One Hand Clapping
I have a 90-year-old client who loves to share “life lessons” with me. Often it’s pithy sayings like “Plant roses. The manure comes on its own.” Recently he told me his version of one hand clapping. Unlike the zen koan, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”, his version refers to resolving conflict. He told me to imagine friction with a family member, and to clap my hands together. The hands clapping are the two people butting heads. Then he said “now take one hand away and clap.” Obviously, the remaining hand has nothing to clap against. He said next time I have an issue with another person, take myself out of the equation and see what happens. I’m already pretty good at disengaging with difficult people, but of course it’s the hardest with people we’re closest to. Let’s rewind a couple weeks to the night of the band banquet… My daughter’s boyfriend was late picking her up, and she was getting extremely agitated. She started yelling at me that I would not be taking ANY photos before they left. I argued back that I would just take a quick one, outside, in front of the car, it would be so fast- she got more and more angry. We were definitely two hands clapping against each other. Then, I just dropped it. I said “Okay, I’m going for a run.” I took myself out of the equation, emotionally and physically. I don’t think I was wrong to want a photo (one measly photo!) but also… what difference did it really make? I remembered Eckhardt Tolle’s question, “Do you want to be right, or do you want peace?” When I do this, I usually get an apology later on. My daughter texted that she was sorry for yelling at me. I’ll also text an apology if appropriate- I mean, I’m not ALWAYS right. Just most of the time. I’m linking up with JENN for Tuesday Topics- this week’s topic is What does mental wellness mean to you right now? (See how I stayed on topic this week???) Next week: Share your favorite outdoor adventure spot. Link Up With Tuesday Topics Welcome back to Tuesday Topics, as Jenny, from Runners Fly joins Jenn at Runs With Pugs to co-host this link-up! Please join us every week for a new topic! Write on our weekly prompt or choose your own topic! Make sure to add your post to the link up, link back to your hosts, and comment on the other shared posts! You are invited to the Inlinkz link party! Click here to enter Top photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash