You guys… I’m so excited about my race. I mentioned in a previous post that it’s all I can think about, and the other day I found myself wishing that the race could just be TOMORROW. I’m ready! I don’t want to wait!
Then I thought… do I really want to wish these two weeks away? EVERY DAY COUNTS.
I took down my outdoor Christmas lights yesterday (finally!) and while I was doing it I had a flashback to the happy sense of anticipation I had while I was putting them up. When my kids were little and Christmas was a couple weeks away they would say “I wish Christmas were tomorrow!” I would always remind them that the buildup to Christmas is part of the fun, and we wouldn’t want to skip over it.
This is an extra busy week- my daughter has MPA (Music Performance Assessment) with the high school jazz band, and also Solo and Ensemble, where she is playing a solo and two ensembles. Both these things require extra driving on my part, and will take up two entire evenings. At first I though, “Oh good! Being busy will make the week go by faster.”
But… there will never be another week exactly like this one. My daughter will never be playing in these things as a freshman again, while I’m also getting ready for my first 50 mile race. I know at some point when the race is over things will seem flat and unexciting, and I’ll look back on this week as being extra-special. So I’m trying to lean into it and appreciate it while it’s happening… rather than only in retrospect.
So what about those race goals? Well, “goals” may not be the right word. “Vague hopes” might be a better term. Some things, like the weather, are out of my control. I’ve never run 50 miles, and I’ve never run on this trail. So anything could happen! But I do have one hope, which is that I finish before dark.
The race starts at 7 am, so finishing “before dark” would mean in about 12 hours. That seems reasonable- if my finish time is much longer than that, it probably means something went wrong. I would like for nothing big to go wrong, and I would also like to avoid being out on the trail in the dark.
This race has a 100 mile and 50 mile option (I love that I’ll be running with the 100 milers! The first 50 miles is the same course for everyone.) Headlamps are required gear for both distances. I got a new headlamp- my little clip-on light won’t cut it on a dark trail- and I tested it out this morning.
I hate it! But, I hate all headlamps. They either bounce, or if they’re tight enough not to bounce they irritate my forehead. If I were running the 100 mile distance I would have paid any amount of money to get a really great headlamp. As it is, I ordered one from Amazon that should be… fine. Especially since I’m hoping not to use it at all.
So that’s my goal- to finish this race, uninjured, in the daylight. But I’ll take any finish. And if I have a DNF because of injury, I’ll take that too and chalk it up to a learning experience.
I’m linking up with Jenn and Zenaida for their Tuesday Topics. Their actual topic for the week is “My Worst Running Habits” so if you want to read about that, check them out!
Any headlamp suggestions for me?
Are you looking forward to anything this month?
38 Responses
Well, that’s a great motivator to finish before dark so that you won’t have to use the awful headlamp.
It’s very true that a lot of us have the tendency to rush through our lives to get to the big event, but the big events are such a small part of our lives. It’s an art to live in the anticipation stage and drink in every minute of the good stuff that happens along the way.
Yes, great point. If you add together all the big moments, it’s still a very small part of our lives overall. And yes- the motivation to finish before dark should help keep me moving!
I think that’s a great mind set to go into a race. To have different goals/hopes. Really, what’s the worse? NDF? even that’s not the worst. coming out uninjured will be first priority, enjoy the process probably would come second to me, and third, learn something, about running, about one self, about others; and finally, finish with gratitude for our body to be able to do such an enduring race.
i’ll be thinking about you and wait for your recap.
I love that. Yes, finish with gratitude! And appreciate the incredible experience along the way.
You will finish before you need that headlight, Jenny!
50 miles in 12 hours would be a 14min/mile pace. So you need to move at a brisk pace but you could allow for some breaks at the aid stations. My guess is that you won’t have to deal with a lot of elevation, so you can keep a fairly even pace. Even if you slow down in the second half, you will finish in less than 12 hours.
I love the German word for joyful anticipation: Vorfreude (vor = before, Freude = joy). Many people say it’s the best kind of joy and I tend to agree!
Oh, I love that word, thank you for mentioning it! I do so enjoy looking forward to things.
Ooh! Vorfreude! I love it.
I agree- finishing in 12 hours seems VERY doable. It’s a 14 min pace but also will include stopping at aid stations- so I have to make sure not to waste time there. It is a mostly flat course, but apparently there’s some muddy sections and some water. So, you never know!
I love your impulse to savor the anticipation– this is a good reminder for me in the throes of a busy season with a kid at home who won’t be soon. Excellent race hope, and enjoy the next 2 weeks 🙂
Oh yes- I can relate to that. your family will never be like this again. When Harry goes to college he’ll still be coming home and still be part of the family (obviously) but things will be different. It would be easy to let this time speed by without really appreciating it because you have so much going on- you have to make an effort to savor it.
I hate headlamps. So I never run in the dark.
I’m looking forward to my Florida trip.
I’m looking forward to your Florida trip as well! I got your email and will send a response in a few minutes.
My son has solo ensemble this weekend too for percussion, and your insights are timely for me- this will be his last one ever, I guess, because apparently he has decided to not do band in high school next year. 🙁 It is a little sad to think of things coming to a close. I also agree with your Christmas sentiments- I also really love the lead up more than anything else. In fact, I always start to get bummed even in that Dec 19-23 range because it feels like an “almost over” downswing by that point. My favorite part of the season is probably Dec 1-15, when it’s definitely “christmas season” but there’s still a good stretch yet to enjoy.
I still can’t wrap my head around running 50 miles. I got behind on commenting these past few days but I saw in a previous post that you had some achilles issues- SO glad it seems it was just an annoyance and not an injury! I got a headlamp for Christmas (with the intent of using it for walking Charlie in the dark) but have thought I could try it out for early morning runs. It puts off a LOT of light ( I think my parents also just ordered on Amazon) and seems pretty comfy, though I admittedly have not tried running/ bouncing around in it yet. Maybe here I can wear it sort of under a winter hat which might help hold it in place?? I’ll report back, lol.
Okay, I want a full report on your headlamp!
I know exactly what you mean about Christmas- when it gets really close I’m simultaneously excited AND sad that it’s almost over. The early days of December are the best.
And yes… it’s always sad when things come to an end. I get why he’s not doing band, but I would be sad too.
I think that’s a great goal to have and it sounds very achievable! As for the headlamp, I do have a recommendation but it is expensive — the Kogalla. It’s actually a waist light which is much less annoying than wearing something on your head and the light points where you want it, plus it’s super bright. I’ve had mine since 2021 and it’s been a good investment. I use it in the mornings this time of year when I start running before the sunrise, and I used it during my ultras because I’m very slow and had to finish up the last few miles in the dark, but I don’t know what I would do without it!
I did think about getting a Kogalla but couldn’t find it on Amazon so I went the cheap route instead. I’m wondering if I could actually wear mine around my waist- it has an adjustable strap and I think it would be big enough. I’m going to try it in the next few days. And, next time I’ll get a Kogalla.
I really love your attitude about this, Jenny. I love the Every Day Counts mantra especially, and I like the goals you have set for yourself. Or, your vague hopes. I am crossing my fingers for a finish in the daylight AND NO INJURIES.
Wow, though, my eyes opened wide at the thought of running for twelve hours, but of course, it’s 50 miles. For some reason I had 50K in my head, but wow, 50 miles. THAT’S LIKE TWO MARATHONS. I don’t know why this is occurring to me now, you’ve talked about it for a while. But I guess it just hit me…and wait, my god, 100 miles, how are these people doing that? How long do they run for? Seriously, I would really like to know what kind of a time someone would run 100 miles in, please tell me, I will not rest until I know. And…how. I am in awe at the thought of 50 miles alone and now thinking about 100? Eeee.
I think it will make it “easier” to run 50 when I know there are people doing TWICE THAT DISTANCE. I think most people consider it an accomplishment to finish 100 miles in under 24 hours- but the cutoff for this race is 35 hours, and there will be people who take that long. Ouch.
I bet you will finish before dark! Headlamps are so awkward. I run super early in the morning so I have to wear one. It doesn’t bother me too badly on short runs but on longer runs it can make my head hurt. I am so excited to hear about your race! Enjoy these next two weeks and let the anticipation keep building!
Thank you Melodie! You will definitely be hearing all about it.
Like Nicole I have to keep doing mental gymnastics with the distance because I think KM not MILES. That is SO far Jenny and my goodness you are a ROCKSTAR. My heart is bursting with pride and I am living vicariously through you and hope you really are able to savour these moments. I will be here for ALL THE RECAPS <3
Thank you Elisabeth! All the recaps will be coming your way.
It is fun that you get to run with the 100 milers. I can’t wrap my head around 50 miles, let alone 100. So many superhumans out there, including you! I’m getting so excited for you!
Yes, I feel like the 100 milers are superhumans for sure. I’ll be excited to run with them and see them up close : )
I hate headlamps, too! They are important but ick. Is there a way to get one that clips on to a hat or visor? Would that help at all?
I’m so excited for you! This is going to be so great!
I’m going to try making this one more comfortable- maybe wearing it around my waist? Hopefully I can figure something out.
The only time I used headlamps was during Ragnar relay races and it was really weird. I am sure you are anxious to just get out there and get it done (which I know you will!) Excited for you
Thank you Deborah!!! I think headlamps are weird unless you’re used to them, which I’m not. I do run in the dark sometimes but I have a little light that clips onto my waist belt.
I love your perspective and yes, it’s good to slow down and try to enjoy the moment you’re in. When I have a race coming up, I always find myself wishing it was over, lol
I have a Petzl headlamp that I use in the winter. I’ve had it for years and it is the best! Newer versions are much lighter.
Oh my goodness. That is a lot of miles. Good luck. I would be so nervous. You are made of steel or something. I love your attitude and I’d like to say your excitement is contagious, but I could not get excited about running that far. You’ve got this!
I love your goals, Jenny! They sound so realistic and reasonable. I am really excited for your race, too, and I can’t wait to hear how it goes — no matter the outcome.
I don’t love headlamps either but don’t run in the dark often enough to warrant upgrading. It’s hard to wrap my mind around running 50 miles! I am so excited to see how you do and I love that you are not trying to wish time away. I am not great at that. I often just want certain things to be over with… or certain stages… But then they are over and I think ‘well maybe that wasn’t so bad’ (like the stage where getting Paul to go to bed was just so very difficult and required us to sit in the room with him until he fell asleep and I thought I might still be doing that until her was 16… Or right now it feels like Taco might still be in pull ups at 16 because he refuses to use the potty… but eventually it will be behind us and we’ll tell ourselves it wasn’t really that bad to deal with…)
On Saturday I am taking the boys to Disney on Ice!!! I might be more excited for it than they are. But I don’t think they have any idea what to expect. I showed them a preview/marketing video and they thought it was cool. But I have long loved watching talented people ice skate so I love that I can now go to these kinds of things. I mean I could have before but now I really have an excuse to spend the money!!
I love the goal of finishing before dark – reasonable and gives you the motivation to get it done before you have to use your head lamp!
I can barely wrap my mind around running 50 miles (heck, even 10 miles haha)… 100 miles?? I can’t fathom.
I can’t wait to see how you do! I cannot imagine running 50 miles. A marathon is hard enough. 🙂
Uninjured and before daylight sounds like good goals to me – so excited for you!!
Interesting thought about being present, enjoying this time before the race. I find anticipation is a wonderful part of life, if it is a good thing that you are looking forward to. But it can rob your ‘now’ of pleasure too, if you spend too much time anticipating, especially if the real word is ‘dread’. I’ve been thinking about this lately with regards to grief, and how it robs you of the here and now, because you are either dreading something bad, or remembering something bad. But how to let go of that and live in the moment, yet still be able to enjoy anticipation and memories when they are good? I’m not sure that made sense, but that’s where my brain went with your post.
I’m excited for you! I wish you a good run, no injury, and home before dark so you don’t have to wear the head lamp. Also, loved seeing that you met up with Stephany! Fun!
I love this! Such a great perspective and a great reminder!
I have a Petzel headlamp that I like. The module with the light is adjustable up and down and it has a rechargeable battery that recharges via USB.
Hopefully you won’t need your lamp, but it could be good to use even at dusk. 😉
Well done catching yourself wishing to speed up time and intentionally savouring this time. It looks like proof that you have chosen the right phrase for this year. I’ve never run with a headlamp, although it would be helpful in winter when running club is in the dark. I much prefer when people wear their light on their waist though, otherwise you get blinded when they’re facing your way.
I cannot wait to read the report from this race! Just getting to the starting line is an achievement. I hope the day went as well as it could. Fingers crossed!