I didn’t intend to stop posting for the week. I imagined myself giving little travel recaps as I went along, but not only was my time limited, even when I DID have the time to sit at my laptop, it seemed that my brain had turned off “creating” mode and was living entirely in “experiencing” mode, and I couldn’t seem to switch back.
That’s fine! Everyone needs a break sometime. Now I’m at the airport waiting for my flight back to Florida, and I finally have THINGS TO SAY. Rather than trying to recap the trip, I’m listing five highlights of the week. Here we go…
1. I started the trip by flying to Texas, where I got to hear my son play the final concert of his music festival. He was playing principal trumpet on Mahler 1, and had lots of solos. He did GREAT! It was wonderful to hear him play.
2. The next day, we started our road trip! My son wins the award for Best Road Trip Companion. We listened to music, podcasts, (like this one with hospice nurse Julie McFadden, “I’ve Seen Hundreds Die- And This Life Isn’t the End”) and had long talks. He wanted to talk about the spiritual/philosophical journey he’s currently experiencing. Honestly, it’s been so long since I’ve talked about things like that I had trouble finding the words at first. But once I got started, we talked and talked. Everyone says having adult children is great, and I can attest that it’s the truth.
3. On the second day of driving, we crossed the Illinois state line! As a reminder, I spent the first 20 years of my life in Illinois. It was exciting for me, and exciting for my son, who is very happy to call Illinois home (for the next two years, at least).
4. This was unplanned, but we decided to drive up to Evanston (about an hour north from my sister’s house) to explore Paul’s new home. We saw the house he’ll be living in, walked around the Northwestern campus, and ate dinner at a vegan restaurant.
5. I got to spend time with my sister and brother in law! It was only two days, but we made the most of our time together. We went for walks and made delicious food (well- they made delicious food. We ate it). Oh yes… my diet. I stayed on it… until I didn’t. More about that coming up!
I was looking forward to this trip so much and it was everything I hoped it would be, and more. Now back to regular life, with an added perk- my son will be home for the next month. Hooray!
Did anything special happen to you this week?
Any fun trips coming up?
27 Responses
I love that you said you HEARD your son play, not SAW him play – a true musician mom!
Your highlight format is the perfect way to capture the essence of your trip. I think my favourite part was that long, thoughtful car conversation – how nice to share that kind of connection with your adult son!
Is he looking forward to Evanston or does he feel apprehensive? How long will he be there for?
I think Paul is almost 100% excited about Northwestern- the apprehension is minimal. He’ll be there for two years. And yes- those long car conversations were probably the best part of the trip.
Aww, this sounds so fun! I absolutely love that you got this special time with your son, AND it helps calm my anxieties of feeling like the time with my kids is slipping away just because they’re in high school and approaching the “finish line” of official childhood. I know someone else who just did an awesome 1:1 trip with her daughter who is a junior in college, which also reminded me, oh yeah, I still get to be their parent even after they don’t live with me anymore! And it sounds like absolutely the right choice to not blog. I often do on trips (usually because I’m so excited by what we’re doing that I want to share ASAP, lol!), but sometimes it just does NOT fit in. And you definitely don’t want to be taking time away from actually experiencing the trip in order to be posting about the trip, either! Safe travels home!
Thank you Kae! We did arrive safely. And yes- parenting never ends, it just enters a different phase. And it’s all good!
Yay for taking some PTO from the blog! Of course we missed you, but we haven’t gone anywhere and we still want to live vicariously through you. I can attest that travel doesn’t lend itself well to blogging. That’s what being home after the trip is for!
The “I’m home” feeling of crossing the border into IL…I know it so well.
Yes, there’s something about your home state- even if you haven’t actually lived there for a long time- that gives you a deep sense of “home.” And, I will definitely get caught up on the trip recaps now that I’m home and back into “blogger” mode!
Oh, I am SO happy for you, Jenny! What a great trip. It’s a tremendous joy, having these adult children with whom we can have such interesting and enlightening conversations! And YES to being in Experiencing Mode rather than creating – there is time for that later! What a great road trip – lol at the packed car! It’s a jenga in there! Also wow is your son tall! I know you’re about my height (I think we are both 5’7″) and he must be 6’2″ at least!
Paul is 6’5″! I love how I look like a giant when I’m in a photo with SHU, and a midget when I stand next to my son.
Your trip with your son sounds like a wonderful bonding experience, and I’m so glad you had a great time! And you enjoyed some amazing food, like that homemade pizza!
I’m looking forward to my birthday trip in less than a week! I was talking about it with my coworkers and some of them were in awe that I’m going solo. I took my first solo overnight trip in 2020 and I’ve taken at least one a year since then so it feels natural to me at this point, so I was kinda surprised that some of them mentioned that they had never really done that. I do enjoy traveling with others, but there’s something really freeing about a solo trip, when you can do whatever you want whenever you want!
I absolutely LOVE a solo trip! And- I once knew a woman, she was probably in her early 50s. She told me she had never been to Europe because she had no one to go with. WHAT. I guess everyone is different. Your trip sounds so, so fun to me. Once again I wish you still had your blog because I want to hear all about it!
What a wonderful trip! This is something you will always remember! The conversations about spirituality sound really intriguing. Phil and I had so many conversations about faith/beliefs before we got engaged. He really challenged me to explain why I believed what I do. But being on the same page about things like that was really important before getting married/starting a family. But it can be a challenging topic because what do we even really know when we are pressed to think through it/explain our beliefs.
That is cool that you got to see where he’ll live when he returns to Northwestern this fall. The view from the music building is gorgeous! And it’s so nice that he has his aunt and uncle close by! I imagine they’ll be happy to host him for meals and such and be his sort of ‘local mom and dad”. I have an aunt and uncle that I used to call my “St. Paul parents.” I spent quite a bit of time with them in my 20s/early 30s and they were such a great source of support.
As far as trips, we have our week vacation at my parents to look forward to in August. Besides that I have work trips to NYC and VA/MD but those are areas I enjoy traveling to (for the most part – I do not love the DC traffic!).
It’s funny that you bring that up Lisa, because my son’s spiritual work all comes from the fact that he and his girlfriend have different religious beliefs. They were going to end the relationship when he left Texas, but now they don’t want to. He’s trying to figure out if they can reach a common ground that would allow them to move forward and potentially get married and have kids eventually. Big stuff- I definitely didn’t think about things like this when I was 22!
Jenny this post gave me ALL THE WARM FUZZIES.
I love reading about your evolving and deepening relationship with Paul as time goes by. It really is a switch from parent to friend in many ways over the years which is lovely. We’re so fortunate to have kids that enjoy spending time with us, and what a gift that you were able to see him perform AND then drive back with him for some solo “bonding time” (as my father would call it). Road trips are great opportunities for deep and fun conversations.
That pizza looks yummy.
I see Birchie talked about it as PTO from blogging. She commented something similar on my blog and that thought/phrase has been rattling around in my brain ever since. I really like that reframe. It’s nice to take time away from things and get a little out of routine for a while.
Of course I’m fascinated by the spiritual discussions. And how wise to talk about these things NOW. I think a lot of relationships gloss over fundamentally big challenges like differing religious views, if they want to have kids etc. Um, these are pretty major things! I can’t imagine being married to someone who didn’t share my beliefs (though, to be honest, part of my belief system involves NOT marrying someone who doesn’t align in at least some ways). Both of my grandmothers married before they “came to faith” as one might say, and neither of my grandfather’s ever expressed interest, but when they married they were both aligned, I guess, in terms of not being a Christian.
Yes, that’s a good way of putting it- our relationships with our children evolve. It’s sad to see certain things end, but there’s always something new coming up. And, oof, the situation with his girlfriend is so complicated! But, they’re definitely handling it in a mature way, and Paul is really thinking things over deeply. We’ll see what happens!
Glad you trip went so well.
This week sped by. I was in NYC Sun & Mon and then went to a play last night… In between there was work and HEAT!!
Thanks Darlene! Your weeks are usually pretty eventful- my usual life is pretty bland compared to yours.
Sounds like a great trip! How nice to have that mom-son bonding time 🙂
It was so nice! I loved it.
Hooray for the trip living up to your expectations. And beyond. So happy that you enjoyed it so much. I flew to Texas with Ed a few years ago, so the two of us could help pack my uncle up and move him to Illinois. Plus we were buying uncle’s car, so ed helped me drive it home. I really loved our long chats. Ed is a great travel companion. Congrats to your son- Northwestern grad school- very impressive. Enjoy having him home!
Thank you Ernie! That’s funny, you kind of had a similar trip- helping someone move from Texas to IL. Car trips are fun.
I love this so much! There is something so special about the adult relationships you get to have with your kids, speaking as the kid who has the BEST relationship with my mom. I’m glad you had such a great road trip with Paul and see his new digs in Illinois. What an incredible adventure that will be!
Yes, you set a great example, Stephany!
It sounds like an amazing week! That time and those conversations with your son are priceless!
I loved this post, and I love that you and your son were able to spend this quality time together. AND that you will have him home for the summer now. Wonderful!
We’re flying up to Portland for a long weekend to see my family there this Friday! YAY! It came up kind of suddenly, and I’m looking forward to it!
Oh, Jenny!! I knew you were looking forward to this trip and I’m so glad it lived up to your expectations!
Those photos of you and Paul say it all <3
I am so glad you had such a wonderful trip with your son. <3
Sounds like you had a lot of fun.