Hey there! I haven’t had a Deep Thoughts post in a while, and I know how much everyone has been missing them (ha ha). Today I’m thinking about my upcoming race, and genuinely wondering what it is that makes me want to do it.
Just as a reminder- on March 21st I turn 60, and I’ll celebrate by running an ultramarathon. I’ll get into all the details about the race in another post, but it’s a 14.3 mile loop that you run as many times as you want, and I plan to run 60 miles.
I’m not doing it to prove anything, or to be able to enjoy saying afterwards that I ran 60 on my 60th. Well- maybe there’s a little of that. But mainly, I’m just looking forward to literally running all day on my birthday.
WHY. The truth is, it’s going to be uncomfortable. There will be times where I feel good, maybe times where I feel great, but for a large part of this day I’ll be uncomfortable or actually in pain. Why is this appealing???
It’s my 60th birthday! I would be justified in spending it in the most pleasurable way possible. I could sleep late, eat waffles, get a massage, go to a bookstore, eat at a fancy restaurant and drink champagne- why in the world would I choose to run this race? It’s not even like it will be a beautiful course with breathtaking, panoramic views of natural beauty. It will be on a Florida trail, probably similar to trails I run on all the time, and I’ll see the same thing every time I make a loop. Oh, and it will almost surely be hot and sunny. Am I insane?
The answer is…. possibly? I gave birth to both my kids naturally, with no pain meds of any kind. There were many reasons for that, but probably the most compelling one is, I wanted to know what it felt like. You’re telling me this hurts? How badly? Let’s find out!
I don’t think I’m a masochist (although others may disagree). I just want to experience things, even if it’s painful or uncomfortable. I want to put myself in a position where I have to rely on mental strength to get me through. I want to experience the deep, deep sense of satisfaction of getting through something really difficult. I guess I want to suffer, and figure out a way to handle the suffering until I come out on the other side.
Does this mean something is missing in my normal life? Again… possibly. While there are plenty of other people out there running ultras, the majority of the population does not want to do this. Most people probably find the whole idea unappealing, to say the least. Is my brain just wired differently? I have no answers here. Maybe I’ll come up with something during my epic birthday run- I’ll have plenty of time to ponder.
When someone mentions ultramarathons, do you have a secret longing, or do you recoil in horror?
Top photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash
One Response
I recoil! I have never yearned for exercise- not how my brain looks for challenges. However, I can greatly admire your choice!
I had natural births because it was cheaper- I never bought fully into the experience mentality. So I guess we are very different people!