I’m just going to dive right in- how do you feel about the Pledge of Allegiance? My daughter has a little situation at school.
Every day at the beginning of first period, the students are asked to stand while the Pledge is recited. The students don’t have to SAY the Pledge (they can if they want to) but they are expected to stand. My daughter has decided that she’s not comfortable with the Pledge, and won’t be standing from now on.
Since they have a revolving schedule, she has a different teacher for first period every day. Some teachers don’t seem to care; one asked her to stand but when she said no, didn’t press it; and another teacher said students can stay seated if they have a “good reason.” Only one teacher strongly objects, and told my daughter that if she wants to sit for the Pledge, she needs to bring a note from home.
Sigh. Why didn’t she just ask my daughter for her reasons? She has some good ones- (with liberty and justice “for all”- really?) So I had to write a note giving her permission to stay seated. (Please, please let this year end quickly and without further incident… we’re so ready to move on.)
I guess there is something odd about the Pledge of Allegiance. It almost seems… un-American to impose it on little kids. I will say that I like the Star Spangled Banner. The words are beautiful, and I get a nice patriotic feeling when I hear it. National Anthem- yes. Pledge- no. What do you think?
The second weird and random question is on a completely different subject. If you had to choose one, would you rather be blind or deaf? I know, neither. But if you HAD to choose. My son and I would choose deaf. To me this seems like an obvious choice. Vision is much more important! For one thing, you would still be able to run and walk on your own. I know vision-impaired people run with guides, but I wouldn’t want to be dependent on that. And it’s not only running- it just seems like you would be able to lead a more independent life (plus being blind would be kind of scary- I always think about that when I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.)
My son and I were astonished that my husband said he would choose blind- WHY??? I thought he must be insane, but then just the other day this topic came up with my daughter, and she said she would choose blind as well. When I asked her why, she said “You would still be able to hear music, and hear people talking.” And then I realized- my daughter and husband are both extroverts; my son and I are introverts.
Do you think there’s a correlation? Extroverts would choose being blind over deaf, because being able to hear would give them more of a connection to other people. Introverts would choose deaf- we don’t need the social interaction as much (and think how much reading you could get done without all the noisy interruptions!). I’ll end this by saying, I’m really grateful that I have all my senses.
How about you- introvert or extrovert? Blind or deaf?
If your daughter didn’t want to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance at school, would you support that?
35 Responses
Good questions Jenny!
I would choose to be deaf, too. And I’m an introvert as well. My husband would choose to be deaf, too. But he’s an extrovert! Argh!
And yes, I would fully support my daughter having her own opinion. It’s tough to stand up (or in this case, keep sitting) for unpopular principles, especially as a teenager. Kudos to her!
I think the lesson to be learned here is that NO ONE would choose blind, other than my husband and daughter. They are obviously odd!
I would also choose deaf, though it makes me SO sad to think of not being able to hear music. But to not be able to see the people I love would break my heart. I’m also an introvert!!! Thanks for this question prompt; it’s a great reminder to appreciate all our senses. What a gift they ALL are <3
We have already supported our kids as they have chosen to take some stands at school. It's…tricky. And I hear you on this school year – my son has loved basically every minute, but my daughter has hated (H.A.T.E.D) her first year of middle school.
Middle school is a rocky time. Although my son sailed through with no issue whatsoever- so you might have the same experience with Levi. It’s definitely easier for boys. And it can change dramatically from year to year- I hope next year is completely different for Abby.
Well pledges of allegiance are in my mind at the moment as we are suddenly being encouraged to say one OUT LOUD when the king is crowned on Saturday. What, in your car? on the coach on the way to a family party in my case??? Um. no. So I’d let her do whatever she wanted as long as she had a reason. And deaf / introvert.
Hmm, that’s odd! I’m intrigued by this. I know the royal family is a big thing in England, so it’s like a pledge of loyalty to the King? Sounds very British… but I can see how you (and maybe the whole younger generation) would be baffled by it.
We never pledge allegiance to the monarch generally, I mean you do when you join the Armed Forces and I think scouts and guides do, but not normally! This is replacing the peers (posh hereditary and lifetime people who sit in the House of Lords) doing it but no thank you. Many people of my age are saying no. We are not all obsessed with the royal family and it’s not a big thing (I remember US colleagues emailing me to personally send condolences when Princess Diana died, so obviously people think it is), I was sad when the Queen passed because she’d done her duty and been there all everyone’s lifetimes, but only that and would have been happy with it gone. So they have massively misjudged this in my opinion!
I would chose deaf, as I would still be able to go hiking and see all of the beauty around me. Although dang, I would miss the sound of the water and the birds and it would be kind of weird to not be able to hear an animal coming near the tent. I am also an introvert.
Yes, it would be really weird and sad not to hear those things. Whenever I think about this, I’m suddenly appreciating everything I can hear!
Oooh these are interesting things to think about! My personal feeling about the Pledge is that I would continue to stand even if I didn’t say it or believe it. The same way that I would bow my head if someone were to lead a prayer for a religion I don’t adhere to. In my head, it shows respect for the people who do believe what’s being said, while still abstaining from participating. That said, I could see how some people might feel that standing demonstrates acquiescence with or acceptance of the words being said, and that they might feel sitting is a clearer demonstration of their objection to the words or concept. I don’t think your daughter sitting during the Pledge seems like a big deal. I think it’s great that she’s thinking critically about this statement of allegiance that many people say without considering what the words mean. And I think the teacher who required a note (?!?!?!) is missing a terrific opportunity to dig into the Pledge and what it means and WHY we say it and to talk about forms of respectful protest and all sorts of other really interesting topics.
Yes, I’m upset that the teacher didn’t ask her about it. Especially since she’s a history teacher! I originally suggested that my daughter stand just to show respect for the teacher’s wishes, but she didn’t want to do that. Now I’m annoyed with the teacher, so I don’t mind that she’s sitting.
This is such an interesting question and possible correlation! I am an introvert and I would choose deaf as well. To still be able to read, and see my knitting! And colors! All the way.
Also, while I’m sure I would miss hearing often, I’ve lived with my mother for a few years now after living alone for a long time, and mercy, but she is chatty! There are absolutely times when I would mute her if I could. So in an odd way, I think I would sometimes appreciate being deaf. Maybe not, who knows, but interesting to think about.
Ha ha, I know what you mean. I have a certain CHATTY family member and a mute button would be nice. Of course I don’t really want to be deaf- but it would be way, way better than being blind.
Honestly, we try to avoid all group displays of jingoism, including things like the Pledge and the Star-Spangled Banner. There’s something sort of creepy about people singing the anthem at baseball games. I’m also super uncomfortable with call and responses when I’m visiting churches, too. I think it’s just a bit too close to military-like obedience. So, basically, I’d support anyone who also didn’t want to be part of those displays.
I would rather be deaf, I think. I find a lot of noise in the world overstimulating and it would be okay with me if that were toned down. I could still read, watch tv and movies with captions, and participate in life. I do think a lot of things would become super difficult, like communication face-to-face with people, but I’d take it over being blind any day. I’m an introvert for what it’s worth. I think it’s funny how many of your commenters are introverts! I guess there’s a reason we’re all writing/reading blogs.
Yes, I noticed that as well- are there any extroverts commenting??? Are there any extroverted bloggers??? There must be.
I agree with you, except that I’ve never minded the national anthem- but I wonder if I’ll look at it differenly now?
Very interesting
I’m a follower. I’d stand for the pledge even if I didn’t believe any of it. I’m Jewish and worked in a Catholic School. I stood for prayers and sang songs that I didn’t believe in.
I’d say deaf. My hubby as well. I’m an introvert and he’s an extrovert. We both think there’s more you can do when deaf than blind.
It’s funny because when I was in school, I would definitely go along with something even if I didn’t believe in it, rather than making myself stand out in any way. Not really sure why this is so important to her that she wants to turn it into a big deal- but that’s middle school logic, I guess.
Aha! So your husband would choose deaf and he’s an extrovert- that shoots down my theory.
I don’t believe that I’ve said the pledge since leaving school so that’s how I feel about it. I have mixed feelings on what we’d do if one of the boys didn’t want to say it. On the one hand, yes express your feelings and take your stand. On the other hand, we all have a ton of things that we just have to do and we don’t get any say in the process. Ooh wait what you said about having this school year be over.
Team Deaf!
Yes, this might be one of those things that you feel strongly about when you’re young, and then as you get older you realize it’s just another thing you go along with- it’s not really a big deal.
I’m Canadian, so this is an easy one. No pledge! Something new that has happened in the past decade is that before most ceremonies the MC will say a few words to honour the traditional lands of the indigenous people, which I think is a nice tribute to a community that has lost so much.
I’d rather be deaf, because I think that you can still communicate well with sign language. And I like seeing things!
I don’t think one person has chosen blind! My husband and daughter ARE insane, after all.
I think we need something new in the US as well- I think our Pledge has gotten very outdated.
I think the pledge is a bit silly (since it says ‘to the flag’) and would support not reciting or standing. But I also think the national anthem is overplayed and not necessary at races unless it’s military sponsored or for a national holiday (Independence day, Memorial). I just stand, no hand over my heart.
And I would say deaf also. I’m an introvert. I’d really miss music though.
Yes, it would be hard to live without music. Being blind OR deaf would be tough to deal with.
I stand at the appropriate times, just to avoid offending people. But adult logic is different from teen logic!
I always thought the pledge of allegiance was silly because I wasn’t an American citizen until I was in college so it didn’t really feel relevant but I still had to say it. Even still, I kind of just went along with it – the rule follower in me never would have dreamed of not saying it. Also, the small Canadian city where I grew up, before emigrating to the US – every morning we said the Lord’s Prayer in class in public school, so I think I just felt like these morning rituals were all a little performative.
My six year old says the pledge of allegiance in French because he is in a French immersion program and when I first heard him say it, I thought it was such an odd thing to say in French, though I guess the French were very much into liberty and justice and all that…
I really admire your daughter for having a stand on something. It feels a little much for her to need a note from you, though.
I don’t know if I could decide between deaf and blind! I keep going back and forth on this one!
Hmmm! You’re the first one to even give blindness a chance here. I’m going to tell my daughter your story of saying the Lord’s Prayer every day- she would definitely think that was worse than the Pledge. So maybe she doesn’t have it so bad!
I would 100% choose deaf. I can’t imagine being blind. Both would be tough but I could way more easily navigate the world as a deaf person – but want to acknowledge that would be challenging, too.
I don’t feel strongly about the pledge of allegiance and haven’t thought about it for many years. I would think there would be consistency in expectations across teachers. It’s disappointing that they don’t let your daughter think for herself. But good job on raising an independent thinker who questions things and comes up with her own conclusions!
Yes, deaf- although being deaf would be terrible! Better than blind though.
I’m not happy about how the teachers are handling it, but I kind of wish my daughter weren’t causing a ruckus. Oh well- it’s up to her.
I am an introvert and I’d also choose deaf – although I’d hate not to be able to hear music or noises of nature (birds, wind, rain) again.
I have a complicated relationship with the standing for the National Anthem and/or the Pledge of Allegiance. I think it’s very “performative” in a way, as you said, the words don’t really align with what is going in this country. As a naturalized citizen, I, of course, had to stand for both… but I still have a hard time doing it (and usually don’t) when it’s expected somewhere.
Are we all introverts??? Are there any extroverts in the blogging world?
Yes, I would say your your relationship with “patriotic” things would be complicated. I guess it’s complicated for most of us.
Tough situation for sure at school. I still tear up when I hear the national anthem at races and games. I was upset when football players were kneeling at games. I am fully aware that our country has many problems big and small. I do still believe we are the best country to live in. If we don’t strive for things like “justice for all” how will we ever achieve them?
As a parent these days, these issues are tough for sure
Yes, there are a lot of ways to look at it. My daughter sees everything as black or white (and maybe that’s just a middle school thing!)
Wow, these are some great topics.
I never had to say the pledge in school, so the whole thing is odd to me. Plus, what does it even mean for a kid to “pledge allegiance”? Have they dropped “under God”?
I’d definitely rather be deaf, but don’t test me on it!
No, they still say “under God,” which my daughter also objects to! The whole thing does seem odd when you think about it.
I’m proud of your daughter for taking a stand! That’s not an easy thing to do, especially around her peers. Sometimes I think about how I had to stand, put my hand over my heart, LOOK AT THE FLAG, and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and now I think that’s just kinda weird and undemocratic, in a sense. I have a hard time with patriotism, though, because of the way our country was founded and the types of wars we have fought.
I would rather be deaf, too. Especially after reading True Biz and realizing what a wide, communicative world there is for Deaf people!
I want to read that book! And yes… the funny thing is, a lot of what my daughter objects to are things she’s learned in history class IN SCHOOL. I can’t believe the history teacher is being so strict with this.