Hi there! I’ve been thinking about some absurd conversations I’ve had with my kids recently, and figured I would share.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I dislike showering. Don’t worry- I DO shower, but it just seems like such a time-suck. i have to get all wet, and THEN I have to dry myself off. Strangely, after I dry myself I still feel damp. What is going on? Do we need new towels? Why can’t we have a machine we could walk through that would dry us instantly?
Surprisingly, we have not gotten to the “foolish” part of this topic yet. When my son was home this summer I was grumbling, as I’m wont to do, about the shower situation, and my son came up with a brilliant idea- “Mom, you should get a buzz cut!”
WHAT??? He explained that it would make the after-shower drying process much easier, and best of all, it would be the “ultimate rejection of vanity.” Well… I think that every time I put on a crop top for running is the ultimate rejection of vanity for me, but we’ll leave that for now. The buzz cut idea was so terrible, I had to laugh. I think he was semi-serious though! Don’t worry- I’m not going to do it (yet! Who knows what could happen as I get older and even more eccentric?)
Moving on. Our cat, Muffin, is usually very affectionate, but every once in a while she’ll get into a mood. A few months ago she hid under the bed for several days and refused to come out. (I think she was coming out while we weren’t around- but for the most part she seemed to be scared of something). My daughter was convinced that Muffin was frightened because there was a ghost in the house. Again, I think she was semi-serious about this, and even invited some friends over to help find the ghost. Apparently the “ghost” left on its own because Muffin eventually resumed her regular activities.
Another time, Muffin went through a phase where she kept meowing strangely at me. Not her usual meow, but almost an elongated yowl. This time, my daughter said “I think she’s trying to tell you that you have cancer.”
NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE. I don’t want to hear that! I did a quick body/health history scan- let’s see, I just had a mammogram and pap test, both were fine, my most recent colonoscopy was completely fine, due for another one next summer, no strange pains or symptoms… I do not have cancer! Er, hopefully.
Kids! I wonder what’s coming up next.
Do you believe in ghosts?- I don’t. Or, if there are ghosts, I’m not worried about them harming me in any way.
Should I get a buzz cut? – Hahahahaha. Please don’t say yes.
Top photo by Buddha Elemental 3D on Unsplash
21 Responses
Oh man – I often get a pixie cut, and I’ve wondered what it would be like to go even shorter and get a buzz cut. I had a friend who cut off all her hair (on her own!) once in a fit of rage. I can’t remember what she was raging about. But then she went to live in a Buddhist community for a while, so she kept her head shaved for about a year or so. I will say, showers are a lot faster when my hair is super short…
I hate showers too – they just seem like a lot of work. I think I like them once I’m in there, but I very rarely want to get in the shower.
WOW. That’s some fit of rage!!! Hopefully I won’t get that angry.
Glad to hear someone else hates showers.
Ha! Kids! They’re so brilliantly direct, even when they’re grown. Maybe a buzz cut would suit you? Only one way to find out!
I don’t actually mind the showering, it’s the whole hair-wash production I resent.
Just this Wednesday I had a lunch appointment, so I couldn’t run beforehand (no time for the full wash-and-dry). Ended up running on a full stomach after lunch instead. A buzz cut would definitely solve that problem!
Ha ha… “only one way to find out”. Not sure I want to find out that badly.
I have a running joke with my husband about us getting matching haircuts. For some reason he doesn’t seem to be into it. The reason why I would never get a super short haircut apart from the fact that I don’t think it would look great is that it would be sooooo awkward to grow out, and there is a 100% probability that I would want to grow it out. Other than that, I would love not to have to dry or style my hair. To be fair, most days I air dry and my “style” is sometimes remembering to brush it, but still.
Yes, my hairstyle is like yours. And… I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t look good with super short hair!
Oh, cat sees “ghosts” happens all the time- it’s probably an animal sound or motion outside that we humans can’t sense. At least that’s what I tell myself when my cats do it.
I did shave off all my hair once – it was falling out from chemo and it was SO annoying. My daughter was also annoyed how I would constantly play with it. So first a hack job with scissors, then a pixie sort of thing ( hair falling out still irritating) so I shaved the rest off. I will say it kept me cooler in the hot weather, but I was wearing knit caps once it got a little cool. I did shampoo my bald dome though, out of habit- not with much more than a froth of soap. However, I love showers ( forget baths-yuck!) And I stink when I sweat, so needed.
Wouldn’t you get sort of crusty from salt if you just dried off? And you skin would get irtitated. And you’d need to maintain the buzz- a frequent haircut also wastes time. Showers really are worth it!
Okay okay, I’ll keep my hair and keep showering.
I didn’t know you went through chemo! Sounds like it was quite a hair journey. I think I would like the “cooler” aspect of a shaved head!
A buzz cut would certainly be a time saver! I can’t imagine having short hair but even having longer hair, my hair care routine is pretty minimal. I usually only have to wash it once a week (I rinse it on other days if it’s particularly sweaty from running), and I usually do that in the evening so it has time to air dry overnight — and in a dry climate it dries pretty fast! And I just let it do its thing, which is to be wavy. When I was in high school I used to straighten it every day, and when I had swimming in PE, I even used a “wet to straight” iron to straighten it while it was wet, which I cringe at now because it was so bad for my hair!
I wash my hair twice a week, and always let it air dry. So… it’s not like my hair routine is time consuming!
Omg- wet to straight iron sounds deadly. Glad you’re embracing your wavy hair these days!
Wait, why would we want to reject vanity? Lol, I am so vain I probably think that song is about me. I’m not with you on this particular topic because I do love a good shower, but I know what you mean about the time it takes. Especially if I wash my hair, it’s a whole process. Maybe it’s hard for you to dry off because of the humidity?
My mother forced me to have short haircuts when I was a child and I have never gotten over that, so I always keep my hair long. I mean, it WOULD be easier to have no hair at all, but I’m not sure that is a look I would embrace.
Lol, your daughter cracks me up.
Ha ha… I guess I’m not ready to reject vanity either. At least, not completely!
Oh man, your kids are really putting you through the ringer – especially Angie’s suggestion that you might have cancer. Come on!!
I do not believe in ghosts. At all. I just think the whole premise is very silly. But I am very practical about these sorts of things!
When I was a child, my mom had my hair cut in a pixie cut/very short and I HATED it. So now I pretty much will never have short hair again now that I have total control over my hair. NOPE. But I am also enjoying having complete control over my kids hair. Will gets a buzz cut and it looks so great on him. He has so many cowlicks in his hair that it works best to just buzz it. Paul’s hair is very different so he doesn’t get a buzz cut, but we get it cut pretty short.
I also had a pixie cut as a kid, and also hated it! Wouldn’t it be funny if Will insisted on having long hair when he’s older…
Jenny, I laughed so hard at this post. Oh my goodness, the things kids will say. Sheesh.
I think I would look so bad in a short haircut, but I do LOATHE and resent any and all time I spend on my hair. I’ve grown it out to the longest it has been in years and it actually takes me a lot less time, now. My hair is curly/frizzy and when it’s short I really have to do something with it (dry it, add product), but long is is so much easier to just toss up into a simple twist or bun. But I haven’t had a trim in…a year? So I’m overdue for getting rid of split ends.
I love showers but I hate dealing with my hair. I don’t love drying my body, but it’s fine, the hair is what is such a nuisance. And, this is 100% on me, but I’m always grumpy when I have to shave my legs. This is optional, but I do NOT like hairy legs so I shave them and I will often postpone my shower for a day just so I don’t face the reality that I need to shave my legs.
Oh yes- don’t even get me started. If I have to shave my legs I’m EXTRA annoyed!
cats are really the strangest thing. I wish I could understand their language to know what’s happening! Ghost? I don’t believe it but maybe because I’m not a cat hahaha…
I already have short hair and still hate showering — mostly because I have to blow dry my hair to not hate it.
I wonder if your cat was sick when she was hiding? Growing up, we had a cat that was very ill for a while, and she hid a lot. Maybe your cat had a virus, and now that she’s better, she’s back to normal?
I enjoy taking a shower, but UGH on drying my hair, I get SO SICK OF THAT. And it takes me very little time, so I don’t know where the resentment comes from.
Ghosts…no, I don’t believe in them, but I wish they were real. I would love to think that my parents or my pets were with me in some way, as long as they were happy and not suffering or something stupid like that.
I feel the same way about showers! I don’t know what it is but just the ACT OF SHOWERING makes me mad. I don’t think cutting off all my hair would solve the issue (or maybe it would because those days when I do a “quickie” shower, aka, not washing my hair, the shower isn’t as annoying), but ughhhhh.
And also – your daughter saying you might have cancer! ACK. What in the world?! Kids, man.
I HATE hair washing days. It’s too much. Drying it takes forever and I get hot and sweaty under the dryer. It’s not the shower I hate – it’s the before and after the shower I hate.
I was teaching a class on American minority politics years ago (maybe eight? – it was pre-COVID) and one of the students said “none of this will be a problem when your generation dies out” and I just stood there openmouthed because I was in my THIRTIES. THIRTIES. How old did he think I was? (Also, based on what’s happened in this country in the last decade, I think we can all admit that intercultural relations in this country are a problem for ALL generations.)