Our internet is back! And just in time for my son’s last concert at Baylor. We’ve live streamed every one of his concerts for the past four years, and I would have been crushed if I had to miss this one.
You’ve probably heard people say there’s a last time you’ll ever pick up your child, and while it’s happening you’re not even aware it’s the last time. I’ve come to see many things like that- you never know when it’s going to be the last football game, concert, or race.
You might be thinking, “Don’t be ridiculous! I know exactly when my kid’s last high school band concert will be- spring of his senior year!” Well, my son’s last high school band concert was December of his junior year. That March- 2020- he went home from school for spring break and never went back to high school. Definitely didn’t see that one coming.
Now I’m hyper aware of potential and concrete “lasts”. You don’t know if your kid might break their arm, decide they suddenly hate soccer, or God forbid, something worse could happen. So, go to EVERY SINGLE EVENT and appreciate it as if it’s the last one. You never know.
Back to the Baylor concert- along with 30 other students, my son was honored as a graduating senior. It meant a lot to me to see this, because once again, we never got any kind of recognition or closure from his high school years (as I always have to point out- my son couldn’t care less about high school at this point. I’m the only one who will probably be sad about this forever).
In other (but slightly related) news, my daughter and her friends are driving me crazy with their constant demands for rides. Yesterday, due to a complicated testing schedule, my daughter and her friend had no school. It was my day off work, so obviously I wanted to spend it running an Uber service. In the morning we went to the gym (picking up and dropping off her friend as well) and in the afternoon they wanted to go to the arcade. The arcade is 30 minutes away. And can we also drive Abby and Luc? (Luc is a graduating senior, and this could be none of my business, but maybe it’s time to get your license, Luc???)
As I chauffeured kids to and fro (thinking about all the ways I would rather be spending my day off) I reminded myself that in two years my daughter will be off to college, and I’ll miss these days! I have to tell myself to slow down, soak it all in, and appreciate every single day. It goes so fast! I frequently stop and tell myself “THIS IS IT.” This is my time with her.
Slow down, time!
Do you ever think “this is the last time I’ll do xxx?” Does it make you sad?
Top photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash
19 Responses
“The last time” is such a strange realization…
I’m glad your internet is back.
Enjoy Paul’s concert!
(And tell Luc to get their DL lol)
Ha ha, I will Maya! Of course my daughter is 16 and she doesn’t have hers, so I can’t really be talking.
“This is it” is such a great mantra. Time goes by way too fast!
I’m so glad you got to see your son’s concert! How nice to have that closure after the pandemic screwed up his senior year!
Thanks Suzanne! Yes, having closure really makes a difference.
I do the same! For example, when I ran the Boston Marathon last month, I knew this would most likely be the ONE AND ONLY time in my life. When our flight left the airport, I thought: this might be the last time we visited the US.
That awareness of something being the only or last time adds an unexpected tenderness to everything. It’s like the moment sharpens, and you feel it more deeply. Bittersweet, yes – but also kind of beautiful.
Yes, I agree Catrina! Being aware it’s the last time makes you feel things more deeply. I hope it’s not your last time in the US, but it could be. It’s a weird moment when you realize these things.
Wahhhh Jenny, this post makes me sad! I think ours are in the same grade, right- finishing up sophomore year? I have been feeling SO GUILTY because I literally have not made it to any of Ethan’s high school tennis matches this spring. A bunch have been far away, like all day/overnight events on FRIDAYS (why?!? This is annoying for many reasons- including the fact that he keeps having to miss school!), and then the regular matches are ALSO often kinda far away and seem to start sooo early! Like they release them from school by 2:00 and they’re playing by 3:30 or so. I often have meetings etc and with longer drives, it’s just HARD. Ugh. Ethan seems to care not at all- in fact a couple times he told me he has played well when I’m NOT there so maybe I jinx him when I’m there. HA. But I still keep having those same thoughts, like I said in my post yesterday. He only has 2 years after this to play high school tennis- and as you say today, those aren’t even necessarily guaranteed!! Alright, that’s it- I’m checking the schedule now for next week and if I have to miss some work to go, I’m doing it- I’m going to catch a few of these matches!! On the other hand, I have been to a million of his sporting events over the years, so I know that objectively, I am a good sports mom and I HAVE been there and I know I don’t have to feel guilty. (But I still sorta do, lol)
I still can’t get over the driving thing! Is that common in your area for kids to just not get their licenses?! Here all the kids get their license right at 16 or usually within 6 months or so at the most, after. I can’t wrap my head around them preferring to have parents driving them around?? Is your daughter going to start drivers ed sometime soon do you think or is she just nervous about it all? I forget exactly how old she is- she’s over 16 and eligible, right?
Oh geez, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty, lol. That does sound hard, and if there are lots and lots of sporting events, it would be hard to get to them all!
About the driving… my daughter’s best friend will be turning 16 soon and I think she’ll get her license soon after. I know she’s been practicing. My daughter has no interest at all in driving, and a lot of kids seem to feel that way. Honestly… driving around here is crazy. I remember learning to drive as a teenager, and I was driving around nice, sane roads in my town. We have a lot of busy roads and very aggressive drivers here. Since she doesn’t feel ready, I haven’t pushed it because honestly I don’t want ANOTHER hike in our insurance! So maybe I should quit complaining about being an Uber driver, ha.
Now that you mention it, I’m not an uber driver anymore! I don’t think it was that long ago, and I don’t remember when I stopped being one. It took the boys FOREVER to learn to drive and the last little lick of The Uber Years were very frustrating. And now it’s not a thing anymore.
There are some lasts that make me sad, but usually the end of one thing is the beginning of another. We don’t have all of the quirky little kid things in our house anymore, very soon we won’t have anyone in high school, and next fall we’ll have an empty nest since both of the boys will be living at college. So it should be the start of some very fun but different years.
Doh! I just realized that every time we had a snow day this winter that I kept teasing #2 that it might be his last snow day. And here we are. It’s unlikely that we will have snow in the next two weeks so the last snow day has come and gone without us knowing.
Aw… you had the last snow day!!! And you’re very right- the end of one thing is the beginning of another. And you’re right about another thing- these things seem frustrating while you’re in them but they don’t last forever. When I look back, the Uber driver years will seem short.
Oh, I get it. I mean, I don’t remember the last time a lot of things happened, they just…didn’t happen anymore! And although it’s tiresome driving around, I have always found time in the car with the kids to be kind of great. It’s almost like they can talk more when you’re concentrating on the road. I also loved eavesdropping on their conversations with friends, it was like they forgot I was there half the time.
Oh! And a few of my boys’ friends were super slow getting their licenses and I thought it was strange. In fact, my son’s roommate – who is a good friend of my other son’s, from Calgary – NEVER got his license. He’s 20! And he doesn’t even have a learner’s permit! I find that SO weird. It’s such a life skill, unless you live in NYC. Here in Kelowna, the transit system is not great, and yet he doesn’t drive.
Well- my son didn’t get his license until right before he went to college. He had his permit for years, and finally that summer I was like YOU NEED A DRIVERS LICENSE. He literally got it days before we left for college. And now he drives all over the place with confidence, so…. it all worked out. I do think adults should have a license though!
I’m not a parent but I do think the “last time” applies to a lot of things in life! We never know when things will change and that the things we’re doing now will end, so it’s great to soak them up while we can, even if there are things we’d like to complain about.
I’m really glad the internet issue was resolved so you could see your son’s concert!
Yep- more soaking in, less complaining. That should be my new mantra.
I know people who NEVER got their license and I just can’t imagine. I know people who have CHILDREN and don’t have their license. How can you be a parent and not be able to drive???!!! I spend so much time in the car.
I do think about lasts a lot. It’s such a delicate, bittersweet balance. I think it’s easier to treasure “lasts” when kids are older. The last time I put a kid down for a nap doesn’t linger on my radar, but I HATED MANAGING KID NAPS. I do find it hard to believe my daughter is about to graduate middle school and this will be the last time both kiddos are in the same school which boggles my mind.
The main area I think about lasts right now is in terms of my parents. Gah. As you know, sometimes it really gets me in the feels…
The only “last” experience that makes me a little sad so far is that I did not know that my last time breast feeding Will would be my last time. I planned to wean him before I an upcoming work trip but then I got the stomach flu that majorly dehydrated me so it made sense to be done at that point. I didn’t necessarily LOVE breast feeding and it meant I had to do bedtime as he was only eating at bedtime at 16 months, and less for calories, more for comfort.
I am glad your internet was restored so you could watch Paul’s final college concert! I am glad he had a proper “closing ceremony” since he didn’t get that in HS!
I had to drive middle school carpool once, and I cannot unhear some of the conversations they had. Of course now all the kids have phones so driving carpool is largely a silent affair and I find myself wishing that they would go back to having some of those wild conversations out loud. My 13 year old and her friend have voice lessons back to back and they spend the car ride to lessons *texting each other* rather than talking. What that what?
I think you have such a good point about – you know even when you have something marked in your calendar as the “last” time it happens, you never know what is going to happen and if you’ll actually get there.
haha, your post made me feel extra glad I spent 9 zillion dollars on TSwift tickets last year (but seriously I have no regrets at all). I feel like in general if debating whether to go or not go to something the answer is almost always GO. never know if it could be the last opportunity.
I think about it every time I get in the car, to be honest. This is my anxiety. I mean, what if it’s the last time I said goodbye to my husband or walked the dog? Frankly, I have to have a little chat with myself about trying not to freak out about last times. That probably does not help you, does it? When I’m reading a bad book, I always think “what if this is the last book I read?” because I was at a funeral once where they talked about the books on the bedside table of the deceased and I just sort of laughed to myself because the books on my bedside table are always romance and mysteries.