Well, no one really understands how this happened, but it’s the last Friday of March (WHAT) so it’s time to join Marcia for Runfessions. Let’s get started!
The first thing I would runfess is that I haven’t run since my race on Saturday, and I’m not missing it one bit! It feels good to sleep in a little, do some yoga, and go for a nice walk. Eventually I’ll feel the itch to start running, but until then I’m just enjoying a recovery period.
While I’m feeling pretty good physically, I’ll runfess that I’m still a little out of it, mentally. After my race I took two days off work, and when I went back on Tuesday I felt so odd- like I had forgotten how to talk to people. It’s as if I went on a trip to another planet, and couldn’t remember how to behave back on Earth. Don’t worry- I got through the day, but it took a little more effort to appear normal.
Next up is a big one. Once I’ve recovered fully, I’m going to prioritize strength training for several months. The reason is…. I want to look good for my son’s wedding. THERE, I said it. My daughter will be THRILLED that I’m finally hitting the gym for aesthetic reasons- she’s baffled that I don’t prioritize my appearance more.
The problem is, this can be a slippery slope for me. In the past when I’ve gotten too focused on how my body looks, it’s led to some very bad things. I have to proceed with caution here, but as Gretchen Rubin likes to say, we can both accept ourselves and expect more from ourselves. I’m hoping to strike that balance. I have an entire post on this coming soon!
Lastly, I’ll runfess… well this isn’t really a runfession. It’s a statement of fact- I think this was my best birthday ever! I ran my age in miles, had an incredible experience, AND received these thoughtful and hilarious cards!!
Thanks to everyone who reached out! I appreciate all the support and encouragement so, so much. Our blogging community is the best!
Do you have a “best” birthday memory?
Did March fly by for you? – I don’t know what happened to this month!
39 Responses
My birthdays sort of blur together- nothing stands out- maybe when I had recently had one of my kids? That was a nice year because I had the semester off. I could sit around and just take care of baby and his siblings.
March has done the long days, short month- different spring breaks, assorted sports/school activities.
What is wrong with your appearance? You are slim,strong, and lovely! Work out if it makes you happy but gracious, looking at your pictures of you running and exercising and going about your business- you are amazing and beautiful!!!!
(I won’t even wear shorts or a swimsuit to cover up and nothing fits anymore. you wear shorts and tanks and look great!
Maybe Nicole would say this better?)
Enjoy your weekend!
Oh, thank you! I don’t want to belabor the point, but it’s my stomach. Usually it’s covered up in flowy tanks (you’ll notice I don’t wear anything form fitting) but I’m concerned with how it’s going to look in a formal dress! Again, I’ll talk more about this in an upcoming post.
I can imagine it takes a while to catch up with normal life after an ultra race! I’d be surprised if you just returned to the normal routine as if nothing happened.
I love that statement that we can both accept ourselves and expect more from ourselves. This is so often missing in the conversation, and wanting to build muscle to look better or even caring for our appearance is being so demonized today which I think is wrong! It’s normal to want to look good and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve ourselves as long as it’s done in a way that still promotes good health. Strength training ticks all boxes there. People who train with the focus of muscle-building, usually do all the right things (and get all the other benefits too). I think you look great but building some more muscle is always a good thing (and essential for women of a certain age!), whatever the reason is. Remember to up the protein, perhaps more than you think, and get the essential amino acids (not always obvious for people who are vegan, and please forgive me if I sound preachy)!
No, you don’t sounds preachy at all! I’m definitely going to focus on protein as well, and that is a good point about the amino acids. I agree that strength training is usually a positive way to focus on appearance- as opposed to when I was in high school where everyone just wanted to be “skinny”, UGH.
Happy Belated Birthday!!! I’m glad your bday was a stellar one (and I just realized I need to swing over & read your 60-mile recap). Last week, I took off Tuesday and spent the entire day in my former town… lots of busyness. I returned to work, the next day, feeling like id been on a mission to outer space as well. That Wednesday was a rather long “Monday.”
Ha, so you know what I’m talking about! It’s a weird feeling.
I totally get wanting to look good in wedding pics– and also YOU ARE ALREADY THERE. Glad you had an awesome race and birthday!
Thank you Sarah, but there are issues! It’s easier to hide them in running clothes than formal wear. But I appreciate your support : )
Lots of good stuff here! I understand the slippery slope, but that was before you were clocking in 50 and 60 mile races. I’m pretty confident that you’re not going to take things to extremes that will mess with distance running.
Yes, what happened to March? I’m not really complaining since the end of winter means more travel options. Look out world, here I come! [By “world” of course I mean “a whole slew of state capitals”]
Oooh! I can’t wait to see where you go next. I guess you don’t need to focus on the south so much anymore.
Hah! I bet the post-ultra brain fog is real. Glad you are enjoying the recovery.
I felt no pressure to train to look a certain way for my son’s wedding — maybe because it was held outdoors with no formal photography? Maybe because it was held in Vermont and my focus was getting everyone there? It never crossed my mind. 😉 Another saying on this topic — Jess Sims says you can be a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time.
I totally missed that today was the last Friday of the month — I even had some runfessions!
Oh, I love that! You can be a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time. I’ll be telling myself that.
I wish my son’s wedding were less formal- it’s not going to be super formal, but it will be a church wedding with formal photography. The bride’s mom has already reached out to me about dresses and says she’s going “formal-ish.” Eek.
I’m so glad you had the best birthday ever!
Now Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. I am…I guess I am wondering what part of your appearance you are going to “work on.” Do NOT get me wrong, you know I am the vainest person around, but…this concerns me NOT because you want to focus on appearance per se, but because…well…I can’t think what part of your “appearance” you need to work on in the gym. I guess it’s because I have a (now controlled, but lifelong so I am going to say recovering) history of distorted eating and thinking, (don’t we all) and I know that slippery slope when it comes to weight loss. So. Even though I am, as I said, The World’s Vainest Person, I am kind of putting up a yellow flag here. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Ah, bodies. It’s such a minefield of a topic. But I cannot imagine that you wouldn’t already look fantastic in your (dark green?) dress. It’s always good to work on strength! But also? I feel kind of concerned here. MAYBE I’M READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS NEED MORE COFFEE. But I feel like you have said you have struggled in the past with disordered eating and YES we all want to look good for events but I AM WAVING A GENTLE YELLOW FLAG. Maybe I’m waving it for nothing, in which case, carry on, let’s talk about makeup and hair. But just know that I’m sending you a virtual hug and singing Billy Joel’s Just The Way You Are.
I hope I didn’t overstep into this minefield here, I just meant to say a) you look great in your clothes in every picture, and b) I do get this but I just wondered what form it will take? Also you said this will be a whole post so maybe I shall just wait OMG WHY CAN’T I STOP TYPING HERE. Um, sorry. I just want my friend Jenny to be okay! And to treat yourself so tenderly and gently! And I know you maybe…are hard on yourself? AHHHHH MUST STOP COMMENTING
You’re saying what I wanted to say- I knew you’d have better words!
Ha ha, thank you Nicole!!! Arg, it’s so hard. I’ll write more about it. And then after all this, what exactly AM I going to do about makeup and hair? Can you come to Florida and save me???
I have definitely experienced that post-ultra brain fog, and I think part of it is it’s so jarring to go back to the “real world” after spending a whole day or more out in nature with like-minded people.
My best birthday was my 32nd two years ago when I ran a trail marathon in southern Utah! Two years prior, it was my first race ever so it already held special memories for me and I knew I wanted to go back when I saw it fell on my actual birthday. The course actually changed quite a bit due to a wildfire so that made it even more interesting and it was better in a way because I wasn’t able to compare my finish times since they weren’t the same course. And having my parents there to support me at the end was really special!
I agree with Nicole re: the body image stuff. It can be a slippery slope and I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with wanting to work out for aesthetic reasons but it can turn into a bigger problem if we’re not careful. And I’m sure you’ll look amazing for the wedding anyway! I admit I do have aesthetic reasons for wanting to stay fit, but a bigger part of me does it because I want to be strong as I get older and not risk osteoporosis and I want to continue doing ultras for decades to come!
Yes, usually I’m working out for health reasons, or for my own personal fulfillment (running an ultra may not be exactly “healthy” but it gives me what I’m craving, mentally). But when I was looking at possible dresses for my son’s wedding I thought “uh oh!” I have some work to do…. but prioritizing strength will be good for me anyway. I just have to keep things under control.
I think what we’ve discovered is- if at all possible, run a big race on your birthday!
Happy Belated Birthday and congrats on the race! That’s so amazing to run your age!
Those are really fun cards! I’m so glad your birthday celebration was amazing!
Thank you Marcia! I especially appreciated the strong cat theme in those birthday cards : )
I’ll echo what others said – you look amazing, Jenny! Truly! I don’t know what can be improved! You are slim and strong and are probably at a very low BMI as is! I would be THRILLED to look like you do! And I am not just saying this. Truly, you look amazing.
I am glad you had a great bday and felt showered with love! I think my best birthday was my 30th. I had a French-themed party and then went to Paris for 5 days and had the best time! I wish I could do that all over again – and I will, just not at this stage of life with young kids and travel-heavy job.
Thank you so much, Lisa! I don’t want to go on and on about it, but I’m not happy with my stomach. You’re not seeing it in the photos I post, but it will be more obvious in a formal dress. I don’t know how much I can realistically reduce it by July, but I’ll give it a try. If nothing else, getting stronger will feel good.
Your 30th DOES sound like an epic birthday! Yes- recreate it, but not with young kids. Something to look forward to in the future.
I am so glad that you had the best birthday ever and that you felt very special. Seems like you are taking your recovery very seriously and that will pay off for you as well! There is no shame in wanting to look good for the wedding-I’ve been doing that as well. I also understand and relate to your feelings of how focusing on your body like that can lead to unhealthy thoughts. I’ve been there as well. With age comes wisdom 🙂
Thank you Deborah! I figured you could relate.
Focusing on strength after so much cardio sounds smart AND if it makes your body look better, who are you to complain? 😉
Heading over to read your race recap shortly!
Yes, I figure focussing on strength can only be a good thing! My strength training has been spotty the last couple months- I kept tellin myself I would get back to it after the race, and now I will!
Happy belated and huge congrats on your ultra!! So glad you had a great birthday.
I’m way behind on my blog reading so I need to go check out your race recap.
Thank you Michelle! I appreciate it : )
I think strength training might be great for you, and I just hope the main focus is on *adding* muscle, not really taking away anything and definitely not overall weight loss (bc you look super tiny in your pix!!!!). I do think adding on some muscle would look great 🙂
Thank you SHU! I will definitely focus on adding muscle… and losing five pounds of fat from my stomach. JUST KIDDING. Sort of. Muscle… adding muscle.
Yay for strength training! You know I love it. Unfortunately, we really cannot spot rescue fat, which sucks, because we all have “that spot” that seems weirdly unresponsive. Not sure why that has to be, but it seems to be the way of the world. Probably would be tough to see super drastic change in a trouble spot so quickly, because the trouble areas are usually the last to go, but I still think adding some muscle will help your appearance look more strong and healthy no matter what! There are lots of formal dresses out there that aren’t super clingy across the middle- many for adult women have that “ruching” (not sure of the word!) across the middle, or you can find one that has a more fitted waist that then is flowy through the middle, etc. I think if it’s not a spot you want to accentuate, you can easily avoid it even without making a single change to your body, too.
Argh that was supposed to say “spot REDUCE”, not rescue! No one wants to rescue their fat!!
Also! Shapewear! Honeylove has some nice comfy shapewear that gives lots of smooth lines. I know others like Skims and Spanx but I personally can vouch for Honeylove.
Hooray for birthday celebrations. I’m glad there were so many things that made you feel special. And you will definitely NOT forget running 60 miles any time soon 🙂
Bodies are both powerful… and also kind of terrifying. It’s so hard not to get consumed by body image, and as someone who’s struggled with disordered eating in the past, it can be such a slippery slope.
You’ve had two kids. You’re 60. And your body just ran 60 miles. That’s amazing.
Nicole said it really well—yes to shapewear and yes to the yellow flag. And I agree with Kae too… I don’t know how much would actually change in that time, even with a lot of effort.
Another thing I think about is that there will be so many people there, all different shapes and sizes, and you would never look at them the way we sometimes look at ourselves. So this feels more like a confidence thing (which I totally get—I weigh a lot more than you and definitely have moments where I feel self-conscious too).
But the focus is on the bride and groom, and you’re going to look lovely.
I’d get some shapewear to smooth things out (for confidence) and just enjoy exercise without focussing on your body. (You are objectively tiny and in incredible shape.)
If it really matters to you, then go for it. But if it starts to feel obsessive or takes time away from things you actually enjoy (or that are better for your mental health, like running), life is too short!
OK, I was very confused about you wanting to get in shape for your son’s wedding, because you are everyone’s ‘after’ photo. You’re fit and slim and beautiful. Then I read in your comments that you would like to lose weight in your stomach area. I don’t think weight works like that, and trying to ‘lose 5 lbs’ in your stomach means losing too much strength and weight in other places, and likely could be a slippery slope that means you can’t run as well. Also, menopause belly is real, and when I look around at women our age, even the very thin ones have it. So, I would say, focus on hair and makeup, and wear some shape wear that will make you feel more confident. Also, find a dress that works for YOUR body, don’t worry about what the bride’s mother is wearing. Seriously, if I looked like you I’d be SO FRIGGING HAPPY ABOUT IT.
Did you watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV show, not the movie)? I read an interview once with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s stunt double. SMG is SO THIN, and her stunt double tried to be as thin for the camera, and lost weight but then was not strong enough to do the stunts needed for her job. 5lbs made every bit of difference. Besides, you work on your core ALL OF THE TIME.
So, go for strength training, keep working your core (as you ALREADY DO), but really, I don’t think losing any weight is a good idea at all.
And you know what? You said something once about how hard it is to get rid of flabby underarms at our age, and that helped me so much. I do my strength training, I work my arms. But I don’t stress out so much, and I find satisfaction in the muscle that I am building.
I did not say this as gently as Nicole, but amen to everything she said. You are a beautiful woman, you’re going to look beautiful and full of joy at the wedding.
I’m so glad you had a wonderful birthday! That’s such a great feeling and I’m so happy for you!
How exciting for the wedding! And you are going to look amazing! Just be safe and try not to backslide into harmful habits. Mental and emotional wellness is as important to maintain as physical.
I’m only slightly disappointed that my cat pictures isn’t in that photo. I’m going to assume that’s because it’s on the fridge. Ha!
I don’t want to pile on, but you look fabulous. Don’t change what you look like for the photos because you want to be recognizable as yourself. As others have said, focus on finding a banging dress, hair, and makeup, and be comfortable in your healthy, strong body!
Spanx! I know what you mean about brain fog. I think that not only are you probably a but dehydrated after a race, but also you’ve had this ine goal and…now what? It’s hard to move onto the next thing. I am so proud of you for getting your goal accomplished for the race! One of my favorite birthdays was a 100k that I PRed at. So satisfying!
Hooray for a little break from running – I’m glad you’re enjoying the time away. You definitely put in enough miles! And yes, it must be weird to come down from earth and wondering why everyone isn’t talking about running 60 miles!!!
I like your plan of working on strength to look great at your son’s wedding. I hope it can be a healthy, positive goal for you!