One day my son was telling a story about something going on with a friend that was concerning him, and my daughter said, “But do you really care?” “Of course I care!” My son said indignantly. My daughter said, “Yes, but you know how sometimes you’re supposed to care about something, and you try to care, but you just can’t make yourself actually care?”
Er… yes. I suppose I do know that feeling.
Lately I’ve been re-examining my life, with the intent to either filter out the things I don’t really care about, or go all-in on the ones I do. Let’s start with a small one.
1. Unassisted pull-ups.
For years now I’ve been talking about how I want to do unassisted pull-ups (even one would be nice.) Sometimes I’ll work at it consistently, sometimes I get frustrated and quit, and sometimes I get distracted and do something else instead. Lately I’ve been doing my assisted pull-ups once a week, while thinking “If I want to eventually be able to do these unassisted, I need to do them more often!”
Well, guess what. I don’t really care. If I did, I would be working much harder at it. Vaguely wishing for something, and really putting in the hard work to accomplish it are two different things. I do care about strength training because I know it helps my running, but whether I do unassisted pull-ups or use a band for the rest of my life won’t make that much of a difference to me.
2. Becoming a faster runner.
Care! This one falls in the “really care” category. Over the last couple years my running has slowed to a plod. I’m not a naturally fast runner, but if I work at it I can be competitive in my age group. Races are much more fun that way. But another thing that’s been bugging me lately is my form- every time I look at a video (and I’ve been taking videos frequently) I notice some pretty bad things. One of the things I can do for my form is to incorporate some faster paces into my runs. Plus…running fast is just fun.
3. Qualifying for the Boston Marathon
This one surprised me. I ran my first marathon in my 20s, and ever since then have dreamed of running Boston. Various things have gotten in the way- kids, injuries… now that I’ve aged up a few times (ahem) the BQ is actually a possibility… and while I would still like to get it, I can’t say that I really care.
Don’t get me wrong- I kind of care. I would like to run more marathons, and a BQ will certainly be a time goal at some point. And if I did qualify, and get in, I’m sure I would want to run it (although I have no idea how I would train for Boston, living in the flattest place on the face of this earth.) But once again, vaguely wishing is not the same thing as taking concrete steps towards a goal- i.e. hiring a coach, making a schedule, maybe even making a long-term plan. Since I’m not doing those things I have to admit to myself that I don’t really care.
4. Completing an ultramarathon.
Well, here goes. I’ve been fascinated by ultramarathons for years. At one point I had a 50k picked out and was planning to run it. One problem- I had recently gotten married and at the age of 36 was trying to get pregnant. I was getting my period, but it was very erratic and month after month went by with no luck. Finally my biological clock ticked louder than my ultra clock, and I decided to skip the ultra and skip long runs for one month. The next month I got pregnant. The years went by and it started to seem ridiculous to plan for an ultra, when I couldn’t even train for a regular marathon without getting injured.
Then I heard the Jason Fitzgerald podcast with Dean Karnazes. Jason asked Dean what advice he had for people wanting to get into ultrarunning, and Dean said “If you have the notion, you have to do it.”
Dean and Jason agreed that no one has ever finished an ultra and regretted it- but you will regret it if you never try. So… this one is back in the “really, really care” category. That means doing some research, truly getting to the bottom of my injury problems, and doing whatever needs to be done. Hopefully that won’t involve unassisted pull-ups, or I’ll have to go back and amend point #1.
Is there anything you feel like you’re supposed to care about, but don’t really care?
Who’s done an ultra? Do you have any desire to do one?
9 Responses
(Raises hand) Yes, I’ve done two ultras … both on the same course, but one was in 2015 (6-hour overnight event) and the other in 2016 (I went back and did the 12-hour). Both were fun, but tough (in different capacities). And the endorphins were out-of-this-world! After the 12-hour, which started at 11PM, I was so jacked on runners high I didn’t sleep until almost 10 hours after finishing LOL Both recaps are in the archives of my blog, in July of both 2015 & July of 2016 if you’re interested. As for Boston… not a priority for me, though the aging-up aspect is more in my favor now 🙂
I’ll go back and read those recaps! I love race recaps, especially ultras.
Yes, yes, yes! Jenny, if you’re thinking about an ultra then you HAVE to do an ultra.
They are tough but it’s a satisfying feeling when you cross that finish line.
Your number 2: I care about pace, too! I agree, running faster will automatically fix some of your form issues.
I had a feeling you would agree with the ultra goal, Catrina! I was definitely motivated when I read your race recap.
people ask me all the time if I am going to run a marathon and no, I am not. I don’t have a desire to. I also never really cared about running Boston. You are right, we do throw our energy into the people and things we really do care about
Yes, it’s kind of funny how all runners are kind of “expected” to want things like Boston. It’s good you’re being honest with yourself, so you can focus on the things you do care about.
Kids say the darnedest things. Mine are: pullup – exactly what you said, don’t care, getting faster – I really really care, Boston – don’t care, ultra…yeah right now that’s a no but I would like to run a marathon at least once and I feel like if I did that then I’d consider moving up.
Ah, so I would say we’re like around 3 and 1/2 out of 4 in agreement on these topics!