Last Sunday was the first day of my son’s spring break. I cooked two huge meals, did loads of laundry, went grocery shopping, got caught up with my son and dealt with the usual daily dramas of my fourteen-year-old daughter. As I got into bed that night I told my husband I was exhausted and he said “Yes, it was a full day.”
Interesting, because I was thinking it had been a “busy” day. But as soon as he said that, it shifted my perspective. “Busy” implies lots of chores, a time crunch and has a slight unpleasant undertone. “Full,” on the other hand, has such a satisfying sound. Our house was full. Our stomachs were definitely full. And, at the risk of sounding cheesy, my heart was full.
It reminded me of a passage from a book I recently read, Helen Dunmore’s A Spell of Winter. The main character and her brother are preparing to go on a long walk in the country. She says “I was full of excitement. I wanted to walk miles and come home with my whole body aching.” (I know that feeling!)
She could have said “I was excited” but I absolutely love how she said “I was full of excitement.”
I’m always fascinated by words, and noticing how different words can change my perspective. The next time I’m extremely busy at work, I’m going to say “I have a full day” (and appreciate how lucky it is to have an abundance of clients.) I won’t, however, go around saying things like “I’m full of excitement” or “I’m full of happiness” because that would sound kind of… odd. I’ll be thinking it though!
Do you have any words you love to use?
Have there been any words lately that shifted your perspective?
19 Responses
Interesting perspective.
I always think of the the word “full” relating to food. Meaning I’ve eaten too much!
Lately, it’s been the word “tired”
Tired- physically -haven’t slept well.
Tired – repetitive work tasks
Tired – deciding what to cook for dinner
Tired mentally – dealing with work drama.
Tired of not being able to do things that bring me joy – hiking, running, racing.
Yes, that’s a whole other topic. I used to feel very uncomfortable when my stomach was full, and preferred to feel hungry. I’m trying to shift that as well- not that I want to overeat, but I don’t want to go around hungry all the time. I’m trying to think of “full” as being “nourished.” So I guess that’s another perspective shift I need to work on!
Oh, Jenny, I love this slight shift in framing. It is a really good reminder that the words we use have real impact on our perspective of events. And I love that your heart was full. Such a wonderful feeling.
Yes, it was a good reminder. Now I have to be aware of other words I can change to make things more positive.
What a lovely way to think about things! Full and happy, not busy and burdensome!
My husband used to say “that’s not a bad idea,” until one day I asked him why he couldn’t just say it was a good idea. Now we’re a “that’s a good idea” household. We try to phrase things in the positive when we can, although this is challenging for us because we’re both sort of pessimistic worrywarts. But! We’re trying to change.
Ha, that’s a good shift. “That’s not a bad idea” somehow implies that most of your ideas ARE bad. Why phrase it that way when you can simply say something is a good idea?
A full day! I like this. Enjoy spring break!
Thank you! We’re having a nice week.
Many years ago I read about using the word full instead of busy to describe life and I still love it. I can use it even on days with not much going on because my life as a whole is full of happy things. Great post!
Yes, great point. Like doesn’t have to be “busy” in order to be full. Life is always full.
Something that shifted my perspective several years ago was replacing the words “I don’t have time to do x” with “x is not a priority to me” and see how it feels. Example, if I think “I don’t have time to have coffee with my friend” I will say “my friend is not a priority to me” and if that feels wrong then I need to change it. Some friends/ friendly acquaintances may not be a priority to me, and I feel like that is okay. But if saying “she is not a priority” feels wrong, then I need to figure out a way to carve out time for that friend. It has made a huge difference! It can be used in every situation – not just spending time with people but how I spend my time. Is cleaning the bathroom a priority? YES. So I make time for it. Is mindlessly scrolling on my phone a priority? No, so I can cut it out – or maybe do it when I have a slow day. It has been life-changing, honestly.
Yes, I love this. It’s a great way to get your priorities in order. There have been some things I “don’t have time for” like going to the gym for strength training more often, but then I have to assess the situation and accept that it’s not a priority right now. You can’t focus on everything all the time. On the other hand, like you said if it doesn’t feel good to say something’s not a priority, then you can make a change.
I am such a HUGE fan of reframing. I’ve had a very FULL day (and a full week, month, year?!) to be honest and can’t think of great examples off the top of my head, but I love, love, love this sort of thing. And really appreciate your example of replacing “busy” with the word “full.” Very timely advice for me!
Lately, I have been buckling down with new favourite quotes/mantras. Today I saw Laura Vanderkam mention: “There is a time for X, and now is not that time.” I wrote it in the front of my daytimer (with my growing collection of new favourite quotes), and I’m excited to apply this thinking to my life. For example, I’ve heard people suggest actually scheduling in time to worry. When anxious thoughts creep up, you can remind yourself you actually have a dedicated time in your calendar to worry. Perhaps more relatably, instead of lamenting the state of my floors, I can say: each Saturday morning I’ll mop the floors. So, if they look horrible on Wednesday, I can tell myself: “There is a time for mopping floors, and now is not that time.”
Words can definitely have the power to change our perspective. Busy sometimes has a negative connotation in today’s world. I like full a lot better too. Hope you enjoyed your time with your son
Thank you Deborah! I’m definitely enjoying his last couple days here.
I use the word full to describe our weekend days! They are full of plans but I prefer that to having fewer things to do. Everyone is happier when our day is full! I don’t use that word as much for my work days, I think because they are less under my control! But full is a better and more positive word than busy!
Your weekend days are DEFINITELY full!
Oh, Jenny, this is so lovely! I really appreciate this reframing device. I try to remember to be grateful for the FULLNESS of a “busy” weekend because that usually means I get to see friends and do fun things, even if that also means I won’t get as much rest or time to myself. Or a day where I have so many meetings can be seen as a full day where I get to talk with my coworkers, most of whom I really like! This is great. <3
Yes, changing the wording of things can really make a big difference.