We had YET ANOTHER “last first” day of school! Because my son and his… wife (that still seems so weird to say) are both getting masters degrees at Northwestern, and Northwestern starts so late, their first day was Wednesday. Or, their “last first” day, because after this year they will be DONE WITH SCHOOL. I asked my son to send me a photo to commemorate the occasion:
Anyway… have I mentioned that I’m in a phase of continual existential crisis? My son’s wedding threw my life into turmoil, but I’ve calmed down from that. Now it’s my daughter’s senior year of high school, and a steady stream of “last” events that’s hitting me.
I’ve always driven my kids to school, and as I was returning from the drop off this morning, I noticed the position of the sun. I always enjoy this season of early morning drives, noting how it’s darker later and later and looking forward happily to turning the clocks back… and then I realized that THIS IS THE LAST FALL I WILL BE DRIVING TO AND FROM SCHOOL.
Wait. You mean this all ends? Somehow I thought this was just going to go on and on forever. I’m having trouble envisioning my life when things don’t revolve around my kids.
Gretchen Rubin recently did a “Little Happier” podcast episode about the Empty Nest, or as she has reframed it, the “Open Door” season. She said “This massive change in our family life gives us an opportunity to understand ourselves better and steer a new course forward, which can be thrilling. We don’t have many opportunities to be shaken awake. Our children are growing up, and so are we.”
Ooh! I’m going to be shaken awake. I’m scared! But also curious about what this next phase could look like. Meanwhile…
Tonight was our homecoming game! Coming up tomorrow… the last homecoming dance. Ack!
If your kids are grown and flown, was the transition to empty nest hard?
If you have younger kids… can you imagine the time when they’ll be out of the house?
Top photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
5 Responses
I can imagine it but don’t like it for sure. I don’t know how I’ll mentally prepare myself for that day.
This is why I had so many kids. By the time Minnie is out, there will be grandkids, and I will be ready for a change of pace…
It’s a big transition for sure. I had a bit of hard time when my son went off to college, but that feeling of being “unmoored” was gone by winter break. That’s when I started cycling with my husband — which I need to take up again.
My son has been married for a few years and I still find it hard to refer to his wife as his “wife” — mainly because I think of her in her own right, I think. (They were together for years before they got married.) I’ve got nothing but love for her!
I have both- adult kids living lives, and kids in hs and junior high. Their school days help shape my life, but I’ll be so glad to put midterms and report cards behind me. Also, no more dress or shirt shopping for dances.
I’m looking to stop working or at least switch jobs after this year- so changes will come.
Well, I have only one who has flown the nest, but my younger son is moving out next year, so my nest will truly be empty. When we moved here, Mark moved out about a month after, to go to school. So it felt like everything was in transition. It’s going to be very strange when Jake moves out as it’s been three years with the three of us in this house. When he’s not here – he dogsits a lot – it feels odd, just the two of us. But we will get used to it, and the nice thing is that even when he moves out he will still be close. The biggest transition when Mark moved out was making dinner. It took a long time for me to adjust dinners for three, and not for two. So when Jake moves out I’m sure it will take a while to go down to dinner for two! The nice thing about the empty nest is loud sex whenever we want! So you have that to look forward to, bow chicka wow wow.