Happy Friday! This is a very exciting day because our high school football seasons starts with a home game tonight!!! This is my absolute favorite part of the school year, and I’m soaking in every moment.
In other news, I finished this book:
I loved it so much!!! It’s a retelling of Cinderella from the stepmother’s point of view. You might be thinking, if it’s a story we all know, then we know how it ends, right? Would it surprise you to hear that I stayed up late at night reading because I had to find out what happened? It’s not just a retelling, but a reimagining of the story, with a HIGHLY satisfying ending.
Remember the exploding oven door? Well, it took a week, but the new oven has arrived, darn it! It turns out last week was pretty great. I didn’t have to cook, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about it. I made great use of the air fryer and microwave (did you know you can even toast nuts in the microwave?) I made simple things, like sandwiches with air fried tofu and canned chili. One morning I felt like making pancakes, but then just made waffles instead. See? I don’t need an oven!
On to the next house disaster. Now our TV antenna has stopped working, so we can’t get any network channels. This wouldn’t normally be an emergency (we have several streaming channels including MLB where we’ve been watching the Marlins) but preseason football is starting AND I CAN’T WATCH IT. This is a travesty. We need to fix this ASAP.
One last thing. On my post about the first day of school, someone asked in the comments if my daughter knows I have a blog. She does know I have a blog (it’s at her insistence that her face is blurred out of the photos) but she doesn’t read it.
But then I started thinking- what if she did read it? How would I feel? I realized almost everything I write about her is negative. There was a while where we were really butting heads, and the relationship was difficult. But nowadays we’re getting along pretty well. Of course there are still hard moments, but I think that’s true with most teenagers. Now it’s just out of habit that I write about the negative things- I’m not as likely to say “Angie said something funny today” or “Angie and I had a nice talk.” I’m pretty sure everyone assumes this, but I want to make it clear that I love my daughter! She’s an unusual person, but has a lot of great qualities. I’m going to stop being so negative about the relationship on the blog from now on.
Have you read Lady Tremaine?
Are you watching preseason football???
25 Responses
Oh I just started Lady Tremaine. I love a good re-telling/ re-imagining, so I’m really interested to see how things go – I’m really enjoying putting together the plot points and correlations so far.
Sometimes I feel like I write too much/ only positive things about my kids on my blog. I’m not saying that I’m toxically positive about them, but I find that the harder parenting things … well, I don’t know… I guess I feel like all the teenage angst my oldest gives me is mundane and not interesting, you know? Like I always think, “Aren’t all teenagers whiny hermits who spend too much time on youTube? Who wants to read about that?” But maybe they aren’t all whiny hermits. Maybe it’s just mine.
Anyhow, all to say – I appreciate you keeping it real. And even in the hard stuff that you write about, I feel your love for her and what a cool person she is.
And also – I’d love to hear about the neat and funny things Angie says and does (if she lets you.) . (There was one year when I was having a really hard time with my oldest, I had a notebook and I would force myself to write down one positive things about her every day. Some days it was really hard, not going to lie.)
Ooh, I like that idea! I had a phase like the one you’re talking about, and that would have been helpful. It would still be helpful now. I definitely think if you focus on people’s positive sides, they’ll show you more of it.
I hope you like Lady Tremaine!!! i’m pretty sure you will.
I passed by Ladt Tremaine in the library- I’m not sure I’d like it, but all this praise for it makes me doubt my choice!
Oh, teenage daughters- they evoke a bunch of strong emotions. And you process some of what she and you say here on the blog so you can think more clearly about it ( and so you don’t pull out your hair when she’s frustrating! Like the driven by parent comment on the first day of school!) ( One of my daughters- I know I’d write about how she complains too much and makes drama where none is needed, but really she’s so hardworking and kind and takes such care with her younger siblings. ) I take as read that there are lots of great things about Angie , and you have a good time together!
Enjoy the football game! I’ll be volunteering with the marching band tonight – moving pit instruments out for their performance. I can watch the band and not have to sit through the game! ( I don’t like football.)
Ha! I love watching the game AND the band! I just wish it weren’t 90 degrees at game time- the heat made it uncomfortable.
Yes, teenagers are complicated and multi-faceted! Especially girls (that’s been my experience). We definitely have to focus on the positives.
Ah, that’s so sweet, what you say about your daughter. Of course we all know you love her to bits! But she’s also hilarious, especially when she’s annoyed. 😂
I think the ordinary moments, when everything is going well, just don’t seem as worth writing about. The funny stories and the teenage drama naturally make for better blog material!
And honestly, I think if she ever did read your blog, she’d probably find it hilarious too, especially in a few years when she has some distance from the teenage years. She might even appreciate the stories eventually!
That is true! She might find these stories funny… in a few years.
I agree that we tend to focus/talk more about negative things and forget the million reasons we love who we love.
my family knows I have a blog but none of them are interested enough to read them, maybe one day, and I wouldn’t mind.
My husband sometimes reds my blog, but he usually forgets about it. Think of the things I could be writing about him! Just kidding…
I think it’s easier to focus on the negative things than the positive ones in life in general! But it would be nice to read more about the positive interactions with your daughter. I know a lot of teen daughters butt heads with their moms — my sister being one of them when she was a teen — but I didn’t really have much of that with my mom, maybe because we have more similar personalities. Not that I don’t ever get annoyed with her because I do but I also think that’s natural in the mother daughter relationship!
Let’s see… I definitely got annoyed with my mom, but I think I bottled things up more. We didn’t usually fight, or even argue. That’s the good part- the bad thing is I really didn’t tell her personal things about my life. Angie doesn’t tell me everything, but she does tell me a lot of personal things that I never would have discussed with my mom. So that’s a positive thing right there!
I have had the blog since 2008, and my assumption is that everyone will read it. This is not true: my kids do not read the blog, for the longest time my husband didn’t (he does now, in his gentle retirement years), my MIL and dad don’t. But when I write I make sure that I’m writing things that I wouldn’t be worried/ embarrassed about if I saw someone in person. That’s kind of my barometer – I might be annoyed with my MIL, but I’m not going to put it on my blog because someone could read it and tell her about it. Once I talked about my son’s school trip and how boring it was, and HIS TEACHER EMAILED ME to say how important the field trip was to their social studies curriculum. IMAGINE. So I am very careful to write my own stories, you know? That said, teenagers are going to teenager, and sometimes heads are going to butt, and it’s okay to vent!
I loved Lady Tremaine, what a good book that was! Also, I was trying to think what I would do if I didn’t have a stove, and it would be VERY difficult for me. But I do enjoy cooking and baking.
Oh wow- I definitely wouldn’t imagine that any of Angie’s teachers would be reading my blog! There aren’t many people IRL that I share this blog with- not that they couldn’t find it on their own, but it seems unlikely. Still, I do keep it in mind when I’m writing posts- it is public, after all.
I am so excited to read Lady Tremaine. I am SLOWLY working my way up the holds list. 8 weeks to go, I think?? Will report back.
I try to have a balanced approach to blogging. There are certain happy things I don’t write about and certain sad things I don’t write about. Also, as much as possible (and this wouldn’t work for you obviously!), I try to not specify which child it is if I’m writing about a hard thing that might seem person (like I might say: “There were some big emotions from one child this week when a planned friend meetup fell through last minute.” That way I get to vent about it, but it’s still quasi-private. And my daughter DOES now read my blog. My parents know I have a blog, but I don’t share the link. I like having a bit of anonymity with the people closest to me in my direct sphere.
Teen girls are hard. Full stop. I didn’t blog about this, but there was a night this week where our daughter was sobbing and very upset (because she had been cruel to her brother and very disrespectful and we called her on it and then she broke down and said she wanted to move out the second she graduated high school and might not even come back at Christmas because she knows she’s not wanted or loved… and it was late at night and I let her cry, gave her a hug, tucked her in… and then next morning she was fine.)
I couldn’t simply let her poor behaviour just slide (in terms of being cruel/disrespectful), but I also knew there were some things happening in the background that were making her sad (being a teen girl is HARD). So I firmly highlighted what was not okay, and then let her be wildly emotional.
The next day she came to me and said: Mom, I’ll make sure to always come home at Christmas. I will admit when she said that she wouldn’t come home at Christmas I was sad but told myself she was in a very emotional state… and didn’t push back. And sure enough it was big emotions and she knows I showed up for them.
BUT IT WAS EXHAUSTING, JENNY. EXHAUSTING.
YEP. I’ve been through scenes like those. I can really picture it- her emotions just got more and more out of control, and then she said the worst thing she could think of, which is that she wouldn’t come home for Christmas. I love how the next day she assured you that she WOULD always come home. That’s sweet. And, you handled it beautifully. You didn’t say she was making a big deal out of nothing, you didn’t continue to accuse her of misbehaving, you just let her vent. It’s good (but hard) to remember that teenagers brains and emotions aren’t working like ours.
I have not read Lady Tremaine. I don’t know that I’d gravitate to a book like that, but you are very convincing and my interest is peaked. I do not watch preseason football. I admit that I don’t watch much football at all, unless the Bears are on a winning streak. I guess I’m a fair weather fan. I did find out at orientation that all of Curly’s home games will be played online for free, so that’ll be the sport I choose to watch . . . unless of course I happen to be watching in person. Fingers crossed.
I look forward to hearing the flipside of Angie. I trusted it was there. I get how the blog can be a great place to vent. Glad you’ve decided to share the positive stuff too.
Happy cooking – in your new oven! Does Frigidaire pay for that? (the new oven, not your cooking services). They should.
I didn’t think I would like Lady Tremaine either, but I decided to trust the good reviews, and I was happy I did!
You will have lots of basketball to watch! That’s amazing you can see the games for free. I guess your main “sport” is tailgating, lol. You definitely know how to do that in style!
We use a Mohu Leaf antenna for each television in the house, and it works great. Have you ever heard of/tried these? They’re pretty cheap ($34-75, depending upon the type/range), and are able to be placed inobtrusively.
Congrats on your new oven…? It sounds like you might not want an oven anymore! If it weren’t for easy sheet pan dinners, I probably wouldn’t, either.
I have pretty much the same Blogging About Family standard that Nicole does. The internet is forever, you know?
Yep- you guys have the right idea. And… I will check out that antenna for sure!!!
I am not a football watcher, although I love that it’s your favourite time of the year, but that book sounds right up my alley. I don’t think anyone who reads your blog would think you don’t love your daughter – sometimes you just need to vent about stuff. I do blog about my kids, and they’re both okay with the stuff I talk about. My general rule has been that I wouldn’t post anything that they would be embarrassed about ten years later. I barely cook in the summer anyway, so losing my oven for a bit would not be a huge hardship, but glad you have a new one.
Honestly, it’s not like I want to actually bake anything. But we couldn’t even use the stovetop, and that got inconvenient.
I think you would like the book!
I have never thought you’ve been overly negative about Angie. I think a lot of times you share stories with a sort of tongue-in-cheek tone. Like when she made comments about how you look in glasses. It’s clear how much you adore her. If you didn’t, you would not be so distraught about this being her senior year.
My blog is private right now but it’s not anonymous and some family members read it but I don’t know who… so I always write with the understanding that a friend or family member might read it. Also Phil is intensely private so I try to not share anything that would bother him. He had been reading it before it went private and said he didn’t understand how anyone would be interested in reading about going to kid birthday parties and other mundane topics. But he is an under-sharer in general…. I try to be real about life with young kids. Our younger child is also the more challenging one and I’m pretty forthcoming about that. I adore him but parenting him is so vastly different than parenting Paul!!
I’m glad you have a functioning oven again! But it sounds like you came up with some easier meals that don’t require an oven which is nice!!
It’s funny that Phil couldn’t understand how anyone would be interested in what you’re writing about. That is definitely a guy’s perspective! Can you imagine if our husbands had blogs, and they were writing things like “Here’s my week of outfits. I need advice on haircare products. I’m really happy that my wife can drive the kids to school on Friday so I can have some ‘me’ time…” and all the husbands were reading and leaving comments… I’m actually laughing, thinking about it. Definitely not a guy thing!
Try the antennae! It could be a game changer for you. They didn’t work for us, because we live in a townhome complex and can’t get the right angle to the sky or something. Same with a dish on our roof, due to trees. Neighbors can do both, but not us. But it works really well for them, so maybe it will work well for you!
Oh, teen daughters. My daughter was easier than many, but I think that’s because she had an eating disorder in middle school, and that entire experience changed our family dynamics. It was so horrific and scary. She has some pretty severe anxiety too, which I don’t write about. I think we went through it all early is what I’m saying. And I never wrote about it on my blog, because I didn’t feel like it was my story to tell. And I don’t write about tough times with my husband because he reads my blog. I mean, things are good with us, but we all have our struggles sometimes, right?
I mean, I guess I’m just going to be the odd person out. I think you’re harsh about Angie a lot of the time. Even in this post you say “she’s an unusual person” and she seems just like a regular teen girl to me. I don’t know. Feel free to delete this if you like. As the non-preferred child, I will say that my parents’ dismissal of my interests and goals had lifelong consequences. There’s a scene in Gilmore Girls when Lorelei is talking with Lane when Lane was pregnant. Lane was so excited to teach her kids about music and the things Lane loves, but Lorelei had to say “what if your baby likes church? or reading? or something completely different than you?” Just because she’s interesting in hair/makeup/body modification/whatever doesn’t make her some sort of creature from another dimension. I think Angie sounds rad and that we could have lots of interesting conversations, just the same way I think you sound rad even though I don’t run, eat vegan, or think it’s okay to start celebrating fall in August.
I once wrote a scathing post about my SIL and that’s how I found out that HER sister reads my blog and I had a lot of explaining to do. So now I don’t talk about family much, even though we’re currently going through an estrangement with my mom’s side of the family (long story), and I still have some irritations with my SIL that I just don’t write about.
I always appreciate when people are super honest about challenging relationships on their blogs, though! I think it’s apparent that you love Angie but also… she’s a teenage girl and they are very frustrating! If my mom had a blog when I was a teenager, I’m sure there was a LOT she would have said about me, hahaha. I do think it’s good, though, to always think about how your words might impact someone who is reading. So I always write with the expectation that the people I’m talking about ARE reading my blog (or may read it some day in the future).