I’ve decided to revisit my NaBloPoMo theme in parts rather than all at once, because let’s be honest- there are a LOT of blog posts to read every day, and no one needs to be reading a 1000 word post from me about how my month is going. And I’m also baking butterscotch brownies tonight- more on that later!
My theme for NaBloPoMo is “Every Day Counts,” and I identified three ways I’ve been known to waste my days, rather than enjoying each one: Comparing what I’m doing to something “better”; letting other people’s negativity bring me down; and setting myself up for future failure by not taking care of myself (i.e. sleeping and eating well.) Let’s take a look at that second one.
I’m usually pretty good at not taking things personally. Years of difficult relationships have taught me a few things, and one is, everyone is truly doing the best they can. Of course there are plenty of situations where we certainly wish someone’s best were, ahem, a little bit better, but the truth is, everyone really is doing the best they can with what they have to work with in this moment.
So, I’ve been doing well with not letting other people affect my mood, but I did have an interesting situation this week.
The day after my daughter found out she made the all-state band on flute, some pretty snarky talk started going around the flute section at school. A “frenemy” informed her that one girl was criticizing her playing (saying she has an “airy” sound) and another girl was saying my daughter was disrespectful to the older students by thinking she was better than them.
Why are girls so mean to each other???
Anyway, my daughter was taken aback by this and a little confused about how to proceed. We talked about it a little but didn’t reach any amazing conclusions, and the next day at work I ruminated about the situation for the entire day. I kept thinking about what she should say to these girls, and what I could say to her, and wondering how she was doing at school. Finally I caught myself- HEY! I said I wasn’t going to do this! Right???
That was a great way to waste a day. The comments weren’t even directed at me; I didn’t know the full story; and my daughter was at school handling it in her own way. The truth is she has a pretty thick skin, and probably forgot all about it a lot sooner than I did.
Tomorrow the flute section is having a “Friendsgiving.” Oh BOY- that should be fun! My daughter is bringing a poison apple pie— JUST KIDDING, of course. Actually she’s bringing butterscotch brownies. I would have gone with something more seasonal, but it was her request. It’s an old favorite of hers- I just use a blondie recipe and add butterscotch chips.
How is your November going so far? Any special challenges this month?
26 Responses
Thanksgiving is always a challenge with my hubbys dysfunctional family. We may eat alone.
Running on thanksgiving is fun but I am hoping to put the marathon disaster out of my mind.
Wait, what? It was a disaster? Have you written a recap yet? If so I didn’t see it. I thought you did pretty well. I need details.
Ugh. Girls are really so very mean. I am glad your daughter has a thick skin. That will serve her well in life. I have never had a thick skin. It makes life harder! Those brownies look awesome and I hope the friends gathering is fun for her!
November has been kind of meh for us. Phil was diagnosed with pneumonia, an ear infection and a fractured rib from coughing. Now that he is on meds he is feeling better but he’s been sick for so long and I wasn’t feeling super awesome for 2 of the last 3 weeks. So I just feel sort of worn down and exhausted. But I know things are looking up for us. I am heading out for a run shortly and am hoping I feel well and don’t like cough to the point of almost throwing up. Super low bar around these parts. 😉
Ha, that is a low bar. But in all seriousness- poor Phil! That sounds AWFUL. i hope everyone is feeling better and your Thanksgiving isn’t ruined by all of this.
November has been rough. Oof. Maybe this means we’re getting all the crummy stuff out of the way before Christmas?
Yum. Those blondies look amazing. I plan to make some boxed brownies today. The lazy approach, but I’m kinda into eating my feelings this week – *weak laugh*.
Oh boy. This sounds dire. I hope the brownies are therapeutic.
They were DELICIOUS. I topped them with PB and ice cream while they were still warm. *chef’s kiss*
Ugh. GIRLS. These dynamics are starting in Dorothy’s life, and she is doing her best to stay out of it and just be NICE and HAPPY and BUBBLY, but ugh. Those blondies look great!
If Dorothy can be nice and happy and stay out of it- she’s awesome. Good luck with the upcoming teen years!
I am very guilty about stewing for days on end over some off hand comment that didn’t mean anything. I don’t know the solution but I definitely have the problem.
The blondies look amazing! (1) they’re great for every season (2) they’re a bit unusual (in a good way) so it’s not likely that anyone else will bring the same thing, and (3) it’s 9:30 in the morning and I would very much like to have one – yes right now at 9:30 in the morning.
And also – having a ton of NaBloPo posts to read is a GOOD thing. Bring on the 1000 word posts!
That’s funny because when I asked my daughter why she wanted to bring those, she said it was a unique dessert that no one else would bring! You and she are on the same page! We have plenty left over (it turned out everyone brought desserts and they all ended up feeling ill, ha ha) – too bad I can’t send you one.
Oh those butterscotch brownies.
I have no idea why girls are so mean to each other. No fun.
I hope she was able to sort it out.
Thank you Tobia! She definitely survived the Friendsgiving intact, so that’s good.
Girls are so mean!!! Ugh. Those blondies look good though!
November is going good so far but I need to tackle photo calendars TODAY. Ugh. I do not want to!
All you people with your photo calendars and fancy Christmas cards are giving me an inferiority complex!
Boys can be mean, too. My son has this one friend who is perfectly pleasant in person but tends to go off the rails when they play online. I struggle how to handle it best but usually so far they seem to figure it out. Sigh. Why are we so emotionally invested in this? I feel like I could help much better if I could be more of an objective observer. My husband is much better with this.
Yes, I guess you’re right. My son never had issues like this, but that may have just been luck. And yes- it’s so hard NOT to get overly invested in our kids’ ups and downs.
“Of course, there are plenty of situations where we certainly wish someone’s best were, ahem, a little bit better”… haha, isn’t that the truth? I really hope everybody is doing their best. And I am glad you were able to put the nagging thoughts about your daughter’s situation to rest because as you said, she’s old enough to handle it and you had done all you could do (by talking things over with her the night before – now it was up to her to handle it).
Well, I always want to believe people are doing their best but sometimes it’s like “REALLY? That’s their best?” Ha ha… trying to keep it positive.
November is fine, as long as I don’t think about the forever darkness looming ahead. LOL. I am so dramatic about short days and probably should live somewhere else. I will also say that scheduling has been a bit of a challenge with my new job, but that will sort itself out in time, I think. I feel like this has been ranty and complainy. Good news! We got a new washer and dryer! My dog and cat are adorable! They had Thanksgiving cards at Hallmark, so I can get those in the mail soon!
Ooh, a new washer and dryer! That must feel LUXURIOUS.
Believe me, I know that feeling of the impending doom descending in November. That’s why I live in Florida! But living in Florida has a whole new set of issues so… you’re probably doing well enough up there with your SAD lamp.
I have never had the mean girl thing in my life, thankfully. My daughter had one girl who she thought was a friend treat her very badly via group text once, and it was really upsetting. I feel like boys can be just as horrible, but I’ve never been one or had one. But stories my husband tells me about how competitive and mean they can be give me this impression.
I wish I could believe that everyone is doing their best. Sometimes I think people are doing their worst.
Your daughter sounds like she was brought up by a strong woman who helped her learn to be the same way. 🙂
Also, butterscotch blondies sound amazing, but I confess – I often find butterscotch too sweet. I know, I’m weird. Now, blondies with dark chocolate? I might be able to get behind that… 🙂
Ughhhhh friend drama. It’s just so hard. I’m glad your daughter has thick skin and I hope she wasn’t too bothered by those comments. Why do girls have to be so petty and MEAN at that age?
No special challenges for me this month (other than NaBloPoMo, of course!). I’ve been pretty happy with the month so far, so I can only hope that continues!
I think it can be easier to shrug off something said to/about us than when it’s our kids that are dealing with it, so understandable, but yes, it is annoying to loose some of you day to that.
I SO hear you on the over-identifying with the kids’ problems thing. Just going through something with an older kid on a slightly different level. I tell HER the ‘if worrying can’t help, why worry’ thing and then worry copiously myself. Managed to stay even about it and today things took a turn for the better, so calling it a win.
Poison apple pie, hee hee. I always forget about blondies and I like them!