to carve jack-o-lanterns. I am going to buy too much candy for the five trick or treaters we get. I am going to participate in Elisabeth’s Cool Bloggers Walking Club and get outside every day. I am going to get to a corn maze and a haunted house. I am going to rake leaves and let the dog jump in a pile. I am going to live fall up!

    (Also, winter is coming.)

  14. Admittedly I complained a lot about the cold when I lived up north. College in western MA was particularly frigid! BUT . . yeah, I HATE HATE HATE September through November in FL. I don’t even think June/July are that terrible, because it’s hot everywhere and like fine, we have summery summer vibes. But this part sucks.

    NC (where I lived from 2002 – 2013) was the best of both worlds. Seasons but the winters were not bad at all! If it weren’t for jobs/kids’ schools/family (well, that’s a lot . . .) I’d move back in a heartbeat!!

    1. I know- I would also move to NC if I could. And I totally agree- I don’t mind the heat so much in June, July and August. But September and October are so unpleasant down here. Well… it has to end sometime!

  15. I’m a summer girl. I love flowers. I hate being cold. Wearing layers.

    I do enjoy the colors but winter is around the corner. Ugh.

    I hate those walls. I hope I’m not building from scratch but some days it appears so.

  16. Well, fall is my favorite season — can we still be friends? I’ll send you pumpkin pictures!

    You have a good reason for not liking fall. Our winters here are mild and include many blue sky days.

    I like the brick=by=brick analogy. I am still buidling my wall, and trying to be patient while the mortar sets.

  17. I really enjoy all the season but yeah, I guess living in a place with freezing temps and piles of snow wouldn’t be my favorite either. So funny though that you’ve completely turned into the pumpkin lady 🙂

    I hope there won’t be any more troubles with running going forward. You have indeed dealt with enough lately… time to rebuild that wall.

  18. we all complain about the weather condition where we live, we miss what we don’t have. I don’t like winter in general but now I do want to go somewhere cold after running at 80s with 90% of humidity.
    how’s your calf doing?

  19. As you know, I love fall. Love. Even though it means winter is next. I don’t actually hate winter, but it’s just too long. Getting outside and running during the winter definitely helps keep SAD away. And of course, the trails are gorgeous in the winter…just saying!

  20. I love fall, and I generally don’t “hate” winter- until the end. I actually really love some of the super cozy aspects of winter. I guess in my case, I wish Christmas fell just a little later. Because I LOVE the season leading up to Christmas- with snow, twinkle lights, fireplace, Christmas trees, etc. But then after that all ends, it gets very blah. So, I think I would like to just extend Christams to maybe January 25th instead, and then as soon as Christmas ended, we could just jump the weather ahead to like, mid-May weather. Our springs here are cold and crappy and windy and often rainy and it’s no good either. And the bitter cold temps are just unacceptable, basically ever. lol!

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