I know I’ve been vaguely alluding to “changes” coming up, and now that it’s official I can finally share…
MY SON IS ENGAGED!
He told us about this over Thanksgiving. While he was home for Christmas the ring arrived, and on Monday he flew out to Waco to be with Isabel. Tonight (New Year’s Eve) he proposed and she said yes! The wedding is planned for this summer.
Okay, let’s break down all the feelings, starting with the good- and it’s almost all good.
I don’t know Isabel that well, but from what I do know, I absolutely love her. She’s made a real effort to reach out to us- she and I have emailed back and forth, and we’ve had several Facetime calls with her, and also her family. And… she really loves my son. That’s enough for me right there!
But… all parents worry about their kids. I’m worried that they’re only 23 and not done with school yet. I’m worried because they’ve only been dating since May- I wish they knew each other longer. I guess when you know, you know, and they feel like they know. They’re eager to start their lives together. They know marriage is hard and that you have to work at it. They’re both very mature for 23. I still worry.
I know I’m not losing a son, I’m gaining a daughter. But I was hyper aware this Thanksgiving and Christmas that this is the last time our family will look like this. It was hard for me to say goodbye to him on Monday, knowing how much everything was about to change. I know change is necessary- he can’t come home for every vacation for the rest of his life and sleep in his childhood bedroom. But it’s still hard for me.
On a lighter note- WHAT IN THE WORLD am I going to wear to the wedding?????? GAAAAH! Remember how I stressed over what to wear to his graduation? I guess I can’t get away with my Athleta skort and croc sandals this time! LUCKILY, I’m still friends with the woman who helped me pick out my own wedding dress, 25 years ago. She’s agreed to help me. Phew- I’m going to need all the help I can get.
I almost forgot the best part- she definitely wants kids. Not right away! But she wants them. I will have grandchildren!!!
Happy New Year!
44 Responses
Congratulations!!
I have son-in-laws, and they enhance the family. One daughter got married at 23 after a year or so of dating- best decision ever. ( Don’t get me started on the ones who dated for over 6 years before finally getting married…)
However, I punted on a dress for the ceremonies. They were not big weddings -just low key. One I just wore a nice older dress I had ( as there was going to be tie-dye water balloon fight at the outdoor reception), one was at a courthouse-I just wore a skirt, and the last -she told me to wear an outfit I had that she liked. I have aa hard time with dresses anymore and get very frustrated trying them on, so I appreciated the easy wedding attire.
You are so fit and slim that you’ll look good in anything! I hope you can find something that fits well and makes you happy.
Oh, thank you!!! Their wedding is not going to be huge, but it will be a church wedding, and I’m sure she’ll be wearing a traditional wedding dress. So I can’t get away with anything I currently own. I do have body issues, which I don’t like to dwell on, but I’m sure I’ll be mentioning it when the dress search commences.
I’m glad to hear about the daughter who married (happily) at the age of 23!
Awww Jenny, what wonderful life changing news. I completely empathize with the mixture of happiness and trepidation. Change – even good change – can feel so dislocating. ❤️
Yes, my mind has really been all over the place these last weeks! “Dislocating” is a great way to put it.
Congratulations Jenny! And wow, the wedding already this summer, how exciting! Although, I’d worry too if they’ve only known each other since May, but I guess you’ll just need to trust them that they know they want to live together. They seem to have a good attitude about it.
And regarding what to wear at the wedding – there are excellent personal shoppers or good people who can help you pick something that suits you if you go to a decent shop. A beautiful dress will do!
Thank you Susanne! I’m hoping my friend will function as a personal shopper, but I will seek our professional help if it comes to that!
Oh wow this is big news! I did not realize they’ve been dating for such a short period of time! But they do sound mature. My sister met her husband during freshman year and then they moved to AZ during her junior year so he could be closer to my dad (which my parents were NOT HAPPY ABOUT) and then 6 months after they moved they got engaged and they got married when they were 21. But then they waited 10 years to have kids so they could enjoy figure out their careers and who they were. So it can work for those with emotional maturity. Phil and I moved much more slowly but that is our personality. Abby and Ryan are very happy and have grown and changed together as a couple so I wish for the same for Paul and Isabel (love her name!!). But it’s a big change for you and your family. I am glad you are getting to know her. And I look forward to more details about their wedding!! But I understand how this is a bittersweet life changing milestone.
Okay, I’m loving these stories of young people getting married and staying happily married. It sounds like your sister and her husband were very thoughtful about their careers/kids, and that’s what Paul and Isabel seem to be doing as well. But yes- it is bittersweet.
Congratulations! Those are lovely photos! We adore our daughter-in-law and it sounds like you do/will love yours too!
Where does her family live? Have they decided where the wedding will be? Or maybe not if he just proposed!
Oh, I think my son proposed on NYE too — it is a romantic time. <3
Thank you Coco! Her family lives in Indiana, and that’s most likely where the wedding will be. It works our nicely because it’s nor far from where my sister is.
CONGRATS JENNY!!! This is huge. GRANDKIDS!!!!!!! (later on of course, when they’re ready).
Sigh, kids these days grow up so fast.
I know Birchie- time just flies by and then they’re suddenly getting married and starting their own families. Sigh… I’m old (but that’s okay- it’s okay for an aspiring Grandma to be old).
Squeal. JENNY!!! This is such exciting news!!!! Obviously, I’ve never met Paul but he seems like the sweetest, most mature, wonderful guy. I wish them a lifetime of happiness!
I was married at 22 which was YOUNG, but I don’t have any regrets. My life likely would look very different if I had been married later, but I wasn’t. I also think there are some major perks to having children at a young(ish) age. There are tradeoffs, of course, but I am so happy that I will be an empty nester before I am 50!!!!! (And hopefully be a grandmother, too.)
That said, I completely understand why you have big emotions. Change is hard and it’s bittersweet to move into new stages of life.
22! That is young, and it makes me feel better to hear all these stories of happy marriages that started at a young age. Yes, there are definitely perks to having kids young- not that I would know. When I was 50 I still had an 8 year old!
That’s fabulous news, Jenny! So happy for you and the family!
Thank you so uch Catrina!
Wow congratulations! What exciting news but definitely the start of a new phase of your family’s life. Change is always a bit challenging even when it’s for great and exciting reasons.
Thank you Sak! Yes, it’s a new phase- and new things take some time to get used to. I guess that’s it- sometimes you just have to get used to a new situation.
Wow, that IS big news! Actually it’s BIG NEWS!!!!! Congratulations to them! 23 is pretty young but I do know a lot of people who got married at that age or younger and it worked out, so I guess when you know you know!
Now, as for the dress. HOW I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU SHOPPING. Oh my god, that would be so much fun. And shoes! You need new shoes, Jenny. Where will the wedding be, what kind of weather are we looking at, I wonder if Isabel has chosen colours, what kind of colour are we looking for, what’s the level of formality, do we go long dress or short, OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED. I mean, you can never go wrong with a neutral like navy. But you could splash out in another colour based on her colours. You know what, I’m just going to pour myself some coffee and be excited about this for a while. I love weddings!!!!
Hahahaha Nicole, I definitely wish we could go shopping together. I don’t know the answers to any of those questions yet, so I can’t start the shopping. I do like the idea of navy though. It will be in the summer in Indiana, so probably hot. I’ll also check in with Isabel’s mother to see what she’s wearing. Oh, and the shoes…. ACK! Is here such a thing as orthotic dress shoes? No? Eek.
Jenny! How exciting! Congrats to your son and Isabel and your family! And, a summer wedding?!? I kind of like that fast follow – enough time to find an outfit but not so much that you have extended time to worry. Maybe that’s just me, though, haha! I don’t have a ton of wedding experience.
Good point- I have plenty of time to get ready, but not too much time to worry. That works!
Wooo! That’s big news Jenny! Congrats!!! When you know you know! 🙂
Thank you Coco! Yep- they know.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented before but I have to say that my husband and I got married at 21 and 22 and have now been married 16 years- of course I look back and wonder WHAT we were THINKING and I’m sure our parents privately had a few nerves but we’re so glad we got married early and were able to “grow up” together!! I have many friends who married in or right out of college who are still happily married, and although I of course also know awesome later marriages, I think it can be really hard to find the right person and navigate dating when you’re older and out of school! Congrats to your son, I hope they’re so happy together!
Leslie, thank you SO MUCH! I really appreciate you commenting, and I love your story. It is nice to hear about so many people who married young and are happy with that decision. I guess there is something about being able to “grow up” together. I can see how it would lead to a very strong partnership as the years go on. I’m glad it worked out for you : )
Congratulations! This is really exciting news! My sister is getting married this summer as well — she and her fiancé have been together since 2020 and got engaged last year, so they’ve definitely known each other for longer, and they’ll both be 30 when they get married.
23 does seem young but my best friend from college married her high school sweetheart back in 2016 when we were 24 and they’re still very happy together!
I’m sure you’ll find something nice to wear, and you still have some time! My sister’s wedding is pretty small and they’re not having a wedding party so I don’t have to wear anything specific but their colors are sage green and lavender so I’m wearing a floral lavender jumpsuit. It’s an outdoor wedding in the pines so not overly fancy.
Ooh! i would be happy with a sage green and lavendar color scheme. I just hope I don’t have to follow a color scheme that involves yellow, because that would make it EVEN HARDER for me to find a dress. Anyway- I guess it just goes to show there are all sorts of ways for a marriage to work. I was in my 30s when I got married- I can’t even imagine marrying in my 20s, I was so immature back then. Congrats to your sister as well!
AHHHH I am so excited for you (and your son) Jenny!! If it helps, I met Josh when I was 22 and I kinda “knew” very early, even though we didn’t officially get engaged until a few years later. Isabel sounds amazing!!
We are all ready and waiting to help with dress opinions!!!
Oh yes I will need help!!! And- that does help. I mean you knew Josh a lot longer before you got engaged, but you felt like you knew at the age of 22, and you were right.
Oh wow, Jenny, that is MAJOR news! First of all, congratulations to your son and his fiancé. They look like a lovely couple. And when you know, you know!
Jon and I had been together for 4 years when we got married, but he was 19 when I met him, so he was 23 when he married me (I am a little older than him LOL). It can work out, especially when they’re emotionally mature and it does sound like they didn’t decide to get engaged on a whim!
I can understand the mixed feelings, but if one thing is certain, it’s change so it’s best to embrace it. He’ll always be your son and you’ll soon not remember a time when his fiancé wasn’t part of your family 🙂
Thank you San! You’re so right- we have to embrace change, there’s no other way. Wow, you and Jon were young when you met and married! Yet another example of people who married young and made it work.
Congrats! Can I tell you about my mother-in-law? She was THE BEST. The first time she met me, she wrapped me in a hug and made me soup. She always bought the snacks I liked and had them in the kitchen when we visited. The year we were engaged, she bought me a Bride’s Set of ornaments and the year we got married she bought me a Waterford ornament. She always told me stories about my husband before I knew him (Baby Ted sounds adorable) and told me how proud she was of him. When I got a promotion at work, she sent me a note and a gift card to treat myself. She treated me like one of hers from the moment I met her. She was also snarky and one time in traffic some guy cut us off and she said “fuck you very much” and I laughed and laughed so hard. She was an angel who left us far too soon. You, Jenny, are going to be as great a mother-in-law as mine was.
It doesn’t matter what you wear to the wedding. If you surround your future DIL with love, that’s what she’ll remember.
But if you’re in the Chicago area and want to go shopping, hit me up. I LOVE to shop.
Thank you Engie, I love this story. It gives me something to aspire to. Seriously- I’ll think about this and how I want Isabel to talk about me like this someday.
Why does everyone seem to like dress shopping except me???
This is lovely news but I can see how it’s bittersweet. My friends Julie and Nigel met when they were 14 and they got married early 20s and are now 60 and gloriously happily married so that’s my contribution! Oh, and I loathe dress shopping. Good luck taking it all in.
this is so exciting! congratulations!!!!!! you are clearly going to be a wonderful MIL, and I look forward to many wedding fashion posts.
This is exciting news, and they are young, but I think when you know, you know. Coach and I were 24 and 25 when we got married and it was the best decision ever. Yes, things will be different – but let’s plan on the different being a good different, right? She sounds lovely and she makes him happy. I look forward to the dress shopping. I do love a good dress shopping spree.
Oh Jenny, what amazing news! Congratulations! And look at that rock!
23 is young to be married, but my husband and I met at 21/22 and we’re still together, so it can definitely be done.
I wish he were marrying a girl from nearby, but hey, maybe they will have kids when they’re ready, and when you retire that will give you the answer of where you want to move. You wouldn’t be the first to make a decision that way.
This is so exciting! I think as a parent it’s super normal to feel nervous about a big change even if it is a positive one. I met my husband when I was 19, and we’ve been together ever since. We did wait to get married until later, but I don’t know that us getting married earlier would have made a negative difference. I do love that we have known each other so long and have grown together. We experienced so many formative growing years together, and that’s a gift.
What exciting news, Jenny. We are twinning as E will be getting married in February, and they are both young (22). I had the exact same thoughts as you regarding dress shopping, but bought the first dress I tried on (I knew it was the one, LOL). It’s only another week or so and we need final numbers for the reception and then I think the weeks will fly by.
What big news! That’s such an exciting change for your family. I understand your reservations, but Paul does seem like he has a good head on his shoulders. If it helps, my brother and his high school sweetheart got married at 21 and are still together! It’s been a bumpy ride, of course, as it is with two people who are growing up together, but it can be a great thing!
hahaha ok as soon as I read the phrase “What will I wear?” I thought, NO JENNY YOU CAN’T WEAR THE CROC SHOES. hehehe!! This is very exciting! I can fully understand your concern about the age thing and all. We got married when I was 23, which now feels SO YOUNG and I think definitely in some ways we probably should have waited a little bit! Everything worked out fine, but it just felt like a lot, I think, starting jobs and marriage and then oh, we decided to have kids like immediately and I had Ethan at 24 and Asher at barely 26!! It was something, that’s for sure! Ha. I am sure since they’re not out of school yet they probably won’t rush that piece, which is probably for the best. It was one thing after another for a few years there and though I don’t regret it, it was a bit of a blur!
What wonderful news.
All the best for you and your family. Your family is growing. How fun.