It’s that time of year where things are getting busy, and I feel the stress. WHY. Why do I let myself get so stressed out, when I truly love the holiday season??? When I sat down to do my planning for the week and realized how busy it is, I told myself, through gritted teeth, “remember you love this!”
There’s something extra (besides work and school) for every day of the week, which somehow makes things crazy. I realize there are people who deal with this all the time- their kids have after school activities every day ( how does Sarah do it???) but it’s hard for me. Here’s how my week looks:
Monday
Okay, this is the most normal day. School for Angie, work for me, and then a flute lesson after school- but the flute teacher comes to our house. This just involves a flurry of tidying up when I get home from work, and then a short time of socializing after the lesson (flute teacher is an old friend of mine).
Tuesday
School. Work. Angie has an after school rehearsal and I have a private massage client at night. Blerg.
Wednesday
Oh god. Today my daughter has an all-day jazz band rehearsal at a school about an hour away from us. Since this is my day off from work, I’ll be driving a carpool of kids there and back. We will have to leave hella early in the morning because of rush hour traffic (it will definitely take longer than an hour). I’m planning to just stay up there, because I don’t want to spend four hours in the car going back and forth twice. By the time we get home it will be past dinner time (I wonder what we’re going to eat?)
Thursday
School. Work. THEN, at night it’s the concert for this jazz band. Once again it’s an hour away (WHY) and we probably won’t get home till 11 pm.
Friday
School (getting up at 5 am will be fun). Work. At night- football playoff game! Again it will be a late night.
Saturday
Work. Then- after work I’m taking Charlotte to the vet. I’m really worried they’re going to tell me there’s something seriously wrong with her. Of all the things this week, I’m looking forward to this the least.
Sunday
Long run! And then- collapsing on the couch in a heap to recover from the week. Oh wait- I can’t do that! I have to start getting ready for Thanksgiving.
I’m trying to remember the quote “Some people would take your problems and call them blessings.” What am I really complaining about- making extra money on Tuesday with a private client? The fact that my daughter made an all-county honor band? Am I mad that our football team is in the playoffs? Do I wish my son weren’t coming home soon for Thanksgiving?
I just wish that EVERYTHING didn’t have to happen at the same time- but that’s November. And December. Remember- you love this!!!
Is your month getting really busy?
Do you regularly have after school/evening activities? Are you used to that, or does it stress you out?
26 Responses
Well actually this month is not busy but that’s because I quit my job! And believe me, I am in full decompression mode.
Yes after school and evening activities are stressful! It’s not that we didn’t have time, it was just that after working out/work/commuting/cooking dinner that weekdays were pretty full. It was basically like having another job. It was all for a good cause but man those years were tough!
Good luck tomorrow with unpaid Uber duty! Hopefully the other parents will pay it forward and pick up bus duty next time. I’ve got my fingers crossed for good news at the vet on Saturday.
Yes, if only I didn’t have to go to work! I would have plenty of time for everything, ha ha. And- I am getting payback tomorrow for the Uber duty today, so it’s all good.
the year end is getting busier for everyone but we don’t make big holiday celebrations so it’s less work. we will go to a beach for thanksgiving.
my girls have activities everyday after school, daddy drives them around thankfully.
I could make my life a lot easier by just going to the beach for Thanksgiving! Unfortunately that won’t fly around here.
Jenny, I 100% understand the feeling that stress is good stress and therefore unworthy of complaint, but THIS SOUNDS STRESSFUL. There’s a lot going on! Lots of driving! Lots of not being at home! It’s good stuff, yes, but as the wise and wonderful Swistle says: “I acknowledge my luckiness, without giving up my claim to the suckiness.”
We have an after school event tomorrow that I am dreading. It’s a half hour drive from home, drop-off is at one time, parents are allowed entry at another time, and then the whole thing ends at like nine. That puts me home well past my bedtime, YAWN.
YES. Maybe I’m just a big baby but I hate getting home past my bedtime. I mean… sleep is important!
To me it sounds like you’re busy because of everyday life with school and after school activities, not because of holidays! Sure, Thanksgiving is a lot of prep but that’s not the stress I see when I read your post.
You’re spot on also about how someone else would take your problems and see them as blessings. Definitely something to think about! A quote that helps me a lot is something in terms of “In ten years you’ll look back at your life and wish you were a bit more thankful for what you had” which may not be true for everyone but still a reminder to be grateful for what we have now in our everyday life.
I totally agree- but I think in my case it’s more like two years, because then my daughter will be in college. I know I’ll miss these days.
Wouldn’t everything be easier if there was a great public transport system which Angie (and all the other kids/teenagers) could use?
My parents never drove me around anywhere – we did everything with the bus/train or bike. Sometimes our appointments were in town, 20km from our home, but it was easy with the train system.
It would make life so much easier for millions of parents!
Oh wow. Life would be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT if we had that!!!
This sounds like a LOT, I don’t blame you for being stressed! This time of year is already busy, and then add kid activities on top of it and I’m sure it is overwhelming.
I’m lucky in that I only have myself to worry about, and it’s mostly just scheduling in my runs and work, but I’m always frustrated that with working an 8 hour day with a half hour commute each way and waking up early to get in a run before work, I usually have only a couple hours to myself in the evening before bed, and most of that time is spent prepping for the next day, getting in a strength workout (twice a week for ~30 min), showering and making dinner before it’s time to get ready for bed by 8 pm. I often wish I could work from home or work fewer hours so I’d have more time after work to enjoy, but such is life, and I’m just glad I don’t have any other obligations taking away even more time!
Yes- if you’re working eight hours with an hour for commuting, plus running early in the morning, it doesn’t leave a lot of time for yourself. I think it bothers some people more than others- I’m a person who definitely craves downtime. Working from home would definitely help you out- but oh well.
I am with Catrina. I wish public transport was easier for kids. I guess it is in cities, but not in suburbs, that’s for sure.
It is inherently exhausting to constantly be running around. Also, I think some people thrive on being busy and go, go, go…but I LOVE to be home and feel grumpy just about any time I have to leave the comfort of my home in the evening. Sure there are blessings underneath it all, but there is also a lot of driving and that’s tiring. You can be excited Paul is coming home AND overwhelmed. You can be happy Angie made certain bands AND overwhelmed by the driving and logistics.
And there is still work, cooking, grocery shopping, and regular life, PLUS a pet who isn’t feeling 100%. This is a lot, Jenny! You’re doing great but, also, it’s okay to feel stressed. That’s not a sign of weakness at all. It feels stressful because it is!
Sending hugs <3
Thank you Elisabeth!!! I agree, some people are great at going all the time- but I also am a person who loves being home. It’s hard for me to be out all evening, come home, go right to bed, and then get up the next day and do it all again. Luckily this is a SEASON. My life isn’t always like this.
I remember those busy days! I am NOT busy at all anymore. It feels weird, honestly. I mean, yes, I do have a few more things to do than normal but it feels so minor.
It feels stressful because it IS stressful, Jenny! You have a lot on your plate. And yes, these are all good things but they are still things, and they still take a lot of time. It’s hard to fit everything in! But this is a season and you’ll get through it!
Thank you Nicole! I know- it won’t always be this way.
I realize how lucky I am that we never host holidays. We decorate, send cards, and buy some presents, but that’s about it really. I don’t have to do much for cooking (we just bring a salad!) or figure out where everyone’s going to sleep or clean our house after a big gathering. I’m just so lucky. I say all of this in the hopes that I don’t freak out about things like I did last year. This is a fun season and I’m determined for it to be fun!
I’m going to use your last sentence as a mantra- “this is a fun season and I’m determined for it to be fun!” Yep.
I don’t love the reframing of your problems as blessing to be honest. Yes there is some truth to that, but it’s not helpful to try to make challenges into blessings when they are truly truly challenging. And yes, things could be worse, but it’s still A LOT! And your husband doesn’t have a flexible job so much/all of this falls on you!
I do try to remember that I decided to say yes to all of these things and wouldn’t want to cut them out. Paul had activities 4 nights of the week earlier this fall and it was A LOT. But 2 of those nights were piano and swimming which are non-negotiable. And the other 2 nights were soccer which he enjoyed participating in. So repeating “I chose this” can be helpful – but some of the stuff on your schedule wasn’t something YOU necessarily chose… So it’s tricky!
I’ve also had to accept that a busy schedule is best for our family. The less time we are home for long stretches, the better. But I have 2 boys that are prone to wrestling, so the more opportunity they have to wrestle, the worse! So my ideal world would involve all of us sitting around and quietly reading our books and not messing with each other. But that is not reality! So my real-world ideal world is to have a good amount of activities to get the boys out of the house, especially the youngest who has gobs and gobs of energy…
All this is to say – I can relate! I do have a lot of fun things to look forward to this season so I am trying to focus on those events/activities. I do not look forward to shopping and dealing with the onslaught of plastic stuff, but I’m trying to accept that it’s exciting for the boys and just part of this stage of life.
I have 3 news for you, Jenny. Not all of them are necessarily good news, though.
1. No, my month is not getting really busy so far.
2. I do not regularly have after school/evening activities.
3. I do not recall my parents ever driving me anywhere when I was in high school.
Now that so many of our kids are in college or moved out, our evenings are less chaotic. Back in the day, Coach worked till 9 pm like 4 nights a week and some Saturdays. It was brutal. Most of the parenting and essentially all of the kid activities and driving fell to me. I still kick myself for telling Lad he couldn’t do boy scouts, because I needed him to take the bus home from school. I could not wrap my brain around waking up a baby to pick him up from boy scouts. That sucks because I know he would’ve loved it. Gradually life just got insanely nuts. Most of it was stuff the kids really wanted to be involved in. We made the waiting for sibling time fun. I always had a ‘church bag’ (what we nicknamed the bag of stuff like books and quiet toys) packed in the car.
It’s unbelievable now that Coach is home every night of the week by 3 or 4 pm – we have less kids home and more parents around. I’ll take it though, because Kay and Rae are a lot. They require a lot more attention and structure.
As far as this season, I’m not feeling stressed yet, but we might be doing gifts a bit different this year and until we figure that out, my shopping is on hold. That feels good now, but it might mean that I end up with a ton of running around to do if we don’t opt for our Plan A.
I don’t even have kids and their activities and still feel stressed this time of year. I am also trying to remember that most of it is ‘positive’ stress and that I love the holidays.
I don’t have many evening commitments these days and it’s AMAZING. Especially with the sun going down so early. I would find all the running around with kids to be SO exhausting.
I don’t really get too stressed around the holidays – that’s probably because I don’t have kids! And I don’t host anything. I would love to host some sort of Christmas gathering with friends at my apartment sometime since I always go all out with decorating it, but I haven’t figured out WHAT I want that gathering to be yet!
Gah, I am feeling the stress, too. I had a rough week last week so today I’m laying low and licking the wounds.
Like Lisa above, also small kids but they don’t wrestle so that’s good. But they are still a lot!! The best thing I do is send them outside.
The holidays bring up a lot of stuff for me… mentally and spiritually.
I’m behind on reading, so just catching up. I’m sorry you are stressed and so busy. I hope you will have a long, relaxed weekend for Thanksgiving (though I know you work on Fridays and Saturdays, so probably not. Sigh.) Today is vet day, which means your pet insurance has kicked in, and I’m sending GOOD THOUGHTS that they can diagnose something, and that it is easily treatable.