I liked Sue’s comment on my blog post about Mother’s Day: “It always feels like pressure to make everyone else feel like they are making you happy.” My Mother’s Day had some ups and downs, but I felt obligated to act happy throughout. Hurumph. Either this is the dumbest day ever, or I’m making it much more complicated than it has to be.
I started the day with tea in my Baylor Mom mug, although I’m technically a Baylor Mom alumnus now. Here’s a photo my daughter took, which accurately shows Muffin’s favorite position while I’m on my laptop:
I’m wearing my reading glasses, which my daughter says makes me look like a “sad, divorced mom.” What? WHY? Anyway… I’m not sad or divorced, in case you saw me in these glasses and got worried.
After breakfast and blog reading, I went out for some “fun” errands, which turned out to be not so fun. My husband got me a book, Kate Atkinson’s Death at the Sign of the Rook, which was such a nice thought- but I’ve already read it. I figured I would return it and get something else, but when I got to Barnes and Noble I realized I forgot the receipt. GAH.
Thwarted (for the moment- I’ll go back on Wednesday) I continued to the Lego store to get a graduation gift for my daughter’s boyfriend. I texted back and forth with my daughter, sending her photos of different sets, and she finally told me to just get him a gift card because she wasn’t sure what he already had. GRR! Remember, I wanted to get him an actual gift rather than cash, and if I’m going to get a gift card then I might just as well have… whatever. I got the gift card.
By the time I got home I really needed to get out for a walk, and the timing was perfect because my son called me. I walked and talked to him for an hour. He and his fiancee have started premarital counseling, and one thing the counselor warned him of is that sons tend to become less close with their mothers once they get married. Yes, I’ve heard the saying: “A son is a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all of her life.”
My son said he really doesn’t want that to happen, and we agreed to keep our relationship strong and talk more often. He is such a GOOD KID. The universe really knows how to even things out, kid-wise. Just saying.
Anyway, back home I did an Iron Series workout and napped while my HUSBAND COOKED DINNER! Enchiladas from Nora Cooks and beer. Can’t go wrong with that!
I didn’t get as much reading done as I had hoped, but that’s okay- I’m going to read now and hopefully finish my book before I go to bed. I guess it was a pretty good day, overall!
How was your Mother’s Day? If you didn’t observe the day, how was your Sunday?
23 Responses
Oh goodness, YES. The need to have others happy about you being happy. I would have loved to go to a bagel shop and have bagels with smoked salmon and cream cheese this morning, but my husband bought cinnamon rolls and made fruit salad. I’m not going to be an asshole and say no to what he provided, and I’m glad, but yes, it’s that need, right?
I’m glad you had a good day, and I’m sorry about the gift certificate for the Lego set. I might have bought him one anyway, with a gift receipt in case he already had it, but since your daughter has already declared things, best stick with the gift card.
I had a lazy day…went to the Farmer’s Market, and also wrote letters to voters in PA (while watching Flashdance, HA!). Otherwise, a nice walk with my husband and daughter, nice breakfast and dinner. It was a good day. I miss my mom.
Sounds like you had a nice day as well! And yes about the cinnamon rolls… it’s funny, people are just trying to do nice things but we end up not spending the day as we would want… oh well. We’re lucky we have families who care about us!
Wow, that’s a very interesting quote! It’s how I felt about Christmas this year. Mother’s day was mostly fine. Husband made pancakes for breakfast, adult son bought me flowers for the porch ( his big sisters sent money- they usually boss around the oldest one at home to do this!), and far away son is sending me a tea and soap gift set. ( okay, this one is a little weird, as I only drink black tea and use unscented soap). The big down was going to the high school band concert. It was long, I didn’t have a seat and was very tired- eound up sitting on steps, and I disliked 2 of the 4 pieces his band played. ( the jazz one went on forever). I think from now on my husband gets to do candy concerts. I just don’t have an appreciation for jazz or some of the modern music. (Give me marching or musical theater!)
The Lego store – how frustrating. But know he’ll love picking something out. I agree with J – next time buy something and get a gift receipt. ( have you seen the Lego cat – so cute- I’ve bought the tuxedo one twice as gifts.)
Enjoy your Monday!
I have definitely seen the Lego cat! That’s what I should have got him, except they didn’t have it at the store. If I had thought ahead I could have ordered it.
It’s funny because I was thinking about Christmas yesterday- at least on Christmas EVERYONE is supposed to be happy. On Mother’s Day I feel the pressure that it’s just me. This is obviously all in my own head, I guess!
Band concerts! Not candy . My autocorrect is so weird.
I woke up with the same mental state, I will make this day happy no matter what others do or don’t do. And I think I’ve accomplished it because really what I wanted is a normal chill day with the family, with a nap and reading time.
I always wonder how to still in my girls life without imposing when they are adult. I’d be following you Jenny for the wisdom.
Oh boy- I don’t know if I’m someone to follow! My son makes it so easy for me to look like a “good” parent. My daughter and I have our struggles though! Glad you had a nice day- nap and reading time sounds perfect.
I read three books yesterday! They were short books but still, I just spent hours reading. It was lovely! I did no chores and just walked Rex, did yoga, and read books. Perfect!
That DOES sounds perfect, Nicole!!! I mean, three books and Rex… what more could a person want.
My youngest daughter’s birthday was yesterday, so that definitely was the focus of yesterday. However, we spent the day at my parents, my dad and brother cooked, and we had a lovely day swimming and hanging out with family. My husband’s birthday is today, so it’s just a very full time of year!
WOW. You do have a lot going on! I think I would kind of like that, so all the focus isn’t on me. Sounds like you had a really nice day.
I am inclined to go with “it is the dumbest day ever.” Too many expectations, all around. My day was pleasant, though! My husband got me two new books and then we got to spend the afternoon with my parents, which was lovely. I’m glad your day ended up well.
I was just thinking how adorable you looked in those glasses!!
Sad Divorced Mom sounds pretty specific. Who else has she seen with glasses like that?
My Mother’s Day was wonderful. Both sons and their wife/girlfriend came over, and the weather allowed us to spend most of our time outdoors. I played with my grandson Theo, and we snacked on a huge cookie cake that he picked out to bring for me. Later, we went to the local brewery for a bit, and I just grazed the fridge for dinner. It was perfect.
Mother’s Day has a nice sentiment behind it, but it feels like an obligation to me–for everyone. And I don’t like that.
YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM on the enchiladas! Note to self: I need to look for that beer. The stores had Florida Man by the same company a while back so I know it’s available for sale here.
I would put the possibility of your son being less close to you after the wedding on the list of Events Least Likely to Happen. I just don’t see it being a thing. The only thing that is going to change with the kids is that your daughter will grow up and lose the teen ‘tude. But sigh, then we won’t get to chuckle at all of her zingers on the blog. Ok, I think we’ve narrowed it down from the problem that is not going to happen to the one that is so now we know where to look for the solution.
Happy “Day of Making Everyone Else Feel Like They are Making You Happy”
I was able to spend Mother’s Day with my mom and it was pretty lowkey but nice! My dad picked up bagels for us and I was able to have one with vegan cream cheese which was great because most places don’t offer that. Then my mom and I went out to try to go pick up my drop bags from the race headquarters but they weren’t unpacked from the truck yet so that was a bust. But we spent the rest of the day in the pool since it was 104 degrees yesterday! And then had pasta for dinner. So it was a really nice day, but it was the last one of my 9 day break from work so now I’m sad it’s over!
Because Mother’s Day is no longer part of my life (no living grandmothers or mothers on either side), it literally did not occur to me that it WAS Mother’s Day yesterday until someone texted me that they hoped I was holding up okay. What a sweet thought, but it had completely slipped by my radar. Now I’m reading all these MD recaps and starting to feel like maybe there’s something wrong with me.
OH! And it brought up my MD dilemma that I just ignored. So my FIL married a very nice woman in 2020. She’s lovely, but she’s not my MIL, who died a few years before that. We never use the word “stepmother” to describe her – just FIL’s wife. But should we acknowledge her? She is NOT my husband’s mother and he was in his 40s when his father married her. I think some of the grandkids DO send cards because she goes to soccer games and concerts and things, but we just don’t. And I feel guilty about it. But it’s my husband’s decision and he would be super uncomfortable with the whole thing, so we just pretend MD doesn’t exist in our house.
I feel pretty grouchy about Mother’s Day – it’s just not a big deal to me but I feel like I am supposed to have an extra special day and feel appreciated. But I guess I feel pretty appreciated year round so don’t need a special day… and we are not gift people so when people ask what I got for Mother’s Day I feel obligated to explain we aren’t gift people. Sigh. But I did get some nice hanging baskets that the boys picked out at Home Depot. So I did get a gift, but it’s more because it’s that time of year than it being about Mother’s Day. I had intended to go get a pb cup blizzard as my treat but then Wil’s behavior was so terrible earlier in the day so I didn’t feel like he had earned a fun treat but I knew it would not go well if I got something and he didn’t…
So I do not buy that quote about sons… But I am married to a man that is very close to his mom. She’s been a widow since before we got married at Phil lost his dad in 2013. Before we had kids, Phil went to her house every weekend to do a list of chores for her. Once we had kids we had to renegotiate that arrangement and now he goes about every 2 weeks and usually brings one kid with him. He talks to her quite often, too. He facetimes with her probably 4 days/week with the kids. I’m not sure how to assess my brother’s relationship with my mom. One of them had moved pretty far away before he had kids and I don’t know that he was ever really particularly close to my mom? The other one is pretty close to my mom, though. I think the important thing is that each spouse should manage the relationship with their parents. So Phil handles most of the communication with his mom, and I handle the communication with my parents. I mean I still talk to his mom and he talks to my parents, but we each own communication around holiday plans, etc.
It sounds like a pretty good day overall (minus the comment about looking “sad and divorced” (LOL) and forgetting the receipt to return your book. I loved hearing about your conversation with your son – he sounds so sweet and considerate!
I went for a “virtual” Mother’s Day Walk with my mom and sister and we facetimed. I had a pretty chill Sunday otherwise.
It was a downer because the day before was my birthday and it rained. I had planned to run with friends and go out to brunch with all of them. Instead I walked around the mall (I did have brunch with one friend and dinner out with the hubby).
On Sunday I didn’t get up early enough to get my long run in before brunch and I did run some. We had dinner with my stepson, DIL, her parents (who are divorced), SIL and hubby. It was ok but lunch at 11am?
I did some errands. It was an ok day… nothing special. No gifts. No cards.
“Sad divorced mom” glasses?!? LOL your daughter is unintentionally hilarious! Your son also sounds very lovely with wanting to not become less close after he gets married. What a nice thing to hear!
You do NOT look sad OR divorced and I kinda want to give your daughter a swift kick in the rear end, proverbially speaking of course. SIGH.
You look happy and content and cozy.
LOL @ your daughter. Teen girls can be BRUTAL. Actually, kids can be brutal because my nephews say some WILD stuff to my brother. Parenting is not for the weak, that’s for sure.
I love Muffin’s snuggling right in front of you as you blog. Eloise loves to do the same thing! Lila just wants to sit nearby and aggressively swish her tail so hard that it makes the mouse move, haha.